When your mechanic is a religious Jew, you can expect to hear Musar/rebuke, when you complain about how much it costs... He looks like Tevye. He's religious.
Scene
EXT - CAR - DAY The car is with this man for three days. He hasn't even checked it yet. He gave the car a quick glance and came back to David to explain the situation. David sits in the Israeli mechanic's car, and the mechanic gives a soft inspirational speech to David. The mechanic is religious, with a Yarmulke on. As is David. Mechanic: You must to have Emunah. Faith. David: I need my car fixed. I need somebody I have faith in to fix my car. Mechanic: You need Emunah. Dis is de problem. David: I have belief in God. Can you fix my car? Mechanic: You in rush. If you have Emunah, you no rush. David: Yes. I am in a rush. I only have two days to get the car fixed. Then I have to go to America. Mechanic: If you Emunah. You won't no be in a rush. David: It sounds like Emunah moves very slowly. Why does Emunah move so slow? Can you fix the car? Mechanic: I have Emunah. David: Your car works. We're sitting in it. It drives. If I had a car that drove, I would have Emunah. Can you fix the car? Mechanic: You must to relax and have Emunah. David: I don't have time to relax. Mechanic (giving a soft look to say 'you see'): See. You no have Emunah. David: I'm taking the car to another mechanic. One who works and doesn't have Emunah. David is leaving the car. David: And I know that you didn't used to wear a Kippah. You can't fool me with that. I know you're ripping people off. Kibbitzer Conclusion This guy had Emunah. But he didn't fix my car. Why couldn't he just fix my car. I believe, at some point, he thought my name was Emunah. I am still trying to figure out how the mechanic turned into my rabbi. It is beautiful to have such devout mechanics in our country. The only issue is, the devout mechanics charge more. The cab driver also gave me a spiritual speech, when I told him I'm late to the wedding. He told me you have to have Emunah, and he drove very slow. And the cab ride ended up costing a lot. Tags:
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This has been a good year Shofar. You get it? So far. Shofar. The guy had a lisp. He was positive. He said it before Rosh Hashana, which was a little early. But that’s what positive thinkers do. 
Siman/im- a) Known as signs, this is when Jews get violent with fruit on Rosh Hashana, as food can be used for desert and to curse our enemies. As we’re not violent, we summon H’ to do this for us with vegetation such as kiwi and dates. Sentence: ‘May it by Thy will… our enemies die like a pomegranate… May our enemies be juiced.’ b) The reason I had nightmares on Rosh Hashana, about cabbage.
Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
Thursday - Sept. 17 @ 7pm Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY For Tickets Click Here 
The Talmud (Keritut 6a) encourages us to eat symbolic food on Rosh Hashana because “symbolism has meaning.” Thus, we focus on puns about carrots to connect to H’. We focus our prayers on what happens to our enemies who don’t keep pomegranates. Pomegranates means Mitzvahs. Good Jews understand this, as they know how to curse out enemies with vegetation.
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
9/8/2022
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