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INT - BASKETBALL STADIUM - NIGHT
Rushing to their seats. Entering the stadium.
Shlomo: Got to get to our seats. We don't want to miss anything.
They sit down. Seats are high and far from the center of the court, behind the Hapoel basketball bench area. Not great seats.
Shlomo: Do you see?
Mike: Kind of hard. The seats are a bit far from the court.
Shlomo: Amar'e Stoudemire is wearing Tzitzis.
Mike: Seriously???!!! He's wearing a Kippah. This is amazing. Kippah and Tzitzis. This is the best game I've ever been at.
We see Amar'e sitting on the bench with Tzitzis and a Kippah, in nice clothes (not a jersey).
Shlomo: Did Hapoel just score?
Mike: I have no idea. Amar'e put up his feat. He's wearing Shabbis shoes.
(Mike cont'd) Why is Amar'e not playing?
Shlomo: You can't play in his Tzitzis.
Mike: I get it.
Fans jump out of their seats and start cheering. Some of the fans are jumping right in front of Mike and Shlomo.
Fans Cheering: Hapoel Oleh Oleh Oleh. Hapoel Oleh.
(Fans continue cheering)
Shlomo: Did Amar'e just kiss his Tzitzis?
Mike: I don't know. I think said a Bracha on Gatorade.
Fan 1: Hapoel Aloofim. Zeeh best.
Mike (to Fans in front of them): Please sit.
Fan 2: I'm not even sitting in front of you.
Mike is looking towards the bench. Not the court.
Mike: You're obstructing our view. We can't see Amar'e. Please move.
Shlomo: Yeah. He's right there. Scootch.
Fans Cheering: Mashiach. Mashiach. Mashiach. Oy Yoy Yoy Yoy Yoy Yoyoy...
Shlomo: This is the best game I've ever been to.
Mike: A religious experience.
The fans are walking out. Hapoel Jerusalem fans are all cheering.
Mike: Did Hapoel win?
Shlomo: I have no idea. Amar'e had Tzitzis and Kippah.
Mike: Those were great seats. I would even pay to see him stand.
Mike turns to random fan.
Mike: Did Hapoel win?
Fan 3: I came to see Amar'e.
Shlomo: Great game.
Fan 3: I know.
INT - SHUL - DAY
Rabbi is giving Shabbis sermon and everybody is listening. Shlomo and Mike are sitting in shul.
Rabbi: And we are commanded to return to H.' It was the most inspirational thing I had ever seen. Amar'e Stoudemire had a yarmulke on.
Random Congregant: Did he play?
Rabbi: No. But he was sitting there with a yarmulke.
Mike: I know.
They walk over to the rabbi as the rabbi takes his seat.
Mike: That sermon really touched me.
It's more exciting to see Amar'e Stoudemire with a Kippah, on the bench, than to see him playing basketball.
Jews would pay thousands for front row seats to see an NBA player that's Jewish. It's almost as exciting as hearing somebody say 'Good Shabbis' on TV. It's about the religious experience. And most of the fans at the game missed davening Mariv with a Minyan.
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They wanted to clean the silver on the Torah. Instead, they Polished it.
You get it? People from Poland are Polish. They should‘ve polished the silver. Nobody knows what it means. Maybe put a Polish person on it. If you're Polish, we do not mean to offend you. At the Kibbitzer, we are sure that many Polish know how to polish very well.
The Jerusalem Shofar carrying bag and water bottle. Perfect for when you need to blow the Shofar on a Tiyul. (saying something about a Shofar on a hike was where our creativity on this joke came to a halt)