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Others were to be blessed by Yakov and non-central flowing water. H' told him they will be blessed 'by you and your offspring.' (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Offspring. His children are offspring. Ot it's a spring somewhere out in the middle of nowhere. Off the path. Spring off. Offspring. It might be a spring in the bed mattress that isn't doing it's job. A spring that is off.
Kashrus Alert: If you are going to smoke marijuana make sure it is Pot Yisroel! (Mordechai)
You get it? Pot is pot. It is also bread. People eat Pas Yisrael. Or Pat Yisrael. Here he's talking about cannabis. A religious pot smoker. It's a pun. We're not supporting pot. Please note, we also don't support puns about pot and cookware.
When Yosef visited his brothers, everybody was down in the pits. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? The brothers were probably 'down in the pits.' They threw Yosef in the pit. Hearing they threw Yosef in the pit got me down in the pits. Hopefully they didn't have avocados down there. Those have very big pits. Fruit pit. Pit pit. In the pits. Pits in avocados.
Paroh was sleeping for two years. As the Torah says, 'MiKeitz Shenataim.' (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? 'Miketz Shenataim' means at the end of two year. 'Sheina'' means sleep. Use Shenataim for both words. Put it together and you have 'at the end of two years of sleeping.' That's a long nap. And you can use that Shena and Shenataim pun anytime you hear sleep in Hebrew... It's good we have Rashi.
What do Chasidim with a red bekishe sing? 'Jingle Belz.' (Mordechai)
You get it? The Belz Chasidic dynasty. 'Jingle Bells' is the song sung on Christmas. Jews don't sing that. They would sing about Belz. The Chasidim. 'Jingle Belz.' Still a jingle.
Mitzrayim fell apart because they were serving bad juice. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Mitz, juice. Ra'im, bad. Bad juice. Bazooka Joe should use that one. It's good, and can help people learn Hebrew. Bazooka Joe has a duty to educate the children.
The work the slaves did was nothing close to as labor intensive as Miriam and Yocheved's task. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Work and being told to kill newborn boys. Yocheved and Miriam, Shifrah and Puah the midwives, were told to kill the Jewish babies. Intense. Labor and labor. The pun is in the word labor.
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The Falafel of Etan
Israelis are very possessive of their falafel. Even when they have a shop, they don't like to share it… That's Etan. Standing over them while they eat. Making sure they don't run away with his falafel.