Jewish Puns XXI: Mordechai's Shivim Punim LaTorah

by Mordechai Stein

They were piercing ears of slaves into doors so often, it turned into such a bore. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? A bore means boring. It also means to make a hole in something. They bored ears of slaves who wanted to remain slaves. It's boring to have to see people boring ears all the time. Education.
 
When building the cover for the ark the first guy used cabbage. He heard Keruvim. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? A keruv is a cabbage. Keruv is one of the images on the ark cover. Keruvim is the two of them, and also two cabbages. Hebrew puns are great. And they are also sacrilegious.
 
My kids take after me. Due to Kibud Av vEim, they always let me take first. (Mordechai)
You get it? ‘Take after me' means to be like their dad. Instead, they let their dad fill his plate first, as per the Mitzvah to honor parents. Very good kids. If we can have a positive influence on the next generation with our puns, that is the blessing.
 
They said, 'Our Mora DAsra should not put a string around the Kehillah for carrying.' They didn‘t want their rabbi should be Eruv Rav. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Mora DAsra is a rabbi. The string helps in making an Eruv. Eruv Rav, the mixed multitudes. I have no idea what the mixed multitudes are. But it's the Eruv Rav, if that helps.

They heard the Mishkan needed copper vessels, so some of the Jews donated a copper ship. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? They used copper in the Mishkan for vessels. Ships are also called vessels. At one time, many ships used copper in their construction. Vessels have different meanings.
 
Mike Lindell is making too much money off this war, selling Gaza Dream Sheets. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Mike Lindell is the My Pillow Guy. He sells Giza Dream Sheets. Gaza was mixed with Giza. They almost sound the same. Giza isn‘t far from Israel, and cotton is an industry.
 
He wouldn't stop talking, saying it's Purim and there is a Mitzvah of Megillah. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? A Megillah is when someone rambles on and on. On Purim, we're required to hear Megillat Esther, not Baruch‘s story about his new car. Both Megillahs.