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It's a Mitzvah to permanently place a Mezuzah. As it says (Devarim 6:9, 11:20), ‘And you shall write on the doorposts of the house.’
This Mitzvah caused much anger amongst the parents pf the Jewish people. Their kids learn this Mitzvah at school, and they come home and destroy the house. They hear to write on the doorposts and they can't wait to get home. I can't tell you how many times I've heard parents reprimanding their children, 'You’re killing the door. What are you doing?!... Go to your room and don't write on it.' To which the educated child responds, 'The Torah says…' And then the kid is taken out of Jewish day school and sent to public school. It happens time and time again. At first they thought their kids were using erasable whiteboard markers. Who would command anybody to ruin a beautiful doorway?! When they found out the kids were using Sharpies, all Gehenim broke loose. Parents were outraged. 'How can H' give such a commandment?! It's enough that we measure the kid's height on the doorpost once a year.' It turns out that measuring a child's height is not a Mitzvah in the Torah. Even so, many doors have marked growth of children. Once a child reaches Mezuzah height, tradition is to stop marking the doorpost. This misunderstanding of the Mitzvah by elementary school kids and art teachers is why the Mezuzah box was created. A box to hold the words of the Torah that are permanently affixed to the door. This way the kids can do their art on that and don't kill the doorposts. So many ancient homes in the Ottoman Empire were destroyed by Jewish children and their graffiti. To this day mothers have to yell at their kids, 'No. Don't write on the wall. Here. Decorate the box...' Sometimes they even give them a little slab of wood to draw on, so that the kids can be creative on a future Chanukiah. Since the Mezuzah fiascos of permanent poor outwork on lintels, we have developed many festival art opportunities for holidays. They create Sukkot decorations, Purim masks, Pesach Seder plates. Now kids force us to hang their artwork, as commanded by the Torah, destroying the Sukkah. Next time, we will talk about how people have misunderstood the Mitzvah of Hiddur, beautifying the Sukkah with the artwork of third graders. We will also discuss ways in which to throw out the pathetic art the kids bring home from school. The Blog Tags Widget will appear here on the published site.
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What do say when eating a leafy vegetable that’s been peppered with a little salt and a dash of citrus? Kale Melach Leemon. You get it? Instead of Kel Melech Ne’eman, which is said before Shema- when said alone. Kel is Gd’s name but not. It’s Gd’s name pronounced un-in-vain. In this prayer, you spell Gd’s substituted name more phonetically correct to suit the vegetable. Melach is salt. And Leemon is lemon, for those learning the correct Hebrew word. Or maybe just say the Ha’adama blessing, as it’s from the ground. A lot of thought went into this pun. And heresy. I felt bad executing the bagel. But I did what I had to. There was lox.
Sunday- September 14 at 3:30pm Rochester Fringe Show at the JCC… Click Here for Tickets!
David performs his original songs of love and peace for the gentile. Performing all over the globe, David galvanizes the fans…
And Book David for your community Comedy Kumzits Show- [email protected]
Yad Soledet Bo, temperature at which a hand gets burnt, and retracts, is 113 to 160°F. How do we know this? The rabbis got people to test it. They would have people risk their hands. When the person screamed, they were like, "That's the temperature." Some people didn't scream right away. They tried toughing it out. And when they passed out, the rabbi was like, "That's the temperature..." And the students of the rabbi were in shock, "I can't believe he made it to 160°F." And thanks to Reb Shloimy, who is no longer with us, we were able to figure out the highest degrees of what would be considered cooking on Shabbat. If he didn't risk his life, we wouldn't have known.
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