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Let's take a stroll down memory lane back to Chanukah, cold and Kotel Kippahs, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing his anger at the Chabad rabbis for spreading the beautiful word of Chanukah with extremely huge Menorahs.
How you know you're spending Shabbis... After the first four feet that day, there's your sign. When you have to shovel the top of your car, there's your sign. When you're sure you shoveled and nobody believes you, there's your sign. When they ask you if you can help them run errands once your car starts, there's your sign. When nobody accuses you of being a bad Jew for not going to shul, there's your sign. When you're stealing Bill Engvall's tagline and you're not even a fan, there's your sign. When you finally admit your parents were right for insisting you always travel with more than two days’ worth of food, even when you're traveling to work in town, there's your sign.
That's how the real Kotel Yarmulkes are made. Jewish origami. We origami with staple, because we're smart and it makes sense. The same way we make our Sukkah decorations. We origami with staples, and it's faster. Jewish tradition... I miss those Kippahs, they worked great for holding nachos too.
Christmas wouldn't be meaningful without red and green corn chips. B"H. I want to thank the Chaf K for making sure they have a Hashgacha... I appreciate that the Chaf K is here to allow the Jews who keep the laws of Christmas to keep Kosher.
Chabad lighting. You can't compete with them. They measure their Chanukiahs in stories. Mine is 12cm... The rabbi is on a scaffolding. Never worked a day of construction. When it comes to the Chanukiah, the Chabad rabbi is sitting with the architect, standing there painting it, soldering, lighting the thing three hundred feet in the air. Sometimes in a bucket. I’m still gluing nuts onto a slab of wood… That’s commitment to a Mitzvah. There must be a fairy tale of a rabbi that lives in a Chanukiah. If there isn’t, we’re not being creative enough. We’re too focused on stories of rabbis in wagons sometimes…
He gave them Bitcoin... and Mordechai's kids were still not happy with their Chanukah gelt.
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Why did the Maror have trouble talking? It was hoarseradish. You get it? It was hoarse. A soar throat. The root is therefore called a horseradish. If you don’t know, the pony’s favorite vegetable is the horseradish. That's also true. 
The drying rack has been tinfoiled. I can now use it on Pesach.
David Kilimnick - Israel's "Father of Anglo Comedy" (JPost) is not touring with his Israel solidarity show. Bring David to your community, college campus, shul, home, to share laughs of Jewish unity... 585-738-9233 [email protected]
(Rambam- Hilchot Matzah 7:6-7) We have to lean when eating, to feel like a king. Kings recline. Kings also spill wine and stain their shirts. This is to remember (Deverim 16:3) “Remember the day you left Mitzrayim.” I am assuming we were leaning a lot on that day, and we needed to find water to clean the clothes that got spilled on. Midrash Rabbah learns it from (Shemot 13:18) “And H’ led the people roundabout.” Which means they spilled on their shirts in the desert. Gd found a roundabout way to get us to ruin our clothes. The point of this law is that Gd wanted us to stain our clothes. And thus we lean at the Seder, because kings walked around with wine all over them.
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
12/24/2022
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