How do you know that it's a mitzvah to drink soda on Shabbos? Because it says in davening: תקנתה שבת רציתה קרבנותיה 'Ratzita Carbonteha (your sacrifices).' (Mordechai)
You get it? 'Your carbon is wanted.' A carbonated carbon. Same word. Different languages. Brilliant pun. Maybe sacrifices were carbonated. You don't know. I didn't have time to bring Karbanot. Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices. (Mordechai) You get it? Karbanot are sacrifices (even if now we decided to spell it with a 'k', and it was with a 'c' a sentence ago). He should've made a sacrifice, finding time to bring the sacrifice. Sacrifices take sacrifices. Since the beginning of Elul, the blowing has been good Shofar. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? So far. Shofar. Instead so far, we wrote 'Shofar.' The Shofar is the horn we blow. They wanted to clean the silver on the Torah. Instead, they Polished it. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? People from Poland are Polish. They should‘ve polished the silver. Nobody knows what it means. Maybe put a Polish person on it. If you're Polish, we do not mean to offend you. At the Kibbitzer, we are sure that many Polish know how to polish very well. And we are also sure that many Polish people are very bad at polishing. We don't discriminate. In what month does light shine out of the table? Tish-ray. (Mordechai) You get it? Tishrei is the Jewish month. A Tish is a table in Yiddish. Ray coming out of the table. It‘s because of all the holidays in Tishrei, that it shines. Education. Puns are about education. When you build a Sukkah, you have to have the right in-tent. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Intent. In tent. The Sukkah is a tent. You also need to have the right intent, Kavanah, when building a Sukkah. It all comes together in a pun.. Adam and Chava ate a lot of apples to fulfill the Mitzah to be fruitful. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? We are told to be fruitful and multiply. Apples are a fruit. They‘re told to not eat from the Tree of Knowledge. They ate. So much here. Levels. Tags:
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This has been a good year Shofar. You get it? So far. Shofar. The guy had a lisp. He was positive. He said it before Rosh Hashana, which was a little early. But that’s what positive thinkers do. 
Siman/im- a) Known as signs, this is when Jews get violent with fruit on Rosh Hashana, as food can be used for desert and to curse our enemies. As we’re not violent, we summon H’ to do this for us with vegetation such as kiwi and dates. Sentence: ‘May it by Thy will… our enemies die like a pomegranate… May our enemies be juiced.’ b) The reason I had nightmares on Rosh Hashana, about cabbage.
Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
Thursday - Sept. 17 @ 7pm Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY For Tickets Click Here 
The Talmud (Keritut 6a) encourages us to eat symbolic food on Rosh Hashana because “symbolism has meaning.” Thus, we focus on puns about carrots to connect to H’. We focus our prayers on what happens to our enemies who don’t keep pomegranates. Pomegranates means Mitzvahs. Good Jews understand this, as they know how to curse out enemies with vegetation.
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
10/18/2023
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