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The Kibbitzer Photo Album II

8/5/2021

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Let's take a stroll down memory lane, with the Kibbitzer's pictues from the past few months. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing what's wrong with his life, with us.
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The shul sink. They're now using hand sanitizer as soap... They pushed away the washing cup and poured sanitizer on the Kohen. They told him that it’s not sanitary to clean with water... We know that they ran out of spots for the sanitizer in the sanctuary. The siddur holders are full of the stuff... (They either have too much of it, or the vaccinated people still wearing their masks are making another statement. Or somebody now thinks soap doesn't work either.)
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How Americans dads give to the next generation. Adopting a highway. We take pride in our interstates... The true gift of pride, knowing you don't have watch over another kid... They know nobody’s going to adopt a kid. This is much easier.
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The pantry at my friend’s bungalow. She wanted to make sure no bugs made it out of there alive. I don't know what vendetta she had against the hexapoda kingdom. I'm assuming they got into the cereal. The ants had no chance. Three of those were ant execution shpritzes. (I’m still trying to figure out how that stuff works to keep food from sticking to the pan.)
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Littering at the Kotel has got to stop... Unless if it's H' reading those letters and then dropping them after He’s finished. Either that, or the requests are not very interesting. Probably another letter for Parnsah. Everybody wants money.
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I went to the Kotel to meet up with my friend. He said to meet him in the men's section. I had a hard time finding him. He said he had a kippa.
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Candies in fruit form and whatever freakish watermelon that is. Yogueta, the creators of the gateway candy, doing anything they can to wean the kids off the fruit.
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Arcades are casinos for little kids. Half the games had JACKPOT in flashing neon lights. I realized it's Asur and a breeding ground for gambling when I heard her say to her dad, 'Just one more. I'm feeling it. I'm going to win this time.'
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    How do we know Balak didn’t pay? He had to Bil-am.
    You get it? Bilam. Bill him. If you say Bilam fast it sounds like bill him. That’s how we know there was no prophet. Another pun. Profit. Bilam was a prophet. Prophet. Profit. Brilliant. Do prophets make profit? I guess it depends on if they get paid.

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    Mazel Tov. It’s a dog... I think it’s great when people give birth to dogs. They’re just not good on deciding what to order. I waited on line for a good ten minutes for that dog to make a decision as to what coffee it wanted. At some point, I decided to cut him.
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    David Kilimnick - Israel's "Father of Anglo Comedy" (JPost) is not touring with his Israel solidarity show. Bring David to your community, college campus, shul, home, to share laughs of Jewish unity... 585-738-9233 [email protected]
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    Peninei Halacha (Zemanim 8:6:2-3) says that bathing is allowed during the 3 Weeks. So no excuse for the kids in camp smelling like that.

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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.

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Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.

  • Articles
  • Shabbat Printout Year V
    • Shabbat Printout Year IV
    • Shabbat Printout Year III
    • Shabbat Printout Year II
    • Shabbat Printout Year I
  • Health and Healing
  • About Us
    • Partner and Dedicate
    • Subscribe
    • Get In Touch
    • Contributors
    • FAQ
    • Terms of Use