When your mechanic is a religious Jew, you can expect to hear Musar/rebuke, when you complain about how much it costs... He looks like Tevye. He's religious.
Scene
EXT - CAR - DAY The car is with this man for three days. He hasn't even checked it yet. He gave the car a quick glance and came back to David to explain the situation. David sits in the Israeli mechanic's car, and the mechanic gives a soft inspirational speech to David. The mechanic is religious, with a Yarmulke on. As is David. Mechanic: You must to have Emunah. Faith. David: I need my car fixed. I need somebody I have faith in to fix my car. Mechanic: You need Emunah. Dis is de problem. David: I have belief in God. Can you fix my car? Mechanic: You in rush. If you have Emunah, you no rush. David: Yes. I am in a rush. I only have two days to get the car fixed. Then I have to go to America. Mechanic: If you Emunah. You won't no be in a rush. David: It sounds like Emunah moves very slowly. Why does Emunah move so slow? Can you fix the car? Mechanic: I have Emunah. David: Your car works. We're sitting in it. It drives. If I had a car that drove, I would have Emunah. Can you fix the car? Mechanic: You must to relax and have Emunah. David: I don't have time to relax. Mechanic (giving a soft look to say 'you see'): See. You no have Emunah. David: I'm taking the car to another mechanic. One who works and doesn't have Emunah. David is leaving the car. David: And I know that you didn't used to wear a Kippah. You can't fool me with that. I know you're ripping people off. Kibbitzer Conclusion This guy had Emunah. But he didn't fix my car. Why couldn't he just fix my car. I believe, at some point, he thought my name was Emunah. I am still trying to figure out how the mechanic turned into my rabbi. It is beautiful to have such devout mechanics in our country. The only issue is, the devout mechanics charge more. The cab driver also gave me a spiritual speech, when I told him I'm late to the wedding. He told me you have to have Emunah, and he drove very slow. And the cab ride ended up costing a lot. Tags:
The Recommended Content Widget will appear here on the published site.
Leave a Reply. |
How do we know Rachel paid her maidservant? She’d Bilhah. You get it? Bilhah. Bill her. Rachel’s maid was Bilhah. Zilpah didn’t charge Leah. How do we know that? Because she didn’t Bilhah. Thank you. See how I brought that pun back around for you. 
My kitchen. I keep them. Never use them. But I keep them. Must have at least three hundred paper bags. One for each time I go shopping without a plastic bag. And that’s how I help the world, saving the environment. Tikun Olam. The question
International stand-up comedian, David Kilimnick, brings The Humor Hour of laughs to the resident seniors at your facility…
Also book David (Israel's "father of Agnlo comedy") for your shul Stand-up night and community Comedy Kumzits Singalong Show- To Book David to bring the joy and laughs contact [email protected]
(Pirkei Avot 5:10) “One who says ‘what’s mine is mine and yours is yours’ is a regular person.” That sounds right. Regular people say stupid stuff. And we’re not talking about somebody who doesn’t share their Milk of Magnesia.
“And some say it’s the Sodom character trait.” Your not sharing Sunkist fruit gems destroys. Like Sodom, you’re selfish. You don’t invite people to your house. You don’t give to the poor. And you take all the choolante meat at Kiddish. Sorry. I was just at a Bar Mitzvah. It’s the “all about me” attitude. And that’s how regular people are. Regular people never share their gummies. And that’s why Sodom got destroyed. And that dad was right for armbaring the kid who didn’t share the Bar Mitzvah fruit gem bags. Lesson of Love: By sharing your Paskesz, you can save the world. Categories
All
Archives
November 2025
|
Your Weekly Jewish Humor Magazine for a Gazunta Laugh about Life
We found
results for you
We've got nothin'!
RSS Feed
© 2025 Kibbitzer Magazine and JHF. All rights reserved.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
9/8/2022
0 Comments