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Kids were running all over the stage. No candy was thrown. They’re just running. They were using the ark curtain as a cape. It’s out of hand.
This new parenting thing is not working. The parents bring their kids to shul and let them run wild. They believe that as long as the children are contained, they’ve done their job as a parent. The fact that I can’t say the Amida and pray without a child knocking into me is not the parents’ worry. The new ideal is for your child to love religion. I think the kids love jumping. They jump on the Bima (stage). They jump on the chairs, in shul. They used the community Chanukiah as a slide. I don't think they love religion. They love playing on religion in our shul. It's either let the children play, or send them to camp. If you teach them Torah, they will hate their religion. If they toss the books, they'll love it. Need that kid who gives the Mussar, ‘you have to learn Torah or you’re going to hell.’ I love when he gives the Dvar Torahs. The rebuke is amazing. It makes me feel good knowing that the other members in the shul are going to hell. The little ones need to hear that, so they’ll stop running on the Bima. For candy it’s fine. You can run in the shul for candy. It’s fine to throw candy at the Torah, if a Bar Mitzvah boy was reading. Ufrufs also. Truth is they do such a bad job reading. I believe that the candy throwing dates back to the stoning rituals. If you can’t read the Torah well, you’re definitely not keeping the Mitzvot. And they must’ve stoned the Bar Mitzvah boys for that. They turn thirteen and they’re required in the commandments. It only takes one day of sinning to deserve a stoning. So, we hand out candy to whip at them, because we know they're going to mess up. I’m really not happy with these Sunkist jelly candies being thrown. I think it’s making our kids weak. That’s what the rabbi says. He wants us to bring back the jawbreakers to throw at the Bar Mitzvah boys. I think he’s mad because he has to teach them Bar Mitzvah lessons, and they can’t read Hebrew real well. Stone them. It well definitely help toughen them up for basketball season. We lost again to Beit Kneset HaGadol vHaMitzuyan. We’ve got to toughen our kids up, and we have to stop feeding them Sunkist jellies. Rabbi Mendelchem’s Sermon A Guten Shabbos My Kehillah. I want to welcome the new Candyman. Our dear tailor, Mr. Heimlowitz… No need to throw candy now… I know it ruins the kids’ pants, Mrs. Borstein. It’s indirect though… There’s no Mitzvah to jump on the ground for candy… Your kid was dancing on the Bima… It’s the middle of my speech… I threw candy so people would think she was up here, crawling, for a reason… Great Kippahs at the Feinblum Bat Mitzvah. A shoutout… I know. It fits great. Check it out… I took eight… The family didn’t need them. They all came to shul with their own… I don’t know why the Wisemans all wear the same Kippah. You’re not taking pictures on Shabbat. Don’t need a uniform. It’s not a Simcha… Every Shabbat is a Simcha. That’s correct. And that’s why I took extra Feinblum Kippahs. Amazing cooking at the Bat Mitzvah too. Great to have Kimmy back… The Bal Teshuva is judging me for putting down the Kippahs. Can you please stop judging everybody?! You stare at us and we feel like you think we’re heretics… I know you think we’re heretics. But we practice the traditions correctly… Upon bringing the Bikkurim (the first fruits required to be redeemed)… There were baskets... Yes. Wicker… I don’t know if they had the doilies or Bar Mitzvah Kippahs in the baskets, like we do at shul… Doilies are a very important tradition. That’s how we tell who the heretics are. Doilies and Bar Mitzvah yarmulkes that don’t fit… The Feinblum one fits. It’s for religious people. That’s how you judge people, Mr. Bal Teshuva. And they didn't have Bal Teshuvas judging them for not bringing decent fruits... Gd was judging them... (Devarim 26:11) The Torah teaches ‘And you shall “BE HAPPY” with all the good that H' has given you and your house’… Yes. You put good fruits in the wicker… Because Gd gave it to you. You don’t put the cucumbers that have been sitting in the fridge… The bottom gets spoiled. You’re going to bring H’ your spoiled stuff? Does that make Him happy?... You’re sharing your happiness with H.’ You don’t bring your bad stuff and thank Him for giving you the Simnowitz Cheesecake… It tastes disgusting. All soft and spongy. It’s a sponge cake. Not a cheesecake. You must be happy. Happiness? That is a hard demand… Yes, it says it. A commandment to be happy. You have a house, you selfish, good for nothing, entitled ingrate... You have no right to not be happy… And the children of this congregation running around the halls who have never shown an ounce of appreciation, as you have told them they deserve. Deserve? They deserve nothing… Candy at Bar Mitzvahs and Kippahs from decent Bat Mitzvahs they were invited to. They deserve that… They don’t deserve… Why is she still running up here? Usually, the dad does the carryout at this point. The quick pick up and carryout… Yes. That disturbs the sermon. But the kid is out and you can give her candy… Then bring candy