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INT – SHUL – NIGHT
Speech just ended and it is open to questions, known as the Q&A part of the speech. The Microphone Person goes around with the microphone to the people. His official name is Microphone Person. The shul made up a rule that there's no microphone line, as the whole room would be on it. Standing in a line to get up to that microphone. Everybody has something to say.
Microphone Person: We have a question from Mrs. Goldman.
Mrs. Goldman: That was a great speech. I love your new book. Saw the cover. Looks great. We follow you.
Microphone Person: Would you like to ask a question?
The speaker gestures appreciation.
Mrs. Goldman: I am very pro-Israel. I love it. I have a lot of friends there. My children learned in Yeshiva there. Great falafel place in Herzliya. I love it. I have a grandson in the army. Tzahal is great. My granddaughter finished her service last year. I am very proud of her. She is now going to Bar Ilan University. Thank you.
Microphone Person: Anything else.
Mrs. Goldman: That’s my question. Thank you.
People sitting there give her a thumbs up and applaud her brilliant question. The speaker’s eyes open wide in wonderment.
Microphone Person: Next question?
Mr. Sadlowitz: What Israel is doing is wrong. I have never been there, but it is wrong. They should give land to the natives. Reparations have not been handed out. It’s an apartheid state.
Speaker: I believe you have Israel mixed up with the US and South Africa.
Mr. Sadlowitz: It's wrong. That's my question. Thank you.
Microphone Person: We have time for one more question.
Five more people get up without questions. Just statements.
Speaker shows frustration, as he hasn’t spoken for twelve minutes and this is his speech. He sits down. Without him answering questions, the Q&A continues. The rest of the community gets up to share their opinions about Israel. Microphone person walks over to Dr. Fishbaum. Dr. Fishbaum takes the microphone and walks towards the front of the room, taking over the presentation.
Dr. Fishbaum: It would've been good if you were from Israel.
Speaker: Yes. That was what my speech was about.
Dr. Fishbaum: You should’ve said it.
Speaker: I did. I started by saying I live in Israel.
Dr. Fishbaum: I didn’t hear it.
Bernie Finkelman: Good point Fishbaum. Exactly.
Bernie Finkelman gives Fishbaum a thumbs up and a nod of acquiescence. Dr. Fishbaum turns around and receives nods of approvals from all the congregants. Some mouth that they didn’t hear it either. The speaker is shocked. He has received no questions and he is being blamed for not saying what he said.
Speaker: Can I go?
Microphone Person: Yeah. That’s fine. I can field the rest of the questions.
At the Q&A the members of the shul get up and give their speech. We have seen this countless times. We have never heard a question during the question-answer part of the speech.
Guest speakers should not allow for the Q&A in the Jewish community.
The speaker is never ready for the congregants' speeches. We have also never seen a speaker who knew how to respond to being blamed for not saying what they said.
We believe the guest speaker was not happy that people didn't listen to him, and still argued with him.
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They wanted to clean the silver on the Torah. Instead, they Polished it.
You get it? People from Poland are Polish. They should‘ve polished the silver. Nobody knows what it means. Maybe put a Polish person on it. If you're Polish, we do not mean to offend you. At the Kibbitzer, we are sure that many Polish know how to polish very well.
The Jerusalem Shofar carrying bag and water bottle. Perfect for when you need to blow the Shofar on a Tiyul. (saying something about a Shofar on a hike was where our creativity on this joke came to a halt)