Scene 1
INT - BASKETBALL STADIUM - NIGHT Rushing to their seats. Entering the stadium. Shlomo: Got to get to our seats. We don't want to miss anything. They sit down. Seats are high and far from the center of the court, behind the Hapoel basketball bench area. Not great seats. Shlomo: Do you see? Mike: Kind of hard. The seats are a bit far from the court. Shlomo: Amar'e Stoudemire is wearing Tzitzis. Mike: Seriously???!!! He's wearing a Kippah. This is amazing. Kippah and Tzitzis. This is the best game I've ever been at. We see Amar'e sitting on the bench with Tzitzis and a Kippah, in nice clothes (not a jersey). Shlomo: Did Hapoel just score? Mike: I have no idea. Amar'e put up his feat. He's wearing Shabbis shoes. (Mike cont'd) Why is Amar'e not playing? Shlomo: You can't play in his Tzitzis. Mike: I get it. Fans jump out of their seats and start cheering. Some of the fans are jumping right in front of Mike and Shlomo. Fans Cheering: Hapoel Oleh Oleh Oleh. Hapoel Oleh. (Fans continue cheering) Shlomo: Did Amar'e just kiss his Tzitzis? Mike: I don't know. I think said a Bracha on Gatorade. Fan 1: Hapoel Aloofim. Zeeh best. Mike (to Fans in front of them): Please sit. Fan 2: I'm not even sitting in front of you. Mike is looking towards the bench. Not the court. Mike: You're obstructing our view. We can't see Amar'e. Please move. Shlomo: Yeah. He's right there. Scootch. Fans Cheering: Mashiach. Mashiach. Mashiach. Oy Yoy Yoy Yoy Yoy Yoyoy... Shlomo: This is the best game I've ever been to. Mike: A religious experience. The fans are walking out. Hapoel Jerusalem fans are all cheering. Mike: Did Hapoel win? Shlomo: I have no idea. Amar'e had Tzitzis and Kippah. Mike: Those were great seats. I would even pay to see him stand. Mike turns to random fan. Mike: Did Hapoel win? Fan 3: I came to see Amar'e. Shlomo: Great game. Fan 3: I know. Scene 2 INT - SHUL - DAY Rabbi is giving Shabbis sermon and everybody is listening. Shlomo and Mike are sitting in shul. Rabbi: And we are commanded to return to H.' It was the most inspirational thing I had ever seen. Amar'e Stoudemire had a yarmulke on. Random Congregant: Did he play? Rabbi: No. But he was sitting there with a yarmulke. Shlomo: Inspirational. Mike: I know. They walk over to the rabbi as the rabbi takes his seat. Mike: That sermon really touched me. Kibbitzer Conclusion It's more exciting to see Amar'e Stoudemire with a Kippah, on the bench, than to see him playing basketball. Jews would pay thousands for front row seats to see an NBA player that's Jewish. It's almost as exciting as hearing somebody say 'Good Shabbis' on TV. It's about the religious experience. And most of the fans at the game missed davening Mariv with a Minyan. Tags:
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Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY For Tickets Click Here 
My friend’s pig wanted to wish you all a Hog Sameach. You get it? Chag Sameach. Americans can’t say the “Chet.” They say “Hag Sameach.” But this is a hog. So, Hog Sameach. A pig would say that. Most American say “Happy Holiday.” Americans aren’t pigs. Eating too much on Sukkot does not make you a pig. It makes you a person with an upset stomach, who put on twelve pounds. I hope that clears up any misconceptions about why the pig is saying “Hog Sameach,” and people from the US do not. Though, Americans can be quite friendly. 
Sukkah- A hut that is poorly built. Not a mitzvah. H’ knew that is the best a Jew can do. No Jew can build anything that lasts longer than seven days. And that is without rain. My Brother-in-law Teaching his Son to Build: ‘What you gotta do is take the soft side. Then you take the hard side of the Velcro. Tap as such… take the metal. Slip it through canvas. That’s how we build…’
Hakafot on Simchat Torah isn’t a Mitzvah. It’s tradition. Please don’t pull me into the dancing circle. It’s very uncomfortable. I don’t know when the tradition of pulling self-conscious people who don’t know how to dance, into a circle of people who don’t know how to dance, started.
I love the Torah. Let me celebrate the Torah as I do, by throwing candies at kids. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
5/19/2022
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