They asked him questions about holiday laws and traditions, because he had Simcha. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? They mistook Simcha for Smicha. Simcha is happiness. Smicha is rabbinic ordination. You usually ask the rabbi questions about Jewish laws and traditions. People like asking happy people questions. Simchat Torah is coming up. You're supposed to be happy on holidays. That was the impetus for this pun. Felt it important to explain. Without an explanation, this pun cannot be understood; which is what makes this an excellent pun. He left the shul real dirty after Sukkot with his Lulav and Hoshanos, and leaves. You get it? Hoshonos are willow branches. The leaves get left on the floor after we whack them on Hoshana Rabbah. He leaves leaves there. And he leaves, and he leaves a mess too. With leaves. Puns are about the lesson. Not the humor. What’s it called when a bird gets hit at a baseball game? A fowl ball. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? A foul ball is when a baseball is hit out of play. Fowl is birds. The ball could've been in play, but it hit a bird. Hence, a fowl ball. That would be ironic; a fowl ball that's not a foul ball. Noach also saves birds in the Parsha. He didn't save baseball games- another pun waiting to happen. How much did Avraham take to Canaan? Not sure. He definitely took a Lot. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? He took his nephew Lot along, as well as a lot of other people and stuff. A Lot. A lot. Spelled the same, but with a different pronunciation. He took somebody named Lot. Who was the teacher in the first place Avraham settled? Elon. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Elon Moreh is the first place Avraham settles when he's in Israel. Moreh means teacher. Elon was the teacher's name. With puns, education comes first. We're very proud of the educational value of this pun. Efron didn't want to sell the field, but Avraham got him to cave in. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? The field Avraham bought was that of the Cave of Machpelah, MaArat Hamachpelah. The cave is in the field. Efron caved in and sold it. That's your pun for this week. Education. Esav wanted soup on top of the door. But Yaakov didn't have any lintel soup. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? A lintel is a beam on top of a door. It sounds like lentil. Same letters. We learn the red stuff Esav wanted was lentil soup. Lintel. Lentil. What's the difference... Jews will get blamed. Tags:
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My friend’s pig wanted to wish you all a Hog Sameach. You get it? Chag Sameach. Americans can’t say the “Chet.” They say “Hag Sameach.” But this is a hog. So, Hog Sameach. A pig would say that. Most American say “Happy Holiday.” Americans aren’t pigs. Eating too much on Sukkot does not make you a pig. It makes you a person with an upset stomach, who put on twelve pounds. I hope that clears up any misconceptions about why the pig is saying “Hog Sameach,” and people from the US do not. Though, Americans can be quite friendly. 
Sukkah- A hut that is poorly built. Not a mitzvah. H’ knew that is the best a Jew can do. No Jew can build anything that lasts longer than seven days. And that is without rain. My Brother-in-law Teaching his Son to Build: ‘What you gotta do is take the soft side. Then you take the hard side of the Velcro. Tap as such… take the metal. Slip it through canvas. That’s how we build…’
Hakafot on Simchat Torah isn’t a Mitzvah. It’s tradition. Please don’t pull me into the dancing circle. It’s very uncomfortable. I don’t know when the tradition of pulling self-conscious people who don’t know how to dance, into a circle of people who don’t know how to dance, started.
I love the Torah. Let me celebrate the Torah as I do, by throwing candies at kids. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
11/30/2022
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