Scene 1
INT - BASKETBALL STADIUM - NIGHT Rushing to their seats. Entering the stadium. Shlomo: Got to get to our seats. We don't want to miss anything. They sit down. Seats are high and far from the center of the court, behind the Hapoel basketball bench area. Not great seats. Shlomo: Do you see? Mike: Kind of hard. The seats are a bit far from the court. Shlomo: Amar'e Stoudemire is wearing Tzitzis. Mike: Seriously???!!! He's wearing a Kippah. This is amazing. Kippah and Tzitzis. This is the best game I've ever been at. We see Amar'e sitting on the bench with Tzitzis and a Kippah, in nice clothes (not a jersey). Shlomo: Did Hapoel just score? Mike: I have no idea. Amar'e put up his feat. He's wearing Shabbis shoes. (Mike cont'd) Why is Amar'e not playing? Shlomo: You can't play in his Tzitzis. Mike: I get it. Fans jump out of their seats and start cheering. Some of the fans are jumping right in front of Mike and Shlomo. Fans Cheering: Hapoel Oleh Oleh Oleh. Hapoel Oleh. (Fans continue cheering) Shlomo: Did Amar'e just kiss his Tzitzis? Mike: I don't know. I think said a Bracha on Gatorade. Fan 1: Hapoel Aloofim. Zeeh best. Mike (to Fans in front of them): Please sit. Fan 2: I'm not even sitting in front of you. Mike is looking towards the bench. Not the court. Mike: You're obstructing our view. We can't see Amar'e. Please move. Shlomo: Yeah. He's right there. Scootch. Fans Cheering: Mashiach. Mashiach. Mashiach. Oy Yoy Yoy Yoy Yoy Yoyoy... Shlomo: This is the best game I've ever been to. Mike: A religious experience. The fans are walking out. Hapoel Jerusalem fans are all cheering. Mike: Did Hapoel win? Shlomo: I have no idea. Amar'e had Tzitzis and Kippah. Mike: Those were great seats. I would even pay to see him stand. Mike turns to random fan. Mike: Did Hapoel win? Fan 3: I came to see Amar'e. Shlomo: Great game. Fan 3: I know. Scene 2 INT - SHUL - DAY Rabbi is giving Shabbis sermon and everybody is listening. Shlomo and Mike are sitting in shul. Rabbi: And we are commanded to return to H.' It was the most inspirational thing I had ever seen. Amar'e Stoudemire had a yarmulke on. Random Congregant: Did he play? Rabbi: No. But he was sitting there with a yarmulke. Shlomo: Inspirational. Mike: I know. They walk over to the rabbi as the rabbi takes his seat. Mike: That sermon really touched me. Kibbitzer Conclusion It's more exciting to see Amar'e Stoudemire with a Kippah, on the bench, than to see him playing basketball. Jews would pay thousands for front row seats to see an NBA player that's Jewish. It's almost as exciting as hearing somebody say 'Good Shabbis' on TV. It's about the religious experience. And most of the fans at the game missed davening Mariv with a Minyan. Tags:
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How do we know Balak didn’t pay? He had to Bil-am. You get it? Bilam. Bill him. If you say Bilam fast it sounds like bill him. That’s how we know there was no prophet. Another pun. Profit. Bilam was a prophet. Prophet. Profit. Brilliant. Do prophets make profit? I guess it depends on if they get paid. 
Mazel Tov. It’s a dog... I think it’s great when people give birth to dogs. They’re just not good on deciding what to order. I waited on line for a good ten minutes for that dog to make a decision as to what coffee it wanted. At some point, I decided to cut him.
David Kilimnick - Israel's "Father of Anglo Comedy" (JPost) is not touring with his Israel solidarity show. Bring David to your community, college campus, shul, home, to share laughs of Jewish unity... 585-738-9233 [email protected]
Peninei Halacha (Zemanim 8:6:2-3) says that bathing is allowed during the 3 Weeks. So no excuse for the kids in camp smelling like that.
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
5/19/2022
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