Kibbitzer Album XVII

Let's take a stroll down memory lane back to Chanukah, cold and Kotel Kippahs, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing his anger at the Chabad rabbis for spreading the beautiful word of Chanukah with extremely huge Menorahs.

How you know you're spending Shabbis... After the first four feet that day, there's your sign. When you have to shovel the top of your car, there's your sign. When you're sure you shoveled and nobody believes you, there's your sign. When they ask you if you can help them run errands once your car starts, there's your sign. When nobody accuses you of being a bad Jew for not going to shul, there's your sign. When you're stealing Bill Engvall's tagline and you're not even a fan, there's your sign. When you finally admit your parents were right for insisting you always travel with more than two days’ worth of food, even when you're traveling to work in town, there's your sign.

That's how the real Kotel Yarmulkes are made. Jewish origami. We origami with staple, because we're smart and it makes sense. The same way we make our Sukkah decorations. We origami with staples, and it's faster. Jewish tradition... I miss those Kippahs, they worked great for holding nachos too.

Christmas wouldn't be meaningful without red and green corn chips. B"H. I want to thank the Chaf K for making sure they have a Hashgacha... I appreciate that the Chaf K is here to allow the Jews who keep the laws of Christmas to keep Kosher.

Chabad lighting. You can't compete with them. They measure their Chanukiahs in stories. Mine is 12cm... The rabbi is on a scaffolding. Never worked a day of construction. When it comes to the Chanukiah, the Chabad rabbi is sitting with the architect, standing there painting it, soldering, lighting the thing three hundred feet in the air. Sometimes in a bucket. I’m still gluing nuts onto a slab of wood… That’s commitment to a Mitzvah. There must be a fairy tale of a rabbi that lives in a Chanukiah. If there isn’t, we’re not being creative enough. We’re too focused on stories of rabbis in wagons sometimes…

He gave them Bitcoin... and Mordechai's kids were still not happy with their Chanukah gelt.