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The Kibbitzer Photo Album XXVI

10/5/2023

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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to the holidays with David’s visit to the graves before Rosh Hashana, his spotting of a Shofar bag in Jerusalem and the Tefillah overlooking the Old City that only David would complain about, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for complaining about everything you enjoyed over the Chagim.
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Somebody asked me what תנצבה means... 5547 was not a good year for Jewish people. It looks like they all passed away in 1787... Whatever it means, their souls should be bound in the bond of life.
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The Jerusalem Shofar carrying bag and water bottle. Perfect for when you need to blow the Shofar on a Tiyul. (saying something about a Shofar on a hike was where our creativity on this joke came to a halt)
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Not one happy face. That’s what it looks like when you’ve got to sit next to people in shul on Yom Kippur. When they don’t give you an armrest and you’ve paid two hundred dollars. When the Chazin has a good voice... Anger. (Photo: sauderworship.com)
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I believe the sax added twenty-five minutes to Hallel. Lesson: Never join a synagogue that has more than a one-piece band... At least we had a beautiful view overlooking Yerushalayim. That made it easier to space out forty minutes into Hallel.
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    Picture
    The kids were very loud, so their parents had them play Mom’s the Word.
    You get it? Mum’s the Word. But mom wants silence. So, it’s Mom’s the Word. A game of silence, where Mom’s the only one who can talk. Moms love the game, and it makes Moms happy.

    Picture
    Ima- a) A person who does everything for you. These people clean, wash your clothes, cook, listen to your complaints. Then, you get married and complain about them visiting. See Shviger for how you offensively refer to people who love you.
    b) The lyrics to every Mizrachi song. Full Lyrics to Mizrachi Song: “Ima. Ani Ohev Otach. Ima.”
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    Show was amazing... Looking forward to sharing laughs with your community. Shoot an email to [email protected] to bring David out for laughs and song.
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    People always ask, “Is Mother’s Day Asur?” There is drinking, gambling, and doing something kind for your parents. You should stay away from all of them.
    Many rabbis say that every day is Mother’s Day. So, treat the day like every other day and honor your mother by doing nothing for her.
    As a rabbi, I will say Mother’s Day is forbidden. It feels more religious to say it’s Asur, and to do nothing for your parents.

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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.

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Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.

  • Articles
  • Shabbat Printout VI
    • Shabbat Printout Year V
    • Shabbat Printout Year IV
    • Shabbat Printout Year III
    • Shabbat Printout Year II
    • Shabbat Printout Year I
  • Health and Healing
  • About Us
    • Partner and Dedicate
    • Subscribe
    • Get In Touch
    • Contributors
    • FAQ
    • Terms of Use