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Let's take a stroll down memory lane, with the Kibbitzer's pictues from the past couple months, including the holidays. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing what's wrong with his life, with us.
We love the Kosher Chinese place... The chow-mein noodles were free. Deal!!!! We paid for the sweet and sour chicken. Should've just taken the noodles... We also love 7-Eleven, due to crushed ice in our drinks. Even if it’s watered down and it doesn’t taste like Coke, it’s crushed ice... The crush ice is free too, if you bring your own cup.
All yarmulkes in the skullcap box at shul double as reflectors. Safety first... I got called to the Torah and they wrapped a scarf around me. I asked for a Tallis... satin Kippah and a wrap, I might as well stop keeping Shabbat.
My makolet (bodega) turned into a Doar post office. We thought the message from the Doar was telling me that us that we got some Graeter's ice cream shipped to Israel that we had to pick up... His freezer was full of packages and he has stopped selling frozen chicken... B"H, he didn't charge us his unmarked prices, that he usually creates when we go in there, on the mail.
Proof. Max Stock is a Jewish store... The holidays are coming. That means, tins. They know that you don't cook for 80 people with pots and no leftovers... I bought 35 tins because I can care less about the environment when I'm celebrating. I also picked up the Costco plasticware bundle. I'm not cleaning anything... There was no more tinfoil at Max Stock. I bought it all. I’m religious and I celebrate the holidays. I’m ready for Sukkot. I bought them out of tinfoil.
No Sukkah is fully decorated until the Christmas lights are hung... Tradition is to not buy these until January. Jews don’t purchase Christmas products, until after Christmas, when they go on sale. That's when we are allowed to use them... We picked these lights up in the religious area of Meah Shearim. Our eighth Sukkot in Israel and we started celebrating Christmas in Fall. The weather outside was delightful. I say, what us religious Jews don’t know shouldn’t hurt us... If you look close enough, you can see that the guy with the red hat has a long white beard. That’s Jewish.
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How do we know Rachel paid her maidservant? She’d Bilhah. You get it? Bilhah. Bill her. Rachel’s maid was Bilhah. Zilpah didn’t charge Leah. How do we know that? Because she didn’t Bilhah. Thank you. See how I brought that pun back around for you. 
My kitchen. I keep them. Never use them. But I keep them. Must have at least three hundred paper bags. One for each time I go shopping without a plastic bag. And that’s how I help the world, saving the environment. Tikun Olam. The question
International stand-up comedian, David Kilimnick, brings The Humor Hour of laughs to the resident seniors at your facility…
Also book David (Israel's "father of Agnlo comedy") for your shul Stand-up night and community Comedy Kumzits Singalong Show- To Book David to bring the joy and laughs contact [email protected]
(Pirkei Avot 5:10) “One who says ‘what’s mine is mine and yours is yours’ is a regular person.” That sounds right. Regular people say stupid stuff. And we’re not talking about somebody who doesn’t share their Milk of Magnesia.
“And some say it’s the Sodom character trait.” Your not sharing Sunkist fruit gems destroys. Like Sodom, you’re selfish. You don’t invite people to your house. You don’t give to the poor. And you take all the choolante meat at Kiddish. Sorry. I was just at a Bar Mitzvah. It’s the “all about me” attitude. And that’s how regular people are. Regular people never share their gummies. And that’s why Sodom got destroyed. And that dad was right for armbaring the kid who didn’t share the Bar Mitzvah fruit gem bags. Lesson of Love: By sharing your Paskesz, you can save the world. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
9/30/2021
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