Jews cleared their throats when they were told they had to donate a half Shekel. They heard Kofer Nafsho. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Kofer Nafsho. An atonement for the body or soul (you can define Nefesh as you would like- if you're spiritual you can call it 'soul'). The atonement was a half a shekel. They mistook Kofer for cougher. Coughing for the soul... Coughing a lot should be an atonement. All the Dayanim are getting together to form their own social network: Link Din (Mordechai) You get it? Dayanim are judges. Din is judgement. Linkedin is a social network. This is Link Din. Where judges network. Why are there different kinds of sacrifices? Because they needed to be brought to an altar. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Altar. Alter. Change. Different word. Alterations if the offering had clothes. They might have needed to hem the pants for Gd. Our Israeli guests left our Seder. They were offended when we said 'Tzei uLmad.' (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Tzei means 'go' or 'go out.' You would be offended, if you knew Hebrew and were told to get out and learn. To tell that to people as one of the first things when they come to your home, it's a Chutzpah, even if it's part of the Haggadah. It's better to not understand. Lmad means 'learn.' What kind of Chametz can you eat on a Pesach trip? Karpas. (Mordechai) You get it? Karpas is part of the Seder. Kar is car. Pas means bread. We would say Pat, but that wouldn't work and Frum Jews wouldn't be able to share the pun. Pesach is over, but you can use it next year. This pun will work next Passover. Trust us. A crowd pleaser. Who do you call in the spring? You call your friend in in Tel-Aviv. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Tel, telephone. Aviv is spring in Hebrew. That was for Yom HaAtzmaut. Substitute phone with Aviv. It works. The Kibbitzer. Your place for bilingual puns. We'll work in French soon. Yom Kippur Davening took twelve hours. The Chazin was told to fast. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? It's a fast. He thought they were saying to slow down. The Chazin mistook the word 'to' for 'too.' If they would've spelled it, he might have understood. Tags:
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Israelis excel at jujitsu because they followed the Sensei who said, “Ju-do.” You get it? Jew do. Ju do. That’s how he pronounced judo. I think. You can’t plural ju-do as jus-do. That’d kill the pun. You have to read it. Some things in life only work in writing. Which is why my doctor writes the prescriptions. 
The Mountains- Where Jews go for the summer and the only mountains in the Oylam. The ‘world’ being New York. Where Yiddishkeit is based. A Jewish city, in the summer The Mountains is part of Brooklyn. Affectionately called the Catskills for those purchasing postcards, The Mountains must be capitalized. See Bungalow for how giving up a three-million-dollar home for a shack makes sense. See Goyim for people who still don’t realize The Mountains is part of Brooklyn, and a nation who is trying to figure out how traffic got to Monticello.
Show was amazing... Looking forward to sharing laughs with your community. Shoot an email to [email protected] to bring David out for laughs and song.
With the Maccabiah, questions of Bitul Torah come up. Bitul Torah, wasting time from learning Torah, is something we don’t do as Jews. And there are many reasons given for this. The most convincing one being not getting your allowance.
The Maccabiah needs more Torah involved. Excessive sports is Bitul Torah. I support gymnastics. But you can’t just have gymnastics. One must be learning Gemara when competing on the bars. As part of Color War, we always had a Bracha Bee. The Maccabiah. athletes from the different countries should be competing at Tefilat HaDerech. And it’s practical for their trip home. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
4/29/2023
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