Sermons of Rebuke II: VaYechi

by Rivka Schwartz

Announcements
There are many new volunteer opportunities. There's always volunteer opportunities in our shul. The board is always willing to let people do work and not pay them. That is a direct quote of our rabbi who does not get paid enough. 'Does not get paid enough' is also a direct quote.

Shlomo wasn't invited to the shul dinner. He is angry, as his brother is being honored. He felt he should know about his family being honored, and nobody told him. He is angry and he is enjoying it. Be prepared. If you have a conversation with Shlomo, he's going to complain about the committee and blame the shul for him not being at his brother's affair.

Shul dinner will take place next week. Now Shlomo knows, if he would like to cancel his business trip.
Don't miss out on the evening to not miss. The dinner only costs two hundred seventy five dollars a plate. And you get schnitzel.

The rabbi will keep giving long sermons, cause you people are annoying.

The Acts of Kindness of the Week: Rabbi said there were none, as the people in our shul are not kind, and he wants a raise.

Rabbi Mendelchem's Sermon Excerpts
Shabbat Shalom My Children...
On his deathbed, Yakove says to Yosef, (Bereishit 47:29) ‘And do with me kindness and truth- please don’t bury me in Egypt.’ Don’t bury me in Topeka. Please. I beg. I do not want to see congregants after I am dead. I see what people do to the rebbes... My grave is going to have a footstone reading ‘at rest,’ so you don’t bother me with questions and requests...
They don't sell deathbeds. It's not a type of bed. Nobody would buy deathbeds. You can't market a bed that brings death... Even if family thought it was a very comfortable bed, no sick person would want to hear that their family bought them the deathbed... Even if it has cotton from Giza.
 
Chesed and Emet. Kindness and Truth. Rashi explains that ‘kindness done for those who have died is kindness of truth, as one is not looking for payment of remuneration.’ My job is kindness of truth. The amount I get paid…
An act of kindness would be to pay me as your rabbi, and not bother me with questions all the time…

You do kindness to be kind. Do I have to explain this.... Not for a name. Every act any member has ever done has been to get something. Why do you think we have a plaque on the ark. It reads ‘The Simkawitz Family’… It should read ‘Gd.’ Donated by Gd. The Torah was donated by the Holy One...
 
You all want. You do stuff to be popular… You don’t play baseball because you’re not good at it...
You volunteer, you want to get paid… That’s not volunteering. If you get paid, it’s not volunteering... Even if other people wanted you to do it. If they pay you.
The difference between volunteering and working is payment... I will not pay you to come to Minyin.
 
You gave Tzedakah. You want a plaque.
Your acts of kindness are pathetic… But if they don’t know. Exactly. You visit the sick, it doesn’t need a community wide announcement in the newspaper… Or the bulletin… What are these announcements of people being useful… Let’s clap for them. We will take a moment now to applaud everybody in the shul who has ever helped, so they finally can get the credit they deserve... I'm done.
 
None of you do true kindness. You all want something...

Shlomo has a right to be mad… The board is messed up…
Chesed would be telling Shlomo his family is being honored… An email is not enough. Have you seen your emails??? They have eighty announcements... If you had one announcement a week that people cared about... Yes. That would also be Chesed... Why don't you volunteer to make less announcements and let people Know what is important, like when their family is being honored...

Rivka's Rundown
The rabbi got rid of the acts of kindness weekly announcement, as people were just doing the kindness for the reputation. One congregant picked up an old person’s bags at the supermarket and took a selfie. Posted the selfie and wrote, ‘I am helping,’ and everybody liked it.
 
Why did we have an Acts of Kindness announcement? The board felt it would encourage people to help. They heard it works for third graders.
The thing that bothered me the most was the acts of kindness song. 'You're all good. You're all kind. Will you be mine.'
 
The deathbed conversation continued, and Pinker's Mattresses started selling The Deathbed. It was marketed as, 'This bed is so comfortable, you'll never want to get out of it.'

A good half hour discussion was had in the middle of the sermon as to what constitutes volunteering. The rabbi made it clear that anything Bernie does is not volunteering. The rabbi said that whatever Bernie does is annoying and it gets in the way. Many congregants argued that getting in the way is volunteering. And many congregants started volunteering to get in the way. Now, there are thirty Kiddish volunteers, and they all get in the way.
To note, Bernie was in the acts of kindness song.

The emails are too much. Shlomo is right. You have to confirm the person saw it.
Shlomo is loving it. He’s milking it. It is a very rare occurrence that somebody has the right to complain and is totally correct. He brings it up everywhere. We were at the kid’s indoor soccer game and he started going off on how he knew about it because the coach called him, unlike the shul. He also said he will be donating money to the coach, and he’ll start Davening at soccer games.
Shlomo will be using this complaint for the next couple of years. And he will probably use it to get out of paying his dues.