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The Kibbitzer Photo Album XI

7/13/2022

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Let's take a stroll down memory lane back to community dinners, food in bulk for Kiddish and graduations, with the Kibbitzer's pictures from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing how he buys huge store brand drinks, because they're cheaper.
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That's what a singles community dinner looks like. A bunch of people focused on food. Nobody talking. A lot of effort trying to figure out how to approach the chumus and matzah balls... Asking to pass the chumus might have been the only words exchanged. Some of the singles even consider that quite forward, as you can reach for it. (Photo: NY Times- Moishe House)
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Do we play Monopoly? No. We play Good Business. It’s not just a game. We are playing for a place in heaven... I always knew Monopoly was educating the next generation wrong. You shouldn’t be charging two thousand dollars for a one-night stay in a hotel, even if it’s the boardwalk. Good Business shows the children that you should be giving charity. Welcoming guests is a commandment in the Torah. Let them stay for free. You may lose the game, but you are winning a spot in heaven... The tagline, 'The Game of Jewish Businesses,' also makes it clear to the kids that Jews run the airlines, hotels, and have a lot of money. For fear of perpetuating more anti-Semitism, they left out banks and media; even though Jews are running all of those in Israel... I do have to say that the little kid in that picture, with the tie and purple shirt, looks a bit too slick to be doing honest business. I wouldn’t trust that sketchy little guy for a second, even if I saw him in shul.
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What parents do to get a cute nursery school graduation picture. It's wrong. It should be Asur. (Photo: tipjunkie.com)
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Frum family size. Three liter huge cola. The religious man’s dream portion… Thanks to Price Rite, we've had Kiddish for generations. We have religious families that can enjoy Friday night dinners. We have Shabbatons with heavy kids… Not Coke. That's fine. The Kiddish fund doesn't have that kind of money... I would trade Coke for three liters any day. I'm Frum... Todah Rabbah Price Rite, for focusing on largeness.
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    Picture
    Why did the Jews working in Jerusalem wear denim? They were Levis.
    You get it? Levi’s. Levis. Levi’s are jeans, made out of denim. Do Levites wear jeans when working in construction. I would like to think they wear jeans when putting up buildings.

    Picture
    The plastic Jewish diet spoon. I got it from the caterer who didn’t have enough cake. The spoon did make the souffle look bigger... Since using it for breakfast, I've taken off a lot of weight. I have noticed it now takes longer to eat cereal. And most of the time, the Golden Grahams fall off the spoon, helping with more weight loss. A quite utilitarian utensil.
    That other spoon is the old spoon I used to use. It held the cereal and I ate. I'm not going to use that again.

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    David Kilimnick - Israel's "Father of Anglo Comedy" (JPost) is not touring with his Israel solidarity show. Bring David to your community, college campus, shul, home, to share laughs of Jewish unity... 585-738-9233 [email protected]
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    Rambam Hilchot Rotzeyach (11:4-5) teaches that one who puts themselves in danger is violating the positive commandment of (Decarim 4:9) "Beware of yourself and guard your soul." Thus, it is important to not deal with congregants. As they can be very annoying. As with a deep hole, one should put a fence around the congregation, at least ten handbreadths high, so they stay away from you.
    One must also not put themselves in a danger when traveling. 
    Thus, one mustn’t travel to date, as that can lead to marriage.

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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.

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  • Articles
  • Shabbat Printout Year V
    • Shabbat Printout Year IV
    • Shabbat Printout Year III
    • Shabbat Printout Year II
    • Shabbat Printout Year I
  • Health and Healing
  • About Us
    • Partner and Dedicate
    • Subscribe
    • Get In Touch
    • Contributors
    • FAQ
    • Terms of Use