How do you know that it's a mitzvah to drink soda on Shabbos? Because it says in davening: תקנתה שבת רציתה קרבנותיה 'Ratzita Carbonteha (your sacrifices).' (Mordechai)
You get it? 'Your carbon is wanted.' A carbonated carbon. Same word. Different languages. Brilliant pun. Maybe sacrifices were carbonated. You don't know. I didn't have time to bring Karbanot. Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices. (Mordechai) You get it? Karbanot are sacrifices (even if now we decided to spell it with a 'k', and it was with a 'c' a sentence ago). He should've made a sacrifice, finding time to bring the sacrifice. Sacrifices take sacrifices. Since the beginning of Elul, the blowing has been good Shofar. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? So far. Shofar. Instead so far, we wrote 'Shofar.' The Shofar is the horn we blow. They wanted to clean the silver on the Torah. Instead, they Polished it. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? People from Poland are Polish. They should‘ve polished the silver. Nobody knows what it means. Maybe put a Polish person on it. If you're Polish, we do not mean to offend you. At the Kibbitzer, we are sure that many Polish know how to polish very well. And we are also sure that many Polish people are very bad at polishing. We don't discriminate. In what month does light shine out of the table? Tish-ray. (Mordechai) You get it? Tishrei is the Jewish month. A Tish is a table in Yiddish. Ray coming out of the table. It‘s because of all the holidays in Tishrei, that it shines. Education. Puns are about education. When you build a Sukkah, you have to have the right in-tent. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Intent. In tent. The Sukkah is a tent. You also need to have the right intent, Kavanah, when building a Sukkah. It all comes together in a pun.. Adam and Chava ate a lot of apples to fulfill the Mitzah to be fruitful. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? We are told to be fruitful and multiply. Apples are a fruit. They‘re told to not eat from the Tree of Knowledge. They ate. So much here. Levels. Tags:
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The kids were very loud, so their parents had them play Mom’s the Word. You get it? Mum’s the Word. But mom wants silence. So, it’s Mom’s the Word. A game of silence, where Mom’s the only one who can talk. Moms love the game, and it makes Moms happy. 
Ima- a) A person who does everything for you. These people clean, wash your clothes, cook, listen to your complaints. Then, you get married and complain about them visiting. See Shviger for how you offensively refer to people who love you.
b) The lyrics to every Mizrachi song. Full Lyrics to Mizrachi Song: “Ima. Ani Ohev Otach. Ima.” 
Show was amazing... Looking forward to sharing laughs with your community. Shoot an email to [email protected] to bring David out for laughs and song.
People always ask, “Is Mother’s Day Asur?” There is drinking, gambling, and doing something kind for your parents. You should stay away from all of them.
Many rabbis say that every day is Mother’s Day. So, treat the day like every other day and honor your mother by doing nothing for her. As a rabbi, I will say Mother’s Day is forbidden. It feels more religious to say it’s Asur, and to do nothing for your parents. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
10/18/2023
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