​Not a rebbe of Torah, but Itzhak Perlman is a rebbe of violin. We learn lessons from Itzhak Perlman's violin playing. It's like learning Torah, without Torah. You get to create the moral Torah lesson, even if it's not Torah. Kind of like a sermon.

This is about the famous show where Itzhak Perlman had a string pop on him in the middle of a performance. He should've fired the string guy. He didn't. That's the first lesson I learned from the story. Don't hold your staff accountable, and they will stick around.
People have asked me, 'Was he doing staccato?' 'Was he smacking the thing with the horse hair bow?' 'Was he angry at the conductor, and did he try hit him with the instrument?" All I know is a string popped. That's the story. That's what he's known for. I heard he is good at violin too. But he's known for the string.

Side Note that Adds to the Story: To see Itzhak Perlman walk on stage is a spectacle. He was stricken with polio as a child and walks on stage with leg braces and crutches. Seeing him walk across the stage with calculated steps is a sight. Some people go to his show just to see that. In the lobby, you can hear them, 'Paid two-hundred dollars. What a walk?! Amazing.'
That night, nobody cared about overcoming polio, and becoming one of the greatest violinists the world has seen. There was a broken string. Broken strings are a true sight. When they pop. Wow. That's inspiration.

The string popped. I don't know which string it was. I am guessing it was the E. You say hello to that string and it pops.
He didn't leave the stage and nobody brought him another string. At that point, he should've fired the whole crew. They all saw it, and just stood there. 
After a brief moment, he continued playing. He realized nobody was going to help him. They all saw him walking on stage, and yet, nobody did anything. After noticing that nobody was going to help, and it was going to take a good half hour to get off the stage, to fix his violin, he said, 'The hell with it. I'm going to just continue the thing.' He knew it wasn't time for the intermission yet, and if he got off the stage the audience would complain and Kvetch the whole night. So, he went on.
The orchestra did nothing. They just stood there and stared at him. They were all trying to figure out if he would go all the way back off the stage. As one of the viola players said, 'We waited a sonata for him to get to his seat. Is he going to make us wait again?!' Viola players are very snobby. They think they're better, because they have bigger instruments. To quote, 'My violin is bigger, and thus I am better.' As the viola players took bets, Itzhak Perlman kept on playing.
All were amazed. His mother wasn't impressed. She was noted as saying, 'He still has to practice. He still doesn't know how to tune the thing right.'

It was to everyone’s amazement that Itzhak Perlman kept playing that violin, when a concerto cannot be played with only three strings. And all who were at that show were amazed, and wanted their money back.
The fact that Itzhak Perlman didn't know that a concerto needs four strings was very bothersome. One columnist let it be known, 'He's a professional. He should know that a concerto needs four strings.'
As the complaints came in, it turned out that many felt like they got ripped off, not being able to see Itzhak Perlman with a full violin. To quote, 'That was the most amazing show I've ever seen. It will be talked about for generations. Sermons will be given for generations about this inspirational performance. Great to be there. We loved it. We will never see a show this great again. Priceless. We want our money back. We paid for a four string violin performance.'

Back to what happened on the stage.
Itzhak Perlman continued that concert, thinking nobody would ask for money back. He played with more passion than ever. That's what anger can do. Nobody coming out and helping him, he was mad. A bunch of yutzes.
It was a show put on from the soul. He had to recompose the piece in his head, to make it all fit into three strings. Ever tried doing bar chords on a guitar? This was harder. He even had to retune strings in the middle, to make new sounds. The orchestra was trying to figure out what to do, as they had already tuned their instruments. The crowd loves hearing instruments being tuned; that's why I go to the orchestra. I love hearing them tune.
All with three strings, Itzhak Perlman put on a passionate and uplifting performance. Can you imagine if he played with that much passion on four strings. His mother went on, 'He should learn to play a four string violin.'

At the end of the show, to huge cheers, he said,  ‘You know, sometimes it is the artist’s task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left.' He should've continued, 'My staff that didn't help. They're all fired.'
And the audience members used that as an excuse to get their money back, pointing out that not everything was at the performance.

And rabbis have been giving sermons ever since.

Lessons of What Followed
People will never help you. No matter how bad you have it. They won't lift a finger. Not one person came to help him with the violin. In the whole theater, not one decent soul. I hope he didn't play that town again.
His mother continued, 'If he would put in that much effort with a four string violin he would be a something.'

