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The new sign at shul will be electric. We want to thank Freddie’s Barbershop for donating it. The shul will be receiving $1,000 a month for the new flashing neon sign out front, saying ‘Freddie’s Barbershop and Ribs with Congregation Beis Emes uSefilah.’ We pray it leads to more advertisement, and Felvel has a Refuah Sheleyma (full recovery).
There's lot of space in shul. Above the left women’s section we have more room for adverts, between the stained glass. We'll be filling that out. If you want to save money on your High Holiday seats, we'll place adverts at your chair, next to the Yizkur appeal cards. Micky's garage is sponsoring the adverts for better deals on tune ups.
The finger licking isn't going to stop. We understand the older people can't turn pages without saliva and chaching. As discussed in the page turning workshop, the shul rule is that you can only lick fingers on your left hand. Your right hand must be available for clean handshakes. The shul will also provide volunteers to turn pages for the elderly.
We also ask that people keep chaching to a minimum, in the middle of the cantor's repetition.
Rabbi Mendelchem’s Sermon Excerpts
Shabbat Shalom My Flock…
(Bamidbar 25:10-11) H' tells Moshe that Pinchas 'turned My anger away from the children of Israel by his avenging My vengeance among them...' There's anger in this shul. A lot of anger. Nobody avenges for the rabbi... Then you would've kicked out the back left section...
Nobody fought for Simchi's seat. It's his Makom Kavuah... It's his regular seat. You just let Bernie go over and sit there... I know he's old. But you don't do things in shul that are wrong... Like Zimri taking Cazbi in front of the congregation to do whatever. Taking somebody's seat is also wrong... Simchi wasn't mad??? He took one of the plastic chairs and threw it... I'm not saying anger is right. But this congregation can...
How many times you bring on anger. The leaving the paper towel by the sink... You throw it in the garbage... The garbage is right there. Anger... It's not a basketball game. If you miss, you pick it up and put it in... You're so bad at sports. The shul softball team can't even throw to first right. You think you're going to hit a paper towel shot...
indy's hat... It's too big. Women can't see. Even if nobody steals their seats, they can't see...
Pinchas killed them and the plague stopped. He stabbed them. Jabbed them a bunch of times. Blood. Death... Then don't take people's chairs. Lesson learned... Sometimes revenge must be had to educate a people. You take the towel and throw it at them. Then say, 'You don't leave towels by the sink. It offends God...'
The Anim Zmirot fiasco was one that needed somebody to take a stand. Fights all the time... I understand that the kids are in preschool. Pulling the ark curtain causes a lot of violence. We need people to take a step in and be there to protect the community... You can get involved in a four year old fight. It's fine. A lot of scratching. Danger. Stranger danger... When they see the grandkids visiting for the summer, that they never met, they get more violent...
'So that I didn't destroy the children of Israel'... Sticking up for God, stops the plague. Pinchas stopped the plague, because he fought against the immorality. He defended the honor of the community and the Tabernacle... The Kiddish fight of '97. I was there. Nobody stuck up for Marina and Milt... Kiddishes with nothing but Kichel. And then you have the Simcha hall. Same tablecloths... You call it sticking up for Pinny, when you set him up with these girls from Florida. They're two thousand miles away... Why are you listening to the Gabai? There is a rabbi, with an 'r' and a Gabai with a 'g'... Gabai means he's volunteering. We have to stop listening to volunteers... Paper towels all over the sink.
And that's what led to the destruction of the shul... Would H' destroy this shul?
I am not saying that people should hurt the Gabai. I am just saying that the Gabai, the president... People have to stand up to them... Otherwise, we get stuck with messed up food cupboards and mucus all over the pages.
Rashi likens jealousy to revenge... Pinchas took Gd's revenge by killing Zimri and Cazbi... Revenge on behalf of others can be fine... Revenge isn't allowed, when you're taking revenge for the Danish you didn't get.
It’s wrong when it’s your revenge. When it’s your jealousy, that’s wrong. When it’s for somebody else, it’s right. You get that Danish… There was a plague. Somebody had to do something. Stabbing people is not supported by the shul’s board. I have asked them many times, to see if there was a loophole...
Sometimes you have to take a step up, on behalf of a weak congregation… Very weak. Can’t even hit a baseball. Summer league has been pathetic again... Of course they all think we can't get a Minyin on Shabbis. Our congregants can't even walk the bases...
(Bamidbar 25:12) 'I hereby give him My covenant of peace.' You get a covenant of peace if you fight against evil. Fighting evil, Pinchas receives God's covenant of peace. And I fight Bernie every day...
It’s wrong when it’s your revenge. When you throw paper towels at people for others, it's the right thing to do.
