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The Kibbitzer Photo Album XXVI

10/5/2023

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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to the holidays with David’s visit to the graves before Rosh Hashana, his spotting of a Shofar bag in Jerusalem and the Tefillah overlooking the Old City that only David would complain about, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for complaining about everything you enjoyed over the Chagim.
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Somebody asked me what תנצבה means... 5547 was not a good year for Jewish people. It looks like they all passed away in 1787... Whatever it means, their souls should be bound in the bond of life.
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The Jerusalem Shofar carrying bag and water bottle. Perfect for when you need to blow the Shofar on a Tiyul. (saying something about a Shofar on a hike was where our creativity on this joke came to a halt)
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Not one happy face. That’s what it looks like when you’ve got to sit next to people in shul on Yom Kippur. When they don’t give you an armrest and you’ve paid two hundred dollars. When the Chazin has a good voice... Anger. (Photo: sauderworship.com)
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I believe the sax added twenty-five minutes to Hallel. Lesson: Never join a synagogue that has more than a one-piece band... At least we had a beautiful view overlooking Yerushalayim. That made it easier to space out forty minutes into Hallel.
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    Picture
    What’s an ant that wants family to be at their wedding? A cantaloupe!
    You get it? An antelope would be an ant that can elope. Science. This one can't. Hence, cantaloupe. It's a religious ant. C-ant-aloupe. Not the fruit. A type of ant. Ant is in there, in the middle. The ant can't elope. It's a religious ant. Wants her family to be there. And she likes fruit.
    That ant that shows up at the wedding is your mother’s sister that doesn’t hate you.
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    Chason/Chatan- A man whose family members tell him, after the wedding, that his life will change. Sentence: ‘Now your decisions aren’t yours.’ Said by his uncle, to remind him that his uncle made a bad decision and he regrets it. Another Sentence: ‘Just remember these words: “I am sorry.”’ Response: A required laugh, from everybody who already heard Uncle Tivi say this at every Sheva Brachot. Response from the Chatan: ‘Why did nobody mention this until now?! Would you not think this is something you would have brought up before the wedding?!
    Picture
    Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
    Thursday - Sept. 17 @ 7pm
    Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm

    Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY 
    For Tickets Click Here 
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    (Nidda 30b) Before birth you learn all of Torah. And then an angel comes hits you on your mouth, and you forget it. We learn much from this comforting teaching, knowing how easily we forget stuff. And this is why I did bad in Gemara class. We also learn that angels have a very violent temper.

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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.

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Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.

  • Articles
  • Shabbat Printout VI
    • Shabbat Printout Year V
    • Shabbat Printout Year IV
    • Shabbat Printout Year III
    • Shabbat Printout Year II
    • Shabbat Printout Year I
  • Health and Healing
  • About Us
    • Partner and Dedicate
    • Subscribe
    • Get In Touch
    • Contributors
    • FAQ
    • Terms of Use