Sermons of Rebuke II: Chayei Sarah

by Rivka Schwartz

Announcements
No Simchas this week. B”H. Everybody should show up for Kiddish an extra half hour early. Being we don't have to deal with Bar Mitzvah kids, the Torah reading will be read at a normal speed. There will also be no Hosafot and no Mishebeyrachs. And you don’t have to pretend like you are happy for the Balei Simcha, and that you love waiting for them.
 
The shul is now focusing on the future. That means kids. Not old people. All senior members should still pay their dues and whatever they pledged. Rebranding is the goal. And that means trying to forget that old people come here.
Along with getting rid of as many congregants as we can, we’re thinking of a new name for the shul. Any ideas for a new name from people who are under eighty will be appreciated. We don’t want to call the shul Thelma. To reiterate, the seniors should still give donations.
 
Congregants need to smile. Seeing the members of the congregation is more depressing than hearing our Chazin lead Musaf.
 
Seat fights must stop. The post-holiday seats are back to normal, and we’re back to the regular numbers of twelve percent capacity. You can all take your seats back that the board stole from you for the Chagim.
 
Rabbi Mendelchem’s Sermon Excerpts
Shabbat Shalom My Pupils...
No Simchas this week. We’re going to talk about death.
Maybe you'll smile if we talk about death... Well nobody smiled at Ephraim's Bar Mitzvah...
 
Avraham honors the life of Sarah. Chayei Sarah... Honoring death is honoring life. And you won't even pay for a plaque...
 
You guys don’t honor the shul... The shul's history. That's its life... Yes. Nobody sponsoring Kiddish is the life of the shul. Tradition...
The shul has a history… Your parents and grandparents are part of it. Family that has passed away… I understand the board wants to not focus on death. This is the first shul board I have ever met that doesn’t understand fundraising…
They want to rebrand. How about we rebrand the board and get rid of the president… It’s fine. I have another three years on my contract… The president before you thought it would be a good idea to have a rabbi for more than one year. A rabbi that lasts. Tradition… Yes. A rabbi that understands history and family...
You don’t rebrand Judaism... You want to rebrand the shul as a jungle gym.
Let’s rebrand with smiles...
You’re unhappy all the time. Even when you are happy, you're not happy… That’s how you look. The back left is the darkness in our lives… You bring darkness to my life…
It’s Shabbis. Oneg. Delight. And then I see the back left. Rebranding are shul as darkness...
 
It’s dark to change people’s seats for the holidays… The board brings darkness to our lives. They take away tradition and bring darkness. When you take away people’s seats it’s dark. You're taking away their connection to the past... You might as well give them candy and let them know they can go home... You want the shul to be rebranded as Halloween...
 
People need seats. They need their chairs. Their grandparents had chairs.
 
It’s about warmth and tradition. That takes commitment…
Avraham doesn’t take the field from Efron. He wants ownership of MaArat HaMachpela. Commitment. He wants to make sure that future generations connect with their ancestors, unlike the board who wants the future generations to connect Hot Tamales... You can connect to Hot Tamales and your ancestors…
That's tradition. Nobody looks back to the history of their children to learn from how they made it to the blue math-book in first grade... Yes. I was proud of myself for making it past the red math-book, but that's not tradition... That's not tradition, Richard...
Smiles are tradition... They smiled. The last generation smiled. That's why people came to shul... No. They don’t like being around you. The lights went off above you. That’s how dark your area of the shul is… The kids smile because of the candies... Then start giving out candy to the back left of the shul...
Ownership. To purchase it… Shul is about tradition… People give money for family members who passed. Take ownership… It shows you care and you want to connect. Give your rabbi a raise...

(Bereishit 23:11) ‘Just if you will listen to me. I give the price of the field and I will bury my dead there.’ If the board would ever listen...
Let’s see if the board listens and stops making decisions… This way we can honor the shul. If we got rid of the board, we would honor the shul, as Avraham honored Sarah.
Avraham could convince Efron to raise money off death. That he can make good money off of Jewish ancestors passing. I can’t convince the board… It would be nice if the board understood the Torah.
 
You have to do stuff yourself. That's why I do everything for this place... You can't depend on a board. The board of Chevron wasn't easy to deal with either.
 