next time. Stop with the Cheerios bags. They want candy... No. Take her. I have no more candy on me. Rashi speaks about Happiness meaning a time of happiness. The holidays. But the point still stands, to be happy… Ever seen yourself in shul on a Chag? It’s depressing, Bernie… I hear countless complaints from your spouses. ‘I’m slaving… the preparation’… Then help. You think that nobody helped carry the Bikurim baskets to Jerusalem? The family helped… You proclaim the Viduy… You confess because you messed up. I’ve seen you carry stuff. It spills… You definitely mess up your tithing... Everybody here has been complaining about the upcoming holidays for the past few months. Wahwahwah. The services are too long. You have services. You have a Chazan (cantor or chazin) who you have to pay for. Appreciate him… Yes, he went long again today. And it was painful. Very painful… Somebody should’ve thrown candy at him… You should be happy all the time… Because Gd gave you life. Appreciate it. Eat candy. And stop complaining about the kids’ pants… They’re in kindergarten. What are you shopping at Prada for?… You see. You don’t deserve… If you would just find joy in wicker and dried fruit... How do we learn to appreciate? How do we become happy? See the statement that we are told to declare upon bringing the 'First Fruits' to the priests, in Jerusalem. You state how our fathers were slaves in Egypt, they were tortured, H' heard our cry and brought us to Israel... Yes. There were more attacks. Remember the bad stuff. That's how you celebrate... (Devarim 26:5) ‘An Aramean (sought to) destroy my forefather’… You don’t want people to sought after you… Rashi explains that Lavan pursued Yakov. He wanted to annihilate all the Jews… There weren’t too many at the time. It was a family… Yes. We’re a family… Since Lavan wanted to do kill the Jews, and that was what he intended, H’ considered it as though he had done it (Sifrei 26:5)... Intention of evil is like doing it yourself. It’s as if you perpetuated the act (Yerushalmi Peah 1:1)… Yes. Got that from the Artscroll. I have seen the looks the Bal Teshuva… OK. Reuven. We’ll call you Reuven… Intention of evil is the act itself… You couldn’t ruin the Kippahs. You wanted to… Yakov is too great. Just like these Kippahs. They fit so well... But you intended evil. You messed up the candying of the Bar Mitzvah boy last week... It's tradition to hurt him with sweets... You perpetuate bad when you don’t realize the good you have. Lavan was looking at Yakov and what he had. He didn’t think about what he has himself. Lavan didn’t think to share his wealth… He complained. Just like Ms. Feinblum who complains about having to prepare for the holidays, and doesn't pay her dues… So how do you find happiness?... Exactly. You remember the real bad stuff. That's how you celebrate. Family fights... Remember what you have and appreciate it. Appreciate that you're able to bring gifts. Appreciate where we were as a people. How bad it was. And give a gift. I didn’t get any gifts for my birthday last year, as the congregation doesn’t care… If you would just realize that life is not good, you would love it… You expect too much from the family… Have the kids ever helped?... Exactly. Expect nothing and you will love them… I’m sure they yelled when the kids joined them on the Bikurim trip. Family trips are awful. And that makes happiness... If you just loved dried fruits and wicker... H' gave us the land of Israel. We cried out to H', when it was bad… Prayer works. Why you don’t come to shul?... You’re not grateful. I get it… When we see the land of Israel, we see Gd's gift to us. You might not know, because none of you paid to go on the shul trip last year… It’s when we feel appreciation, and give back, that is when we feel happiness... You can give back. If you gave Tzedakah (charity), you could give back… You don't give. You feel happy upon recognizing who you are, where you come from, and who has done you good. HAKARAT HATOV. Recognizing the good... You appreciate the racist country club didn't accept us for $30,000 a year... They didn't want you and you had to fight to give them money, instead of paying our shul's fees, or tuition to the day school... Mr. Silverberg, yes, the other parents are paying for their children. The school needs the $18,000 tuition to pay for the teachers' $28,000 a year salary and it is chai חי. חי is meaningful and thus we pay it. We cried out when they were beating us with whips and H' answered us and gave us Israel. Which is why we pay teachers $28,000... Yes. And paying full tuition… So, that other people can afford a Bar Mitzvah. You can’t be the only one bringing the baskets. Others need to be able to afford to plant too… Their kids are starving, because you don’t pay tuition… The bodega guy hasn’t done any of us a good. $5 for a half gallon. No. I don’t appreciate him… We feel good when we give back… Appeal… Your rabbi has given you so much, what have you given him back? There is the new rabbi fund supporting the rabbis new home for children of the rabbi. Have you shown your appreciation? Given back? Are you happy?... You should give money to the kids going to Israel appeal… They can buy dried fruits