Much of the audience said they didn't connect with his message. One woman in the back said, 'I'm not an artist. I work in the medical health field.' Another guy said, 'I play guitar. I don't play violin. I'm not an artist.' Another young lady said, 'I don't know.' She didn't finish college.
After the show, many said he's not an artist. He is a violinist. Since then, in his later years, he has made it a point to prove them wrong and has taken up painting, sculpting and graffiti.
Lesson: The only way people will pay for your art is when you're gone.

Since this inspirational performance, support for polio research has gone down. Support for violins and the needs of the Suzuki method has grown immensely. Much money has been raised for research to make the neck brace more comfortable for violinists. The head of the research center for softer violin neck holders is quoted as saying, 'This. The neck. The way you have to turn it and contort. This is an epidemic.' They went on to explain why violinists are always looking to the left, even at dinner parties.

Rabbis have been using this 'how much music you can still make with what you have left' since. It has especially inspired those Bar Mitzvah kids who mess up the Torah reading and their families, letting their parents know that this is what the Jewish people have left. As the rabbi of my shul said after Yankel read the Torah, 'We have to do the best we can with what we just saw. It won't be easy, but it's what our people have left.'
Quoted more than Moshe telling Paroh to let the Jews out, three sermons a year are based around this story in every congregation. What making music means? Nobody knows. Sermons are more meaningful when they're not understood. 

Without the broken string story Itzhak Perlman would be a nothing. Nobody cares about the violining. They especially don't care about overcoming polio. It's the string that popped.
I am changing this story to 'His String That Wasn't,' about a guitar player who ran on stage. That's more meaningful.

***To fact check the story, please see https://www.atime.org/chizuk/with-whats-left/

Lenny Solomon revolutionized Jewish music when he decided to stop doing Jewish songs in Hebrew. He took the pop hits and turned them into Jewish hits. He realized that the greatest way to make a hit, is to take a hit and make it a hit.
The art of taking the music of others and changing the words has helped the world of Jewish music grow, without using Jewish music. Since the pop revelation, Lenny Solomon has been Shlock rocking with his Shlock Rock, making it to communities all over the globe and spreading the word of non-Jewish songs to Jews.
Some songs may have been written by Jews, but we still parody them, as we make them Jewish. What makes Jewish parody unique to other forms of parody is its ability to leave out anything funny.  So lets Shlok Rock.
Here are some of Lenny's Shlock Rock greats.

Making Aliyah Today
tune of 'Born in the USA' by Bruce Springsteen
Lyrics: Gotta call from a man today. It was my Rabbi he said move away. 
Go to a place where the land is good. Land of milk and Honey and Brotherhood. I was Born in the U.S.A, Now I’m Making Aliyah Today. (2X)
Explanation: Aliyah means moving to Israel. In this song, Lenny Solomon took the most patriotic American song and changed it 180 to leaving the USA. The message is more important than the song.  I can't wait to hear what Lenny does to John Mellencamp's 'Small Town.' Those lyrics will show as, 'I was born in a small town. And now I live in New York City. I'm happy I left the small town. Never wanted to live in that same small town.'
It should've been called 'Born in the USA,' but that would be plagiarism. 

To Unite All Jews
tune of 'With or Without You' by U2
Lyrics: To unite all Jews. To unite a-all Jews, right now. I can't wait, to unite all Jews.
Explanation: Love songs are frowned upon, unless singing to Gd. Hence, we had to change the U2 song. Until Bono writes Shir Hashirim (Song of Songs), we are not singing his lyrics. I think we all have to rethink our concept of romance.

Abarbanel
tune of 'Barbara Ann' by the Beach Boys
Lyrics: Abar bar bar bar bar barnel. Abar bar bar bar bar barnel. Abar bar bar bar bar barnel. Abarbanane-e-el. We think you're swe-e-el. Abarbane-e-el.
Explanation: I still don't know who the Abarbanel is. He was definitely a rabbi who lived a long time ago. He has a commentary on the Mishna and is a great rabbi. They should've said 'we think you're grey-ey-eyt,' but that doesn't rhyme with his name. To note, that 'ey' is there for phonetic reasons. I believe this article should be a seminar. I also believe 'Abar bar bar bar bar barnel' should be repeated more. It's fun, and unlike 'Barbara Ann,' which I always thought was 'Barbaran,' you don't think the name is something else.
The song goes on, 'Went to a shiur. Thought it would be queer. Saw Abarbanel, Now I’m learning for a year. Abarbanel.' I believe those lyrics were fine in the '80s. Listen to Safam's 'Just another Foreigner' for more great lyrics that were fine in the '80s, like 'I met a man from Addis Ababa. His skin was black and his features kind of strange.'

