How did they travel to Jerusalem to bring sacrifices? In a car-bon. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Karbon is Hebrew for sacrifice. Sacrifices in the Temple. They traveled there. Carbon is a chemical, and not part of the pun. I can't explain the 'bon' part. A car bomb would be wrong. When delivering this pun, focus on the 'car' part. Draw attention to ‘car.’ What Bracha do you make on a boat? Shehakol nehiyeh bidva row-row-row. (Mordechai) You get it? The Shehakol blessing is the blessing everybody makes on water. A boat is in water. The song 'Row Row Row Your Boat' is about a boat. Why did the entertainer take prisoners? He wanted a captive audience. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? The captive audience joke works every year. So many iterations. It's amazing. Create your own pun about people taken captive. They have to laugh at it. Amazing joke when people are locked up. Great way to start any bit. And all puns are best when done in question form. Why did they visit their friends? They were told to do Bikurim. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Bikurim is the first fruits. Also means to 'visit with,' if we're talking Hebrew and you split up the word. The Temple didn't see those fruits, as they misunderstood what to do. Some puns are not meant to be funny. They are meant to be educational. Please remind me to say Hatarat Nedarim before Rosh Hashana. I promised I wouldn't forget it this year. (Mordechai) You get it? Hatarat Nedarim is annulling vows. He vowed he wouldn't forget to annul the vows. Another vow. He has to annul that too. If he doesn't show up, he's in trouble. I was going to do Kaparos before Yom Kippur, but I chickened out. (Mordechai) You get it? Kaparos is the tradition of placing your sins on something else, the day before Yom Kippur, traditionally a chicken, and waiving it. He chickened out of the chicken. He might've done it with money in the end. But that would still be without a chicken. I paid for a top of the line Etrog, but ended up with a real lemon. (Mordechai) You get it? Etrogs are a citrus fruit. They look like lemons. You can't use a lemon as an Etrog on Sukkot. Kids do, because they can't tell the difference. Cars that are lemons are not good. So the Etrog wasn't good. It was a lemon. Tags:
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What’s an ant that wants family to be at their wedding? A cantaloupe! You get it? An antelope would be an ant that can elope. Science. This one can't. Hence, cantaloupe. It's a religious ant. C-ant-aloupe. Not the fruit. A type of ant. Ant is in there, in the middle. The ant can't elope. It's a religious ant. Wants her family to be there. And she likes fruit. That ant that shows up at the wedding is your mother’s sister that doesn’t hate you. 
Chason/Chatan- A man whose family members tell him, after the wedding, that his life will change. Sentence: ‘Now your decisions aren’t yours.’ Said by his uncle, to remind him that his uncle made a bad decision and he regrets it. Another Sentence: ‘Just remember these words: “I am sorry.”’ Response: A required laugh, from everybody who already heard Uncle Tivi say this at every Sheva Brachot. Response from the Chatan: ‘Why did nobody mention this until now?! Would you not think this is something you would have brought up before the wedding?!
Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
Thursday - Sept. 17 @ 7pm Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY For Tickets Click Here 
(Nidda 30b) Before birth you learn all of Torah. And then an angel comes hits you on your mouth, and you forget it. We learn much from this comforting teaching, knowing how easily we forget stuff. And this is why I did bad in Gemara class. We also learn that angels have a very violent temper.
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
10/9/2022
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