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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to see how David stops people from talking in shul, while he complains about Israeli boardgames and having to come home from Israel to mail, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for complaining about puzzles educating children about how a Shabbat table looks.
The no talking in shul bookmark. The most passive aggressive gift to give during Davening. I could’ve just smacked him. Instead, I reminded him that he was poor, single and sick because he was talking in shul. And all I needed to tell him that was a bookmark about being a good Jew... I walked over and kindly gave it to the guy during Chazaras HaShas. He then started a conversation with me, asking, ‘Why are you giving me a bookmark for my Siddur. Siddurs don’t need bookmarks'... To Note: This is the most useful item for people who talk in shul. It’s not always easy to find where the congregation is at, after a conversation during Shacharit.
'Let’s Dress Yoni.' How about we do that?! Why is Yoni never dressed? Is this a game or just not proper, immodest dress?... I think his parents are manipulating him. The sequel is called Let’s Tie Yoni’s shoes. The series continues with Let’s See Yoni Eat His Chicken and Let’s See Yoni Eat Vegetables Before He Gets Dessert. And the last in the series, Let’s See Yoni Pray the Shema and Go To Sleep While Not Disturbing His Parents.
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Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY For Tickets Click Here My friend’s pig wanted to wish you all a Hog Sameach. You get it? Chag Sameach. Americans can’t say the “Chet.” They say “Hag Sameach.” But this is a hog. So, Hog Sameach. A pig would say that. Most American say “Happy Holiday.” Americans aren’t pigs. Eating too much on Sukkot does not make you a pig. It makes you a person with an upset stomach, who put on twelve pounds. I hope that clears up any misconceptions about why the pig is saying “Hog Sameach,” and people from the US do not. Though, Americans can be quite friendly. Sukkah- A hut that is poorly built. Not a mitzvah. H’ knew that is the best a Jew can do. No Jew can build anything that lasts longer than seven days. And that is without rain. My Brother-in-law Teaching his Son to Build: ‘What you gotta do is take the soft side. Then you take the hard side of the Velcro. Tap as such… take the metal. Slip it through canvas. That’s how we build…’
Hakafot on Simchat Torah isn’t a Mitzvah. It’s tradition. Please don’t pull me into the dancing circle. It’s very uncomfortable. I don’t know when the tradition of pulling self-conscious people who don’t know how to dance, into a circle of people who don’t know how to dance, started.
I love the Torah. Let me celebrate the Torah as I do, by throwing candies at kids. Categories
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1/16/2024
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