Sermons of Rebuke III: Miketz

by Rivka Schwartz

Announcements
Next year, the board will not host the shul Chanukah party. As we have seen, they truly ruin a good time.
We will be sure the president doesn’t show up, so everybody can enjoy themselves. We are sorry that the president thought that congregants should pay dues. And it was a Chutzpah to ask people to pay the suggested donation.  The president does not understand community. He does not understand the importance of people not having to pay. He doesn't understand what enjoyment of membership truly is. His understanding of ‘membership’ is off. Our members should not have to feel like they should pay membership dues.
 
The Bergstein Bat Mitzvah is next week. Daniella Bergstein’s parents have stated that they won’t host a Kiddish, as they want to enjoy their daughter's Bat Mitzvah. And they will not enjoy if they have to pay for anything.
 
The rabbi will be giving a class on when to give money to Shnurers. Topics addressed include: If the Shnurer has a credit card machine. If a Shnurer tells you they have three kids and five of them are getting married. If the Shnurer has more money than you, can you charge the Shnurer and consider that your Tzedakah.
 
The shul does not need your shrubs that you don’t want. Your trash cannot be brought to the shul... We beg.

Rabbi Mendelchem's Drasha Excerpts
Shabbat Shalom My People...

(Bereishit 41:15-16) Paroh asks Yosef to interpret his dreams and Yosef responds, ‘This is beyond me. H’ will answer the welfare of Paroh.’ And our Gabai thinks he knows the correct traditions for the shul... It's beyond you. Accept it. That's why you got gifts the kids didn't want. You took it into your own hands.
He thinks that kids want Silly Putty for Chanukah... It’s not a gift Yankel. One of the kids had a dream he would get a really bad gift for Chanukah and it came true... Silly Putty?! You literally interpreted his dream... They wanted a drone. Instead. They got seven plastic eggs with goo. You are Paroh. And it’s beyond you... Well. To them, you're Paroh. You give Paroh gifts.

The problem is the ego on our shul’s board. Yosef says the interpretation is up to H’. And our board make decisions as to how to decorate the sanctuary... Will we ever get rid of the community quilt... You put a blanket over the ark... It’s a quilt. A quilt is a blanket. I had a dream that the Aron, the ark, would be covered in something totally wrong...
I had a dream people wouldn’t pay dues. And it happened. I also had a dream that seven little bushes would be dropped off at the shul, so that people wouldn’t have to call sanitation to dispose of their trees... Yes. It came true. The trees by the back door, are not planted into the blacktop. They're trash that...

The word for 'welfare' used is 'Shalom'... Paroh's welfare is seen to once his dreams are interpreted. When you know something bad is going to happen, it brings peace to you. If I would’ve known I would have the curse of dealing with a board, I would be at peace...

‘This is beyond me...’ I have heard this from every member of the congregation. Every time you don't want to help. How many people said this when they didn't want to help fry the latkes for the Chanukah party... But Yosef still helped. Stop with excuses... When I say 'this is beyond me,' I am saying that I don't understand a thing that is happening in this congregation. Because the people here are messed up...
It's not beyond you to help... H' can make latkes. But you can help. You can be a catalyst.

You’re literally a party pooper. Our president is a pooper... You were asking people to pay their dues at the party...
Of course they won’t pay for the Chanukah party. That’s why they come to shul. To not have to pay for anything and for their kids to enjoy a bouncy house...

If you gave them decent gifts on Chanukah, they wouldn't be Shnuring... Yes. Shnurers have credit cards nowadays. Ever done business. You need a credit car machine.

We don't need a nursery. We're not birthing kids here... A nursery school, we need... Little shrubbery doesn't need a school at our shul...

(41:25) As Yosef tells Paroh, ‘The dream of Paroh is one dream...’ Everything in this shul is one bad incident. One messed up situation... One bad dream.

If you would just see my wisdom, you would let me get rid of the Gabai and the president.

Rivka's Rundown
The community quilt is still there. The Schwartzs asked for the quilt, so their kid could get good sleep. They like the size of the Aron cover for the king size bed they got their kid.

The rabbi just wanted to go off on the Gabai for messing up the Mishebeyrach. Somebody said ‘for the rabbi too,’ and the Gabai just said 'HaRav' without his name. You bless the rabbi correctly or he will sermonize about you.
The Gabai does make too many decisions. If he just let H' call people up to the Torah, nobody would be mad at him..

The rabbi is giving a required class on gift giving this coming Kislev. He is also going to teach gift giving as part of the required education in the conversion course. He said that decent gifts is a prerequisite for Shalom. Gift giving and getting rid of the shul president.

I don't believe we've had a shul program without a bouncy house in twelve years. People come to shul for the bouncy house. If they had got the bouncy Bima, you would have more people in shul on Shabbat. A bouncy Bima and Kiddish. That would draw people.

The rabbi wrote the announcement about the shul board ruining a good time.
The president asking people to pay is a real downer. Nobody in our shul enjoys anything if it’s not for free. It doesn't take much to figure that out. Chabad figured that out.
Any congregant that pays for anything does not smile. When they pay for anything, they're mad. I have never seen a happy face at a family party. If you’ve ever seen our congregants hosting their family for a Bar Mitzvah, you would see a bunch of smug angry faces on the Baalei Simcha. The only time they smile is when they get a check. If they give a gift that is not cash to their child, depression sets in.
All the members who didn't pay dues voted to get rid of the president.

And the Bergsteins won't pay for a Kiddish. We have the cheapest membership.

The Shnurers are coming around with credit card machines now. Like they’re selling me something. These Shnurers should be paying dues. They are pulling in so much.
They should Shnur from our members and pay dues for them. That would be a way to finally get membership paid for.
It's a scam. No idea what they're collecting for. They have a picture of a cousin in Israel and a credit card machine on their wrist. If they have that, the rabbi said it's legitimate. They're Frum Shnurers.

The guy dropped off a whole nursery at the shul. Not kids. It was an orchard. They cut it and brought it to the shul and dropped it off. They couldn’t leave it on their front lawn for the town to take it. They just left it in back of shul.
They had to 'beg' in the announcements. They've told people the shul is not the place for their garbage, countless times. They understand people will do it anyways. The rabbi had to host a prayer service to beseech Gd for people to stop dropping off their trash at shul. I believe it was a donation of Chanukah bushes from one of the heretics in the shul.