The shul has a history… I don’t know what it is. But it’s ours. It’s a history. We have to take ownership of it. Commitment… I know none of you will volunteer. You never help. But that is part of our tradition…
We can’t let other people do what is ours. We can’t have other people smile for us. We can't ask other people to do stuff and say they can't help. We must ask our members... They won't help. But that's tradition. We take ownership of not being helpful...
 
As Rashi says, Avraham is saying ‘I can’t do this.’ I can’t let other people do my responsibilities. I can’t take a field for the one that I love. I have to pay for it… Yes. His kids were mad. That was part of their Yerusha (inheritance).
 
The only thing that the congregants do take ownership of is armrests… You will fight with your elbows all day. 
You take people’s seats on the High Holidays... You moved forward during Davening Simcha. You were in the Keter plastic chair section... You did not pay for cushioned seats...
 
How do you deal with death?
When you get rid of the history of the shul, you’re killing it
If somebody could pay the shul’s electric bill… It’s dark in that area of the shul… If you focused on the seniors, there would be money for electric bills. There would be more light. If you focused on people’s ancestors… They pay for tradition. That means family members that passed... You're all sad over here because you don't focus on old people and death...
Even Richard and Frank, with all their darkness, would give money for family who has gone...
We’re doing a shul trip to Maarat HaMachpelah…
 
Rivka’s Rundown
I like how the rabbi brought up death. We’re always focused on Simchas and celebrations. We need to focus more on death in the congregation. The rabbi is right. If we focused on death more, we'd be happier.
The shul also needs money. Death is the way to get it. The new Yizkur books are messed up. They don’t have a death feel to them. That’s why nobody gave donations on Yom Kippur. Cards weren’t flipped. I want to write on the Yizkur cards, ‘Flip a lot of money. Your family member died.’
 
Nobody in the shul helps. The tradition of our shul is to say 'no.' People ask you to help and you tell them 'I can't.' We have to keep that tradition going. It's how we connect with our ancestors.

People came to shul because of the non-Simcha happiness. The not having to pretend like you’re happy for the people celebrating was the sale. And some of the congregants were even smiling.
Kiddish was bad though. Nobody took that part into account. They came for a a quick Davening and good Kiddish. Because there was no party, Kiddish was Kichel. With Bar and Bat Mitzvahs you at least know they’ll have some cake with frosting on it. Kids don’t eat Kichel. Once they've stopped teething, they don't eat Kichel anymore.
 
Richard really does look unhappy. His face has the look of a mourner.
I think the back left of the sanctuary took the ‘you bring darkness to my life’ as a complement. The men in the back left seemed flattered.
 
A lot of seat anger in the shul. I can't blame them. The board is rebranding and taking their seats. They've had the seats for fifty years and the board decided that kids are more important than ensuring people get their seats for Yom Kippur.
 
The rabbi wrote a book and handed it to everybody. It was about a history. It was called Tradition: Members Don't Help. It then went on to describe how the board messed up tradition, with new ideas like getting involved. And that killed the shul.
The idea of tradition and people coming to shul to connect with tradition doesn’t hit the board.
The names the board came up with for the shul's rebrand: Beit Knesset People. The Kinderlach Congregation. Teen Minyin. Pillar of No Old People Congregation. Beis No Grandparents. Anshei Donations Are More Important Than Minyin.

The rabbi did a shul trip to Maarat HaMachpelah. I think it was a vacation for him. It was just him and his family that went. The rabbi was happy

The reason why nobody smiles is they all think about life. Their lives are depressing. Look at our congregants. Can't even cook a decent kugel. If they thought about death more, they would be happier.
They don't honor death. Congregants won't pay for a plaques. They say the plaques are too expensive. Was four hundred shekels too much for Avraham?
At least the rabbi is focusing on old dead people. He's putting up the fight against the board and their new branding. As of right now, the board made it clear they hate old people who don't have a lot of money. The rabbi is thus only focusing on wealthy older people. The Finkelmans, a wealthy eighty year old couple, paid for his trip to Israel.
Speaking about liking death, the rabbi seemed to love Maarat HaMachpelah. He hung a great picture of him and his family happy and smiling at the burial site of our forefathers and mothers.