Laws of Foundations of Torah 1:1-3... All plagiarized from the Rambam
Laws 1-3: We Need a Primary Nonphysical Being
That's how I sum up the first chapter. If my friend Tom was running the world, we would be in trouble. Now let's learn a bissel Torah. The foundation of all knowledge is to know that there is a Primary Being that exists. This is not the old guy in shul who spits on his fingers to turn pages. That is disgusting. That's primeval. Not primary. And that guy should be introduced to tissues. Handkerchiefs just add the disgustingness. The Primary Being is Gd. Gd doesn't spit on fingers. If you think He has fingers, you're a heretic. If you don’t have this knowledge, you will come to conclusions that Dr. Fauci is correct. That is not good. Everything else only exists because of this Being. This Primary Being. That includes badminton and pickleball. Everything else is bound by the physical world, and thus needs this Being. You are physically bound, which means you have limitations. I will be the first inspirational speaker to tell you that you can't accomplish anything you set your mind to. The only thing you have control over is where you sit in shul. And even then, you might end up sitting next to a guy who Chuchs and hocks loogies on his Siddur to turn the pages. The Primary Being does not need anything else to exist. However, nothing else could exist without Him. The world goes around because he causes it to. Gd does not need you. Gd does not need you. And you cannot accomplish anything you set your mind to. I hope that is inspirational. It inspires me. If it helps. If you follow His commandments, H' may want you. Tags:
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They didn’t see the duck in the shul. They were orthodox, but not all orthodox people are observant. You get it? Observant means observing the Mitzvahs. Orthodox means following the Mitzvahs, observant. Not the fact that waterfowl is in your shul. 
'End of the world sale' and people still won't part with their money. Tourists are still haggling... These guys at the shuk have it hard. I remember when the guy had a 'going out of business' sale for six years... Six years of having to go out of business. And the whole time he was still bringing in new product. Not easy to be going out of business that long. And then to have to stay in business after that.
Photo Credit: my sister-in-law, Esti. 
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(Brachos 54b, Rama 64:1) It's forbidden for a Chasan or Kallah to go outside alone in the marketplace during Sheva Brachos. They can only go out with an escort. Some say it's because of Mazikin (harmful beings) or they're like a King. They're also worried that after spending time with the in-laws, the newlyweds will try to run away.
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
12/20/2023
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