Sermons of Rebuke II: Achrei Mot

by Rivka Schwartz

Announcements
The Israel Parade has been cancelled due to too many Jews being together. According to our city council, it's illegal to celebrate Israel. The council said Jews being happy and anti-Semitism wasn't the reason. To quote the mayor, 'Due to corona, we don't want to see Jews on the streets.'

Yizkur this Pesach did not raise enough money. The Yizkur appeal didn't pull in the money we were expecting. Families don't care about the deceased as much anymore. The board decided that the shul needs to make more money off death.
If the shul doesn't pull more funds with the appeal on the High Holidays we may start skipping Yizkur.
The shul dinner doesn't pull enough money, so it's been decided to focus our fundraising on plaques and Shivas. Rewarding death with is medallions form is a good focus . After much discussion, the board voted to not ask for past payments of unpaid dues at people's Shivas.
 
To celebrate Israel, this Yom HaAtzmaut we will host a vote. Israelis love voting, and thus the rabbi had the idea to vote to get rid of our shul president.
 
The community event will have falafel made by Sima's Pastry Shop. It will be a chocolate falafel theme. That was the closest we could come to Israeli food with the limited restaurant resources.
 
Rabbi Mendelchem’s Sermon Excerpts
Shabbat Shalom My Holy Pack…
H' tells to Moshe to tell Aharon… Would you want to be the one to have to tell him to not light strange fires, after his children were killed because of a strange fire?!... Yes. H’ is smart. He is all knowing… You don’t want to deal with those emotions…
Talking about sibling rivalry. This can be a cause… ‘Now you’re rubbing it in, Moshe? What kind of brother… Not even a “I extend my condolences”... It's just like when you got the good staff’...

It's bold. It's like telling somebody their family member is gone, and they died because they did something wrong, so don't make that mistake. It's exactly that... But Aharon was a good man. He took it well... Yes. He loved his sons... Nadav and Avihu were good kids. You don't bring foreign fires... This isn't an immigration issue, Lisa...

People listen after their children are killed. That's why we discussed fundraising at Shivas... The Mafia has taken this lesson to heart...
 
Rashi (VaYikra 16:1) When a doctor tells you to not eat a radish or to sleep in a damp place it doesn’t mean anything. If he says, don’t do it, because you will die like Ploni… The best way to practice medicine is to injure people…
We have to learn from people messing up. Never be like Ploni. Ploni ruins everything he touches… Don’t be like the board… Just don’t be like the board…
Don’t be like Bernie… He's annoying. Bernie eats radishes too... 
 
A little harsh to kill his kids for the lesson, but teachers do what they have to. And that is why our day school needs more injuries. Parents have to stop caring about their kids so much... Safety is why the next generation is getting hurt...
 
You learn from the past... The back left doesn't... You guys showed up to the Yom HaAtzmaut party drunk last year. And you're drunk now... You just got back from Kiddish Club. That means drunk... It was a bouncy house party... There were three year olds...

We have to learn from the past and what people do wrong. 
Ira messed up his business. We can all learn from that... His store went down the tubes. We should learn from Ira and never open a store focused on candy bars. Convenience stores should have milk and eggs, Ira… We know people eat candy bars, but it’s not convenient when breakfast is a Twix…
 
Michelle. Don’t be like Fran and Thelma… Don’t fight over who’s husband is better… Both of their husbands were not that great… When they said ‘it’s your side’ it was the husband’s sides in those families…
The Bentawitz brothers always fighting…
 
The board messed up the fundraiser and I believe every event last year. They killed every single holiday celebration… Purim Piñata event was messed up… The adults were drunk. They took a bat and whacked a kid… Yom HaAtzmaut… There were kids. You pre-gamed a bouncy house. It's wrong.
Pizza is not an Israeli dish… It’s falafel and shawarma...
You guys could've killed somebody. Which is pointless, because the shul is making nothing off that nowadays...
 
Many holy people have passed away. May we learn from the past and give money to the shul.
The community Yom HaShoa program, like Yizkur, was not well attended… Let us first connect with the past and get people to shul…
 
Rivka’s Rundown
That was the rabbi’s last-ditch effort to raise money off death. 
At the end, the rabbi talked about caring about the deceased. He realized that people have to start to care. They have no connection or care.
 
The rabbi sees us as a pack. We're a group. A group that has failed at putting together a decent Yom HaAtzmaut program. I think we're more of a herd.

The message of learn from the congregants, don’t be like them, was well received by the congregants.
 
I eat Twix for breakfast. To be honest, I think Ira sold me on that. He's onto something. Though, it would be nice if he had milk. Twix and milk is good.

We're watching over the kids too much nowadays. Shabbat youth groups is more attended by parents. I believe they are now calling it a beginners Minyin for parents who are coming to shul for the free babysitting.
 
Now we can’t even have an Yom HaAtzmaut event this year. I think the city council heard about the chocolate falafel balls, and said that they can’t allow this event to happen. They didn't want to make it an anti-chocolate-falafel-Semite think, so they just said, 'No Jews gathering.' WHJI will be having a public gathering. We Hate Jews in Israel said that Jews can come, as they need a target for the dunking booth. 
The board really does mess up every holiday. Brisket on Yom HaAtzmaut was also messed up. Though it was a legitimate mistake. It is a Jewish holiday.
 
The rabbi didn’t mention the parade, because he also doesn’t like the idea of chocolate falafel balls. Began is turning over in his grave and asking why the membership doesn't give money to Israel.
Much of the membership is thinking of starting their own committee of people who give money to nothing. They are now meeting every week, as it is hard to turn away death.

As the rabbi said, 'May all of the holy people who have passed and gone to Olam Haba, have an arising of their soul. We thank all the Kedoshim and the soldiers who gave their lives to sanctify God's Name and to bring holiness to this earth, even if their family gives nothing to the shul.'