Jewish Puns XVI: Mordechai’s Shivim Panim LaTorah

by Mordechai Stein

His mom got him ribbons for Lag BOmer. He said he wanted to make bows. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? It's supposed to be bows and arrows. Not ribbons. Ribbon bows don't work as good weapons and they don't shoot far. She misunderstood.

He prayed behind a Chasid in Jerusalem. He was told to go pray a at the coattail. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Kotel. Coattail. He was in Jerusalem. It's Yom Yerushalayim. The Kotel is in Jerusalem. Chasidim wear long coats. Kotel. Coattail. They sound the same if you say ‘coattail’ very fast.

Why did the holiday last fourteen days? They were celebrating Shavuot. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Shavuot means weeks. Seven days would be 'Shavua'. Celebrating Shavuot. That's at least two weeks. 21 days would just be crazy. Puns should be realistic.

A Jew can eat bacon, but only a bit. (Mordechai)
You get it? Bacon bits are kosher. Bacon is not kosher. If you eat the bits it's OK. You still can't eat pig. Not even a bit. We don't want to mis-educate our students.

The little girl was eating potato kugel with a plate on her lap. It was a Kiddish. (Mordechai)
You get it? Kiddish. Kid and dish together makes Kiddish. The dish was on a kid. Next time we will talk about chicken fingers. That's also a kid dish. Kiddish. You get it. So many great ways to prepare a kid dish. One is with Kichel.

I had that feeling to learn Gemara. Maybe some Daf Yomi. I was in a Talmud. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Mood. Talmud. Dads learn Gemara. I don't know what Tal means. Maybe dew. Learning about damp ground.

The Hillel sandwich was bitter at the Seder. We were eating it for Korach. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Korech is when we have the Hillel sandwich on Pesach. Korach was the one who rebelled against Moshe. Korach was bitter. Korach. Korech. You get it.