|
Let's take a stroll down memory lane to our trip to Israel, shopping for a brand named after the sale and skewer safety, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing his shopping experience at Walmart.
Saving up for Shabbis... When you have a lot of kids you buy the store brand. When you have twelve kids, you buy Great Value. Why the brand name is the advertisement for the sale is hard to explain... Walmart may be too embarrassed to put their name on it, but we are proud of the huge family. Truth be told, I saw the ‘Great Value’ and I didn’t even need a brand. If they had a brand 80% Off, all my clothes would be 80% Off. And that would be the style the kids wore to school. 80% Off written right on the shirt pocket... They may be embarrassed to put their name on it, but I am not embarrassed to eat it. And I also bought the Equate toothpaste. So much cheaper than Sensodyne, even if it doesn't clean teeth. I take pride in Walmart. It's my supermarket. I would find it a waste if I couldn't pick up my groceries and fish tackle. And I take greater pride in my FUBU sneakers I picked up as I finished shopping for the cottage cheese. I feel like I am making the world a better place with those shoes. If I didn't buy those kicks there would be third graders in Asia without jobs. It's my way of giving back... And yes, that's a Walmart still life.
Perfect bus seat technique. That's how you keep others away, and enjoy the comfort of Egged... He has his bag under his arm, working as an armrest and person. Headphones to not hear 'I need a seat.' He is looking straight, avoiding all eye contact... allowing him to read the sign in front of him that says 'stand before old people'... Between us. I never understood why the second seat is not just a bag holder.
And they still couldn't figure out that he was Jewish. The baseball hat camouflage works. That’s how you do it. That’s how you hide the black hat. Either that or people in New York have seen this before too.
Skewers are dangerous, and should not be handled by children without parental supervision. Kids should eat schnitzel only... Even if skewers are called Shipuds in Israel, to make them sound more friendly, they are still dangerous. And with the volatile situation in Israel, people should be IDed before they're allowed a Shipud.
Tags:
The Recommended Content Widget will appear here on the published site.
7/18/2025 07:50:31 am
I appreciate how relatable this post is about everyday experiences. Leave a Reply. |
Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY For Tickets Click Here 
My friend’s pig wanted to wish you all a Hog Sameach. You get it? Chag Sameach. Americans can’t say the “Chet.” They say “Hag Sameach.” But this is a hog. So, Hog Sameach. A pig would say that. Most American say “Happy Holiday.” Americans aren’t pigs. Eating too much on Sukkot does not make you a pig. It makes you a person with an upset stomach, who put on twelve pounds. I hope that clears up any misconceptions about why the pig is saying “Hog Sameach,” and people from the US do not. Though, Americans can be quite friendly. 
Sukkah- A hut that is poorly built. Not a mitzvah. H’ knew that is the best a Jew can do. No Jew can build anything that lasts longer than seven days. And that is without rain. My Brother-in-law Teaching his Son to Build: ‘What you gotta do is take the soft side. Then you take the hard side of the Velcro. Tap as such… take the metal. Slip it through canvas. That’s how we build…’
Hakafot on Simchat Torah isn’t a Mitzvah. It’s tradition. Please don’t pull me into the dancing circle. It’s very uncomfortable. I don’t know when the tradition of pulling self-conscious people who don’t know how to dance, into a circle of people who don’t know how to dance, started.
I love the Torah. Let me celebrate the Torah as I do, by throwing candies at kids. Categories
All
|
Your Weekly Jewish Humor Magazine for a Gazunta Laugh about Life
We found
results for you
We've got nothin'!
RSS Feed
© 2025 Kibbitzer Magazine and JHF. All rights reserved.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
1/28/2023
1 Comment