there. That’s good enough. Many people put those in wicker… You would be happy if you gave something and stopped going on vacations down south… No. Pay tuition in full and you’ll be happy... You can’t be happy when you have it good… They probably covered the wicker with a napkin on the inside... Giving teachers money could be considered Tzedakah. Good question... And stop giving to your children... No. They’re not perfect… That’s why they’re ingrateful. They think they deserve candy. Coming up on the Bima… You’re spoiling them. Giving them fruit jellies. Don't hurt the next generation and make the think they are worthy. Those selfish little... Running to kiddush and taking all the food before the adults get there. The adults also like the chocolate glazed Entenmann's. How can adults be happy when all they have are plain doughnuts? Sometimes just doughnut holes... Make them say thank you. Is the candyman the only adult that expects a little 'Todah'? Appreciation. Give back. Take yourself out of your spoiled little entitled world, and be happy... Have a give candy to Mr. Candyman Shabbat. Be happy… Fruit in wicker made them happy. We have to look back to when things were real bad… (Devarim 26:1) Can only bring Bikurim when in Israel… Lavan was trying to keep us from keeping the commandments of a people in their land… Aliyah? Anybody? Not going to happen… Lavan could’ve seen the blessing of Israel, but he didn’t. Like the whole left corner who doesn’t send their kids to Israel… After high school, they do a gap year. That’s what they do. Tradition… Then maybe signup for the shul trip next spring. (Devarim 26:9) H’ brought us from Egypt and our affliction to ‘a land flowing with milk and honey.' They even appreciated milk and honey… They appreciated what they had. It wasn’t flowing with steak… Good point. Who doesn't love honey in their cereal... Yes. Golden Grahams are the best... And when you have had it bad and you now have it good, you want to share… We're not asking you to share your post cereal milk. We know it's amazing, Frank. Thank you for... If we understand who we were, and that all we have is a gift, then we wouldn't be so selfish. Maybe you would stop complaining about the shnurrer guy, asking for charity, who has not stopped knocking on my door this week... I support your Yeshiva, Rabbi Carterberg. It is nice to have you here this Shabbat, where you cannot bother the congregants. Hit up Mr. Silverberg after Shabbat. 24 Horthorne Drive… You want to share. (Devarim 26:11) ‘then you shall rejoice… you the Levi, and the stranger…’ Rejoice with all. Share. After acknowledging Gd’s good, you share. That’s how you rejoice. You send invites. You give something to the Levis. You pay tuition… Yes. I am a Levi. And you have the chutzpah to expect a gift… You give a Levi a gift on his birthday… Joy comes from Gd’s good. You share it with Gd. And you share it with the Levi and the stranger… Then leave your doors open every once in a while. Somebody might come in. You might get a Mitzvah… The Gerwitzes didn’t share that last week… You didn’t send any invites to the Shabbat Chatan… It’s after understanding the hardship that we shall be happy. Happiness isn’t running on the Bima… Can you please get your kids off the thing… I will tell them. An Armeanean wanted to destroy your forefather… Now I have to explain what a forefather is? Who is educating these nursery schoolers??? You share candy at the Bar Mitzvah, and you make sure to hit the Bar Mitzvah boy. You send invites, so people know to come… Did Lavan share candy with Yakov?! That’s the issue. They probably fought over it… Didn’t have a good candy sharing system, which our shul is working on… Lavan probably didn't even invite Yakov to his son's Bar Mitzvah. That's what hate can do... In Israel, they share… The Bal Teshuva shares nothing… Comes to our house, eats and judges us… You share. You appreciate. You parent. You don’t let your kid run on the Bima… She’s back up here… I ran out of candy. Parent. Parent, so we can have Simcha… You give gifts. That’s what makes you happy. Knowing things are bad and giving gifts… All gifts have to be in baskets. Bikurim are about sharing and fighting. We finally have this beautifulness to give... When somebody comes to a Bar Mitzvah, you give them a yarmulke or a doily... Yes. That is an appeal for gifts… Good Shabbos. Even though you don't deserve it... I hope that brings you all joy. Mazel Tov. Rivka’s Notes on Rabbi Mendelchem’s Drasha That may have been the longest speech I ever heard. I believe there were five appeals in that speech. Each one was a twelve minute appeal. Then, the rabbi gave a message to the Bat Mitzvah girl, who got up and talked. The Israel message got lost again. Nobody is moving. They don’t need first fruits. Krogers has excellent local produce. Everybody's fine with the newest fruits when they go Krogering. Krogering is a great activity that we should do as a shul. Every event, people complain about the food. We should go to the source, so nobody can complain about it. The rabbi did the shoutouts for a couple of weeks. He was trying to be hip. He thought it would connect him more with the youth. He didn't realize the youth wasn't