Sermons of Rebuke II: Mishpatim

by Rivka Schwartz

Announcements
We need people for a Minyin. It's called a quorum. We need people for that. Without people, you don't have a quorum. That's why it's called a quorum.
The rabbi said that the message should be to show up to shul. The reason? It's shul. Show up.
 
Board elected was decided. No opponents. Penina and Saul were voted in. If somebody can find Penina and Saul and let them know they were voted in, that would be appreciated. The office can't find them.
Please note, the office was able to find them. And then, right after the elections, they have not been able to be contacted. We don't know why. But please help us find them.
 
Slavery in our community must stop. We've heard mothers in our community saying they're slaving in the kitchen. Kitchen slavery is not right. The rabbi is announcing that every home must have a crockpot. Ovens and timers are a form of slavery.
 
Next week's class is titled 'Jewish Men are Not Handy and Their Wives Don't Like That.' We will teach Jewish men how to turn a screwdriver without calling somebody. The class on hammers will be a four part series, with handymen, who know how to use their hands.
 
Rabbi Mendelchem’s Sermon Excerpts
Shabbat Shalom My Pupils...

(Shemot 21:6) If the slave wants to stay 'his master shall bring him... to the door or the doorpost and his master shall bore through his ear with an awl...' I did not want to stay as rabbi of this shul. Next Shmitah, I am out... I pierced my tongue before I became religious...
You don't pierce with a nail unless if it's been sanitized. Safety comes first when hacking through a slave's ear...

It's better to pierce in a doorpost, Then you can use the hole for a Mezuzah. You pierce in the door, it's an eyesore... Nobody measures their kids on the door itself. The doorpost...
No. Piercings are not supported for men... They didn't pierce the ear and have guys walking around with lintels in their ears. Jambs were not a style...
No. You can't hit people. You can only pierce a hole with an awl in the ear of your slave... Slavery is wrong... I get it. It's still wrong...
Slaves were fashionable.

Why pierce the ear? Rashi teaches it's the ear that heard at Har Sina that 'to Me Bnei Yisrael are servants.' We should be serving Gd... Rabbi Yochanan's teaching of the ear that said to not steal, is the other reason given... And here he wants to stay for his wife and children? What parent in this shul wouldn't run away if they could?... You don't seem to care. Your kids run all over the halls...
He was sold into slavery because he stole. I can't tell you how many Aliyahs the Gabai has stolen from...

Even if your wife has pierced ears, she should not be slaving over lasagna. It's wrong. No woman should have to open an oven to see if something is good... Neither should men have to slave in kitchens. It's enough.
Rashi teaches in the name of Rabbi Shimon that it's the door jambs that are the witness in Mitzrayim that we should be servants to Gd and not servants to servants, when H' passed over our homes... If I had a witness for how messed up the board is... That's why we can't get board members to serve more than one term. It's the only Mitzvah they keep. No more than one term... But you don't show up to shul. So, you're not serving Gd... You're here today. That's not showing up to shul.
Minyin. Yes. It's every day... It’s a Mitzvah... This is a shul. That's why we have a shul... No. It's not for Challah baking. It's not for potluck dinners... Love the crocheting club. But it's for Minyin. That's why we have shul...
You can’t have a Minyin without people… The rabbi can’t do everything by himself. I know you hired me and I get paid. But I can't count myself as more than one person... You can't pay somebody to be the whole Minyin. Money doesn't cover... You don't even pay your dues. Why are we talking about money...

Of course He passed over homes, if it was this community with its bad construction... H’ would’ve passed over the homes of our members because of how poorly they’re constructed. Worst architecture I have ever seen. No pride...

Even if you were a slave, you couldn't build a door... That's pathetic. You'd have to call a handyman. A man with hands… They’re not slaves. They’re men with hands. Do you even have hands?... You can hire somebody to work on your home. It looks messed up right now... It's not slavery to pay. Which is why you should all pay your dues.
You would not hit the nail with a hammer. You'd miss the nail. That's why we're having a class... No. They didn't higher handymen to pierce the ears with an awl.
 
There are rules. Mishpatim. Laws... Minyin. Show up.

Rivka’s Rundown
Now. Asides from the crocheting and Challah baking classes, we have wood-shop classes in shul.
 
The rabbi having to explain slavery is wrong took a long time. Around twenty minute conversation. Many members don't like to pay their contractors on time.
After the slavery discussion, the women now want contractors to cook dinner. They're saying that if their men need to hire somebody to change a light, they should get lasagna made too.
Nobody showed up to Challah baking this week, due to the rabbi's message of it being slavery.
Why should their men allowed to be incapable?! As a woman, I can tell you, it's a turnoff when you hear that a congregant had a heart-attack because he had to change a bulb with a screwdriver. And it was too much for him.
The women are truly turned off by the men in our shul. The rabbi is correct. They're men without hands. Non-handymen.
 
The discussion of Minyin being important to shul was had. That was another half hour of Torah explanation of how a quorum means more than one. The congregants were mad that they're paying the rabbi and he can't do the Minyin.
That was a strongly worded announcement. ‘It’s shul. Show up.’ I guess people haven’t been showing up.
The membership is happy. Now they know they're doing something wrong. Now people understand why we have a shul. To blame the rabbi.

The rabbi tried to say he was not a Baal Teshuva, though he became more religious. He just hates Baal Teshuvas.
 
Penina and Saul ran. Once they heard that somebody delegated them to the board, they ran. They’re now off the grid.
Voting in people without their knowing is the new form of elections in our shul. It works. It's the only way to get people onto the board. I think its this new generation. These kids nowadays don't know how to sit in a meeting where nothing is happening. I'm afraid for the future of boards and committees.
Last year they tried having people nominate themselves. We went half a year without a board. At least the rabbi said it wasn't a real board. He hates the board more than Baal Teshuvas. Now, the office nominates and delegates and then they tell the people.