How did Ha-Shem get the burning bush to ignite? It was a match made in Heaven.
You get it? The bush was from heaven. Sometimes, a pun is about the meaning it brings to your life. Why did the Jews want to leave Egypt? Because the juice was bad... Mitz Ra'im. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Mitz Ra'im means bad juice. Egypt is Mitzrayim. Another brilliant bilingual Biblical pun. We stayed away from the Jews juice pun, because we have high standards. What do you give a dog who's good at math? A chesh-bone. You get it? Cheshbon is an invoice in Hebrew, also used to mean math. Really smart dogs say Matimatikah. Plagues affect the animals. The Parsha last week... To understand our puns, we suggest you take up Semitic languages. Why couldn't they figure out the type of wheat it was? Because of the way it was spelt. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Spell a word. Spelt is a type of wheat. Tu BShvat is about the seven species of Israel. One is wheat. Educational too. The guide dogs that wandered with the Jews were called Seen-eye Dogs. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Mount Sinai. Seeing eye sounds like Sinai, if you pronounce 'Sinai' in proper Hebrew. And, maybe Ten Commandment dogs did help blind people. A spiritual pun, and phonetically sound too. Note: You have to say 'seeing eye' very fast, and without the 'g,' for it to sound like Sinai. Unlike a Canaanite slave, if you knock out a Jewish slave's teeth, he doesn't go free. He's only an in'denture'd servant. You get it? The Jewish slave's teeth aren't real. Dentures. They celebrated a lot in the Mikdash (the Temple). That's why they used acacia wood. It's good for all acacians. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Acacia, Occasions. We did our part. That's close enough. Tags:
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These love birds at shul, they both had such soft skin. So much Ahava. You get it? Ahava is love. Ahava is a company that sells Dead Sea products like lotions. They had a lot of love and hand cream. Ahava can be used for both. That's how this one works. 
For some reason, I don’t trust the crossing guards. I don’t know what kind of course they took to run traffic... Truthfully, I don’t think they were properly trained in road regulations. I’m afraid that one kid is coming at the other to attack him with the sign.
I have a feeling these third graders are not taking their job seriously. No work ethic. One kid gave up and took off the vest. I’m thinking that your parents should let you cross the street alone, before running crosswalks. 
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(Shemot 22:4-5) If your animal ruins somebody else’s field or you start a fire, you have to pay. You have to pay for being an idiot that nobody likes. And if you slam your locker at my gym, it’s a Mitzvah to smack you. That's a Psak.
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
2/10/2022
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