When your mechanic is a religious Jew, you can expect to hear Musar/rebuke, when you complain about how much it costs... He looks like Tevye. He's religious.
Scene
EXT - CAR - DAY The car is with this man for three days. He hasn't even checked it yet. He gave the car a quick glance and came back to David to explain the situation. David sits in the Israeli mechanic's car, and the mechanic gives a soft inspirational speech to David. The mechanic is religious, with a Yarmulke on. As is David. Mechanic: You must to have Emunah. Faith. David: I need my car fixed. I need somebody I have faith in to fix my car. Mechanic: You need Emunah. Dis is de problem. David: I have belief in God. Can you fix my car? Mechanic: You in rush. If you have Emunah, you no rush. David: Yes. I am in a rush. I only have two days to get the car fixed. Then I have to go to America. Mechanic: If you Emunah. You won't no be in a rush. David: It sounds like Emunah moves very slowly. Why does Emunah move so slow? Can you fix the car? Mechanic: I have Emunah. David: Your car works. We're sitting in it. It drives. If I had a car that drove, I would have Emunah. Can you fix the car? Mechanic: You must to relax and have Emunah. David: I don't have time to relax. Mechanic (giving a soft look to say 'you see'): See. You no have Emunah. David: I'm taking the car to another mechanic. One who works and doesn't have Emunah. David is leaving the car. David: And I know that you didn't used to wear a Kippah. You can't fool me with that. I know you're ripping people off. Kibbitzer Conclusion This guy had Emunah. But he didn't fix my car. Why couldn't he just fix my car. I believe, at some point, he thought my name was Emunah. I am still trying to figure out how the mechanic turned into my rabbi. It is beautiful to have such devout mechanics in our country. The only issue is, the devout mechanics charge more. The cab driver also gave me a spiritual speech, when I told him I'm late to the wedding. He told me you have to have Emunah, and he drove very slow. And the cab ride ended up costing a lot. Tags:
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The doctor brought up the war in Iran. I didn’t know what to say, as I don’t follow the news. So, she gave me topical medication. You get it? Topical. News. On top of the skin. The doctor prescribed political medication. Meds to help me with the news... Maybe the doctor was suggesting regular meds. Either way, it was topical. For the guy who had the rash, that’s what they were talking about that day. 
Blech- a) Platah. A Yiddish to Hebrew translation is good enough for us. If you need more help on this word, you can purchase an Eliezer Ben Yehuda edition of the Hebrew dictionary. That’s a helpful place to look to find out what words mean. b) Usually, a metal sheet used to cover the flames of the stovetop on Shabbis and to burn your hand. Sentence: ‘You sure the Blech is stopping this soup from cooking on Shabbis? The liquid is boiling and my palm is scorched.’
Show was amazing... Looking forward to sharing laughs with your community. Shoot an email to [email protected] to bring David out for laughs and song.
Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer 21:3) says you can look at a girl, only to see if she’s fit for marriage. And it would appear that I’ve thought to marry many women recently.
Whether she is a virgin or not. How to do this, I do not know. How do you check out a girl for marriage? “She’s a girl. I guess she can get married. And that is what I was checking out just now.” And it is fitting to do so. When you see a woman, you should think about marrying her. And this is why it is very awkward for women to work in retail. A note of interest: This is why married men have been joining the Shadchan field. On the spot, they get caught checking out a girl, they tell their wives they’re thinking of a Shidduch for them. They become Shadchanim like that, and it saves their marriage. And the Shulchan Aruch continues, “But he may not look at her in a promiscuous way.” And this is why many religious men, when they look at women are checking out the soul. And that’s what I say when people catch me checking out a woman. “It is Halachik. I’m only looking at her figure because of marriage. And that really means I’m looking at her soul.” Now you all know I’m a good holy Jew. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
9/8/2022
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