Scene 1
INT - BASKETBALL STADIUM - NIGHT Rushing to their seats. Entering the stadium. Shlomo: Got to get to our seats. We don't want to miss anything. They sit down. Seats are high and far from the center of the court, behind the Hapoel basketball bench area. Not great seats. Shlomo: Do you see? Mike: Kind of hard. The seats are a bit far from the court. Shlomo: Amar'e Stoudemire is wearing Tzitzis. Mike: Seriously???!!! He's wearing a Kippah. This is amazing. Kippah and Tzitzis. This is the best game I've ever been at. We see Amar'e sitting on the bench with Tzitzis and a Kippah, in nice clothes (not a jersey). Shlomo: Did Hapoel just score? Mike: I have no idea. Amar'e put up his feat. He's wearing Shabbis shoes. (Mike cont'd) Why is Amar'e not playing? Shlomo: You can't play in his Tzitzis. Mike: I get it. Fans jump out of their seats and start cheering. Some of the fans are jumping right in front of Mike and Shlomo. Fans Cheering: Hapoel Oleh Oleh Oleh. Hapoel Oleh. (Fans continue cheering) Shlomo: Did Amar'e just kiss his Tzitzis? Mike: I don't know. I think said a Bracha on Gatorade. Fan 1: Hapoel Aloofim. Zeeh best. Mike (to Fans in front of them): Please sit. Fan 2: I'm not even sitting in front of you. Mike is looking towards the bench. Not the court. Mike: You're obstructing our view. We can't see Amar'e. Please move. Shlomo: Yeah. He's right there. Scootch. Fans Cheering: Mashiach. Mashiach. Mashiach. Oy Yoy Yoy Yoy Yoy Yoyoy... Shlomo: This is the best game I've ever been to. Mike: A religious experience. The fans are walking out. Hapoel Jerusalem fans are all cheering. Mike: Did Hapoel win? Shlomo: I have no idea. Amar'e had Tzitzis and Kippah. Mike: Those were great seats. I would even pay to see him stand. Mike turns to random fan. Mike: Did Hapoel win? Fan 3: I came to see Amar'e. Shlomo: Great game. Fan 3: I know. Scene 2 INT - SHUL - DAY Rabbi is giving Shabbis sermon and everybody is listening. Shlomo and Mike are sitting in shul. Rabbi: And we are commanded to return to H.' It was the most inspirational thing I had ever seen. Amar'e Stoudemire had a yarmulke on. Random Congregant: Did he play? Rabbi: No. But he was sitting there with a yarmulke. Shlomo: Inspirational. Mike: I know. They walk over to the rabbi as the rabbi takes his seat. Mike: That sermon really touched me. Kibbitzer Conclusion It's more exciting to see Amar'e Stoudemire with a Kippah, on the bench, than to see him playing basketball. Jews would pay thousands for front row seats to see an NBA player that's Jewish. It's almost as exciting as hearing somebody say 'Good Shabbis' on TV. It's about the religious experience. And most of the fans at the game missed davening Mariv with a Minyan. Tags:
The Recommended Content Widget will appear here on the published site.
Leave a Reply. |
The kids were very loud, so their parents had them play Mom’s the Word. You get it? Mum’s the Word. But mom wants silence. So, it’s Mom’s the Word. A game of silence, where Mom’s the only one who can talk. Moms love the game, and it makes Moms happy. 
Ima- a) A person who does everything for you. These people clean, wash your clothes, cook, listen to your complaints. Then, you get married and complain about them visiting. See Shviger for how you offensively refer to people who love you.
b) The lyrics to every Mizrachi song. Full Lyrics to Mizrachi Song: “Ima. Ani Ohev Otach. Ima.” 
Show was amazing... Looking forward to sharing laughs with your community. Shoot an email to [email protected] to bring David out for laughs and song.
People always ask, “Is Mother’s Day Asur?” There is drinking, gambling, and doing something kind for your parents. You should stay away from all of them.
Many rabbis say that every day is Mother’s Day. So, treat the day like every other day and honor your mother by doing nothing for her. As a rabbi, I will say Mother’s Day is forbidden. It feels more religious to say it’s Asur, and to do nothing for your parents. Categories
All
|
Your Weekly Jewish Humor Magazine for a Gazunta Laugh about Life
We found
results for you
We've got nothin'!
RSS Feed
© 2025 Kibbitzer Magazine and JHF. All rights reserved.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
5/19/2022
0 Comments