Scene 1
INT - BASKETBALL STADIUM - NIGHT Rushing to their seats. Entering the stadium. Shlomo: Got to get to our seats. We don't want to miss anything. They sit down. Seats are high and far from the center of the court, behind the Hapoel basketball bench area. Not great seats. Shlomo: Do you see? Mike: Kind of hard. The seats are a bit far from the court. Shlomo: Amar'e Stoudemire is wearing Tzitzis. Mike: Seriously???!!! He's wearing a Kippah. This is amazing. Kippah and Tzitzis. This is the best game I've ever been at. We see Amar'e sitting on the bench with Tzitzis and a Kippah, in nice clothes (not a jersey). Shlomo: Did Hapoel just score? Mike: I have no idea. Amar'e put up his feat. He's wearing Shabbis shoes. (Mike cont'd) Why is Amar'e not playing? Shlomo: You can't play in his Tzitzis. Mike: I get it. Fans jump out of their seats and start cheering. Some of the fans are jumping right in front of Mike and Shlomo. Fans Cheering: Hapoel Oleh Oleh Oleh. Hapoel Oleh. (Fans continue cheering) Shlomo: Did Amar'e just kiss his Tzitzis? Mike: I don't know. I think said a Bracha on Gatorade. Fan 1: Hapoel Aloofim. Zeeh best. Mike (to Fans in front of them): Please sit. Fan 2: I'm not even sitting in front of you. Mike is looking towards the bench. Not the court. Mike: You're obstructing our view. We can't see Amar'e. Please move. Shlomo: Yeah. He's right there. Scootch. Fans Cheering: Mashiach. Mashiach. Mashiach. Oy Yoy Yoy Yoy Yoy Yoyoy... Shlomo: This is the best game I've ever been to. Mike: A religious experience. The fans are walking out. Hapoel Jerusalem fans are all cheering. Mike: Did Hapoel win? Shlomo: I have no idea. Amar'e had Tzitzis and Kippah. Mike: Those were great seats. I would even pay to see him stand. Mike turns to random fan. Mike: Did Hapoel win? Fan 3: I came to see Amar'e. Shlomo: Great game. Fan 3: I know. Scene 2 INT - SHUL - DAY Rabbi is giving Shabbis sermon and everybody is listening. Shlomo and Mike are sitting in shul. Rabbi: And we are commanded to return to H.' It was the most inspirational thing I had ever seen. Amar'e Stoudemire had a yarmulke on. Random Congregant: Did he play? Rabbi: No. But he was sitting there with a yarmulke. Shlomo: Inspirational. Mike: I know. They walk over to the rabbi as the rabbi takes his seat. Mike: That sermon really touched me. Kibbitzer Conclusion It's more exciting to see Amar'e Stoudemire with a Kippah, on the bench, than to see him playing basketball. Jews would pay thousands for front row seats to see an NBA player that's Jewish. It's almost as exciting as hearing somebody say 'Good Shabbis' on TV. It's about the religious experience. And most of the fans at the game missed davening Mariv with a Minyan. Tags:
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I wonder who’s going to do the shofar this year. Last year the guy really blew it. You get it? Blew it. You blow a shofar. ‘Blew it’ means messed up. He blew blowing the shofar. 
Our enemies should die like squash. They should be squashed like squash and die...
I’m just working on the Rosh Hashana Simanim and my ability to curse enemies with vegetation. I feel like the gourd family allows me to get out my anger at our foes. 
Rabbi David Kilimnick, Israel's 'Father of Anglo Comedy' brings the Holy Land Comedy Experience of Solidarity to Your Community... [email protected]
Rambam (Hilchot Yom Tov 6:18) 'One who locks the doors to his house and only eats and drinks with his kids and his wife, doesn't have the happiness of Yom Tov, but rather happiness of his stomach.' That sounds like good holiday happiness to me. I'm happy when I'm eating some decent blintzes... The Rambam might be saying it's a bad thing. The idea is that people should be able to break into your home while you're having dinner with the children.
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
5/19/2022
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