forty years old. The kids were trying to figure out why the rabbi wanted to yell.' He wanted to do kiruv and bring them closer to Yiddishkeit (Judaism). After seeing Reuven, the Bal Teshuva, even the rabbi was not in favor of people becoming more religious. Reuven was constantly critiquing the rabbi. Nobody knows what the low teacher salaries has to do with reparations. How the rabbi brought that into the sermon. He was again, trying to connect to much with the young congregants and all that was happening last summer. The rabbi really looked good in the Kippah. The Feinblum Bat Mitzvah Kippah really fit his head. It cupped it perfectly. He’s been looking for a decent Kippah for years. The knit ones always look they’re falling off him. They don’t cup on the sides. I think people were listening to the sermon more this week, because they weren’t thinking about when the rabbi’s yarmulke is going to fall. Many of the interruptions have been because of fallen Kippahs in the middle of a rant of fervor, or people worrying the rabbi’s Kippah will fall off. The rabbi really went off on the congregants who don’t share. The next week, he forced the Felsenblums to have an open house. Their house is huge and he insisted they are not deserving of it if they don’t share it. They didn’t go for starting an orphanage in their home because they have a lot of money. I am with the rabbi. An orphanage would be right. I think only rich people should be sharing their stuff. They should be bringing it to Israel and sharing all of it. I asked the rabbi and he said poor people have to give Tzedakah too. That wasn't very woke of him. I don't know how he's going to give that message over in a sermon to the youth. People were worried they couldn’t use their money anymore, as they weren’t going to be bringing baskets to Jerusalem. The rabbi said that as long as they give money to the shul, they're fine. People also stopped complaining about holiday preparation, which caused a lot of family fights. He really did call them ingrates. I was so happy to see that. The kids all think they deserve candy. They get that from their parents that complain about Kiddish, and never donate the Kiddish. That’s a whole other issue right there. They take all the Entenmann’s and complain. Then you buy the Stella D'oro Swiss Fudges. Some of the entitled suggested a Ninja Warrior course in the shul's halls, so that their children can love Judaism. If it’s a tradition, they’re not ingrateful. The rabbi explained, if you spend 200k on a wedding, that’s not a waste, because it’s a Mitzvah. As long as you’re sharing. If you eat the 600 plates of halibut yourself, that’s not a Mitzvah. Monty’s International Gift Wicker pulled in tons of money from our congregants after the rabbi’s speech. The congregants sent a lot of baskets to Israel. The gift basket idea really killed it for the Bar and Bat Mitzvah kids last year. The kids just wanted gifts. With the wicker, they got a lot of dried fruit. They couldn’t appreciate the gifts or share, as none of their friends wanted dried prunes. Their friends wanted candy. I think all were not grateful about the apricots. The Bal Teshuva got in a big lesson this week, from the rabbi. Appreciative? He appreciates nothing. He comes to our homes, eats and tells us we didn’t wash right. Somebody's got to do something about Reuven or he's not going to get anymore Shabbat meals. The tailor taking on the Candyman position is the smartest business move I have ever seen. He even got his phone number printed on the candies. The complaint about the kids’ pants turned into the congregation complaining about the rabbi saying that kids should go to Israel. There was a group in the shul that wanted to get the rabbi fired for trying to separate families. The Mitzvah of Aliyah was not discussed for the next few months. The rabbi was too scared. He already got in trouble for the three families that moved four years ago. Their love of Israel was hated by the congregation. And those families made up thirteen members. The rabbi was blamed for losing them. The give candy to the candyman appeal taught the kids to give back. But then the candyman gave the kids the candies back. It was a cycle of disturbance throughout the service. Kids were making two lines to the candyman. One to give and one to take. The candyman refused to give though. He insisted on throwing the candies on the ground. The Blog Tags Widget will appear here on the published site.
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How these work, I don’t know. I appreciate all the healthy cookies and chips... I put on a few pounds eating a lot of healthy. It seems that too many healthy peanut butter cups will also get you fat. False advertisement.
![]() David Kilimnick - Israel's "Father of Anglo Comedy" (JPost) is not touring with his Israel solidarity show. Bring David to your community, college campus, shul, home, to share laughs of Jewish unity... 585-738-9233 [email protected]
It’s tradition to eat more fruit on Tu BShvat, to praise Gd for his creation and to walk around with an upset stomach.
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8/27/2021
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