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The Kibbitzer Photo Album XXI

4/23/2023

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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to Pesach and how David went broke on mayonnaise, and how to save money on a car by using the shopping cart to bring the groceries home, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing the fact that he stole shopping carts in Israel.
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That is how the punchline of a Jewish joke should look. Like you're questioning something, dealing with serious stomach issues, or giving a sermon.
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I knew Pesach was coming when... I had to pay $11 for mayonnaise. And that is the sale price… Any Pesach food less than eighty dollars is a deal... There must be Matzah in the mayonnaise.
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The fridge is full again, and it all cost less than a pound of Matzah.
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No need for a car. Supermarket carts in Israel only cost ten shekels. Put 10nis in the cart and it's yours. And it fits the groceries perfectly... The carts are the best deal at Shufersal. Better than their sales on drinks and nuts.
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    Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
    Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm

    Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY 
    For Tickets Click Here 
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    My friend’s pig wanted to wish you all a Hog Sameach.
    You get it? Chag Sameach. Americans can’t say the “Chet.” They say “Hag Sameach.” But this is a hog. So, Hog Sameach. A pig would say that. Most American say “Happy Holiday.” Americans aren’t pigs. Eating too much on Sukkot does not make you a pig. It makes you a person with an upset stomach, who put on twelve pounds. I hope that clears up any misconceptions about why the pig is saying “Hog Sameach,” and people from the US do not. Though, Americans can be quite friendly. 
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    Sukkah- A hut that is poorly built. Not a mitzvah. H’ knew that is the best a Jew can do. No Jew can build anything that lasts longer than seven days. And that is without rain. My Brother-in-law Teaching his Son to Build: ‘What you gotta do is take the soft side. Then you take the hard side of the Velcro. Tap as such… take the metal. Slip it through canvas. That’s how we build…’
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    Hakafot on Simchat Torah isn’t a Mitzvah. It’s tradition. Please don’t pull me into the dancing circle. It’s very uncomfortable. I don’t know when the tradition of pulling self-conscious people who don’t know how to dance, into a circle of people who don’t know how to dance, started.
    I love the Torah. Let me celebrate the Torah as I do, by throwing candies at kids.

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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.

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  • Articles
  • Shabbat Printout VI
    • Shabbat Printout Year V
    • Shabbat Printout Year IV
    • Shabbat Printout Year III
    • Shabbat Printout Year II
    • Shabbat Printout Year I
  • Health and Healing
  • About Us
    • Partner and Dedicate
    • Subscribe
    • Get In Touch
    • Contributors
    • FAQ
    • Terms of Use