I have been fighting against salivating on Siddurs for the past many years. I have lost the battles with Bernie and Merv. I understand they have to lick their fingers... For the next generation, I pray there will be peace and Siddurs that are not disgusting, with the look of cigar mucus on them.
You stick up for other people... Helping other people is a form of sticking up for them. A food pantry can help the poor. That's a Pinchas move. Sticking up for the poor.... A pantry that holds more than a Twizzler…
A decent food pantry brings peace. Stops destruction... A pantry for other people. A pantry that holds more than a Twizzler… I don’t think Pinchas would’ve held up a convenience store… He would’ve left stuff in the pantry.
And that stops destruction… Destruction of the Temple is because of Bernie.
If we stop the fights among the kids. If we stop taking people's chairs. If we stop people from throwing paper towels, who aren't athletes, and can't hit a garbage can, we can bring peace to our shul, and stop the destruction...
And we must advertise the shul’s pantry better… The shul doesn’t need advertisements. The shul needs to let people know where the pantry is...
The banner above the left women’s section. Why do we have a sign saying ‘Kohl’s is good for all Jews’?... They didn’t have that in the Beit Hamikdash, Bernie. The shul is a small Temple…
I saw the downfall of the shul when I didn't see the old shul signage anymore, and I walked in today to the neon club lighting of ‘Freddie’s Barbershop and Ribs with Congregation Beis Emes uSefilah.’
I hate to say this, but Simchi has anger issues.
How the rabbi compared Zimri violating H' and Israel to Bernie sitting down because he's tired is hard to understand.
He blamed Bernie for the destruction of the Temple, two thousand years ago.
The rabbi did bring up counting the congregants, to make sure we have enough people to go to war. I don't know where that came from. Though, it was a very meaningful food pantry point. I also have no idea how the pantry is going to help the soldiers going out to war.
I don’t think the rabbi was promoting violence over chairs, or people taking too much pastry at Kiddish. I am not sure. He is definitely thinking about taking action about mucus on Siddurs.
There is a lot of violence by the Anim Zmirot prayer at the end of services, where we let the kids go up to open the ark. The preschoolers get very violent over their honors. It's similar to the fights started over Aliyahs (getting called to the Torah) in the early 2000s. The police had to escort the Gabai out, for his safety, when one congregant turned the Chumash cover into a shank and chased him, after the congregant didn't get the Levite Aliyah. The congregant was allowed back, as he explained that the other guy didn't deserve the Aliyah, just because he doesn't show up to shul very often. The congregant with the shank Chumash cover was allowed back, as he had a good point, and pays his dues on time. The other guy who got the Aliyah is not a wealthy Levite. The board voted in favor of chasing the Gabai with a Chumash shank. They said it would've been fine to chase the Chazin as well, as he sang too many tunes that Shabbat, and services lasted way too long.
After Shabbat, the rabbi took a sledge hammer and knocked down the sign in the front of the shul. The board did not give the OK on it, and many were mad, as they're fans of Freddie's Barbershop. They did agree that having pictures of the non-kosher ribs on the sign of the shul wasn't right, even if it did draw more people to shul.
The next shul dinner the rabbi is slated to receive the shul's covenant of peace.
The rabbi also has a problem with the signage in the shul for local businesses. He wants to bring back Bingo, as he feels that is more proper way to raise money. As he said, 'Bingo keeps people away from the casinos, and it brings people to our shul who pay for something.'
I believe the rabbi has an issue with every decision the board has ever made.
Nobody takes a step up and sticks up for anybody in the shul. The Kiddish fight, where the family ganged up on the non-drunk guy. It was messed up. Nobody stepped in. Yankel pulling Tzachi's hair at the ark, people were scared of Yankel. He's a four year old bully. Real bad at sports. People are even scared to step up to the plate. Nobody takes a step up with anything in our shul. Only the rabbi. He is the only one with the covenant of peace.
The whole sermon, there was chaching coming from the right side of the shul. Nobody said a thing. Nobody stuck up for the rabbi. I don't know how you stop them from chaching. I don't think Pinchas would stab them. I believe that back in the times of the Tabernacle, he would've given them some lozenges.
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They wanted to clean the silver on the Torah. Instead, they Polished it.
You get it? People from Poland are Polish. They should‘ve polished the silver. Nobody knows what it means. Maybe put a Polish person on it. If you're Polish, we do not mean to offend you. At the Kibbitzer, we are sure that many Polish know how to polish very well.
The Jerusalem Shofar carrying bag and water bottle. Perfect for when you need to blow the Shofar on a Tiyul. (saying something about a Shofar on a hike was where our creativity on this joke came to a halt)