So many great Jewish songs written by Lenny, none greater than my favorite 'Am
Yisrael Chai.' A song that never made it as big, because he wrote the tune. He should've used one of Whitney Houston's for that. It would still be a hit.
Lenny figured out the formula. You take a classic and it's a classic. How Lenny Solomon can turn any rock song into an instant Jewish classic is something that only Vanilla Ice could understand.
Through Shlock Rock, he took every song and made it Jewish. And somehow, through the irony of doing it, the Jewish parody makes you laugh. Thanks to 'The Boss,' Lenny Solomon is a Jewish legend.
People being educated by songs is questionable to me. Even so, there's so much we can learn, especially when Lenny sings of the 'Minyan Man.' If somebody were to ask me, right now, how to connect to Judaism, I would tell them to read a book.

***Next time we'll talk about parodying Men At Work into Hebrew. We will delve into how Piamenta revolutionized Jewish music to the next level, opening up the concept of not writing the tune or the lyrics.

RELIGION
•People of Israel are reporting lost objects from yards.
​Lag BOmer is coming up this week. Which means kids in Israel are collecting all wood. All people of Modiin and Beit Shemesh are being warned to watch over their homes and to ensure that their doors are still there by the end of Thursday night. Quoting a local mom, 'The kids will take anything that burns.'
•Yeshiva University is planning to put a stop on inperson Hebrew courses. JTA reports, 'The new Hebrew courses will be asynchronous, meaning students will not interact in real time with a teacher.' They are hoping this will help with Conversational Hebrew 101.

SPORTS
•Julian Edelman, is retiring from football. Julion won MVP of Super Bowl LIII and became recognized as Jewish at that exact moment. Due to his retirement, the non-acceptance of patrilineal descent may be back. As the Jewish pride window of MVP is already past, Edelman may not be considered Jewish by orthodox standards anymore. Julian Edelman will now be asked to convert, or he will have to join Tom Brady on the Buccaneers.
•Deni Avdija's ended his rookie year with an injured ankle. This would be considered an act of anti-semitism, but nobody touched him. I did see people clapping when they wheeled him off the court. Some say it's support. They were really clapping because they were happy the coach had to take the Jew out of the game.
•As Edelman and Avdija are not bringing anymore Jewish pride, and Jewish educators can't find a way for youth to connect to Judaism through Torah (as that is not how people connect to Yiddishkeit), the Jewish people are trying to find a way for Steph Curry to be Jewish.
Talks in the world of Jewish pride has even brought up bringing back of Goldberg as a geriatric WWE star, so that Jewish children will want to remain Jewish and wrestle.

ENTERTAINMENT
•The new season of Shtisel is up, which means Jews are not showing up to shul. As one rabbi said, 'Just as everybody in our community has been vaccinated and shuls are opening, Jews are still not leaving their homes. We're praying that our community finishes the series.' 
For the young children reading this, Shtisel is not a new form of Israeli breaded chicken. (this was Mark's addition- he added nothing else to the commentary)

STYLE
•The Kippah is now being worn on the front, right side of the head. As summer approaches, the Kippah sticking out of the black hat is back.
•New in suburban Jewish communities of New Jersey, aerobics. Sheitels (wigs) are being used while working out. As one woman said, 'It's modest headgear with a sweatband type elastic. It also keeps my hair out of my eyes.'
Jewish men still refuse to exercise, claiming it ruins the enjoyment of choolante.

ISRAEL 
•Mohmoud Abbas will address J Street at their annual conference. J Streeters are extremely proud of the auspicious day, saying, 'Finally an Israeli leader we can get behind.' The conference is also hoping to host Al Sharpton and Eddie Vedder. All guests are being brought in to speak about Jewish pride and love of Israel.

WORLD
•'Sweden’s Minister of Justice announces support for ban on Holocaust denial,' making it illegal (World Jewish Congress). The Holocaust deniers do not recognize the ban. As they said, 'We deny that too.' Caught up in their very desire to be contrary, the deniers have decided to deny that they believe that the Holocaust didn't happen.

Anti-Semitism Still Exists
•It's still there.

*Disclaimer: This is nobody's opinion. If any of Jews in the News This Week is offensive to you, it's satire.