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The Kibbitzer Photo Album VII

3/10/2022

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Let's take a stroll down memory lane back to Israel with the Kibbitzer's pictures from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing what he's done for decorum in the Holy Land.
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The anti-Semites in the airport were looking at us like we were doing a ritual sacrifice. I will admit that the Tallit colors didn't speak to the South Africans... Boarding killed my Amidah. My connection with H' during the silent prayer would have been much better if the plane was delayed.
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No mask protest in Israel, and everybody is wearing masks. That's how we protest our government. It's a protest with consent. We let them know we're against them, while showing agreement... I love protests. Protests are festivals for the poor. Right there is a guy teaching his son how to play an instrument when dad has no money.
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We don't think the waiter knew he was working a wedding… They must not tell you what gig you're working in Israel. The photographer had on a tank top. The DJ had on a tank undershirt... Maybe they don’t know people wear suits to weddings. Somebody must’ve told that waiter to make sure he has an undershirt. He didn’t know to throw a button-down on top of it… The photographer did make his way into a few pictures. His sidekick got him in the background, looking like a guest that forgot his shirt and jacket... Maybe he was told he’s working a concession with plated service.
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Those are millennials. You can see by the way they're sitting in a circle and talking. They're learning Torah and smiling. Definitely millennials. They’re coming up with new commentaries. People who sit in circles and smile create new ideas. Smiles of heresy. (Photo: Laura Turbow- Kevah Teacher Training)
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    Picture
    What’s an ant that wants family to be at their wedding? A cantaloupe!
    You get it? An antelope would be an ant that can elope. Science. This one can't. Hence, cantaloupe. It's a religious ant. C-ant-aloupe. Not the fruit. A type of ant. Ant is in there, in the middle. The ant can't elope. It's a religious ant. Wants her family to be there. And she likes fruit.
    That ant that shows up at the wedding is your mother’s sister that doesn’t hate you.
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    Chason/Chatan- A man whose family members tell him, after the wedding, that his life will change. Sentence: ‘Now your decisions aren’t yours.’ Said by his uncle, to remind him that his uncle made a bad decision and he regrets it. Another Sentence: ‘Just remember these words: “I am sorry.”’ Response: A required laugh, from everybody who already heard Uncle Tivi say this at every Sheva Brachot. Response from the Chatan: ‘Why did nobody mention this until now?! Would you not think this is something you would have brought up before the wedding?!
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    Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
    Thursday - Sept. 17 @ 7pm
    Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm

    Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY 
    For Tickets Click Here 
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    (Nidda 30b) Before birth you learn all of Torah. And then an angel comes hits you on your mouth, and you forget it. We learn much from this comforting teaching, knowing how easily we forget stuff. And this is why I did bad in Gemara class. We also learn that angels have a very violent temper.

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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.

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Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.

  • Articles
  • Shabbat Printout VI
    • Shabbat Printout Year V
    • Shabbat Printout Year IV
    • Shabbat Printout Year III
    • Shabbat Printout Year II
    • Shabbat Printout Year I
  • Health and Healing
  • About Us
    • Partner and Dedicate
    • Subscribe
    • Get In Touch
    • Contributors
    • FAQ
    • Terms of Use