Jewish Goyish... Deli Ode Cont'd More

by David Kilimnick

Wearing a black hat when slaughtering meat is Jewish. (Photo: Library of Congress)

Here is a List of Jewish Foods & Other Stuff That Deli Made Amazing-Inspired by Lenny Bruce’s Jewish-Goyish
This will help you understand a bit of what makes delis our tradition.

Pizza is Jewish. Food that New Yorkers liked in the 1980s is Jewish. Food that New Yorkers only knew about in the 1990s is not Jewish. Burritos are not Jewish. Sushi is Goyish, even if they serve it as Simchas. Pigs in a blanket are Jewish. Pickles are Jewish. Jalapenos are Goyish. They burn your mouth. Sephardic food is Goyish, even if Jews have been eating it for 4,000 years. Olives are almost Jewish. Whitefish is Jewish. Herring is Jewish. Sauerkraut is Jewish. Food you can spell is Goyish. American food is Goyish. European food is Jewish. Coleslaw is Jewish. Cabbage is Goyish. Cabbage wrapped around ground beef and rice is Jewish. Stuffed derma is Jewish. If you knew what it was, you wouldn't eat it. It's Jewish. Derma is disgusting. Goyish. Stuffed Derma is for Jews. Salad is Goyish. Salatim are almost Jewish. Jewish eat them. Knishes are Jewish. Perogies are mostly Jewish. They are also not healthy. Barakas are Middle Eastern. I am not sure if it is Jewish yet. Food made with potato is Jewish. Food made with cantaloupe is Goyish. Melon is Goyish. Cranberries are Goyish. Cranberry in jelly form is Jewish. You can make cranberry sauce from that. All deli is Jewish. Deli wrap is heresy. Football is Goyish. Golf is Goyish. Owning a football team is Jewish. Baseball is Jewish when Hank Greenberg is playing. Basketball is Jewish in Israel. Deli sandwich is Jewish. Rye bread is Jewish. Club is Jewish. Baguette is Jewish because it holds deli well. Pumpernickel is Goyish. Turkey is Goyish. Turkey-pastrami is Jewish. Israel is Jewish. Florida is Jewish. Los Angeles is Goyish. Hollywood is Goyish, if you're a heretic. New York is very Jewish. Cel-Ray is Jewish. Black Cherry Soda is Jewish. Cherry Soda is Goyish. Any soda that was made by a doctor is Jewish. Deli is Jewish. Shul is Jewish. Synagogue is mostly Jewish. Picture from the 1920s is Jewish. Picture from the 1950s is Jewish. Picture from the 1990s is Goyish. Steakhouse is Goyish. Smokehouse is not Jewish. Deli is Jewish.
Anything deli is Jewish. Choolante is Jewish. Potato kugel is Jewish. Anything with a lot of oil is Jewish. Sponge cake is Jewish. Anything that needs schnapps to taste decent is Jewish. Herring is very Jewish. Sardines are acceptably Jewish. I just found out about the Middle Eastern diet. People are losing weight with it. Falafel and Barakas are Goyish.