KIBBITZER
Your Weekly Jewish Humor Magazine for a Gazunta Laugh about Life
DONATE to the Kibbitzer Adar Fundraiser
CLICK HERE to partner with the JHF
spreading Jewish laughter and joy
  • Articles
  • Shabbat Printout
    • Shabbat Printout Year I
  • Health and Healing
    • Torah Humor
  • About Us
    • Partner and Dedicate
    • Subscribe
    • Get In Touch
    • Contributors
    • FAQ
    • Terms of Use
The Blog Search and Random Post Generator will appear here on the published site.
We found
results for you
We've got nothin'!
The Blog Category Slider will appear here on the published site.
Popular Tags
The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.

Jewish Puns V: Mordechai's Shivim Punim LaTorah

12/30/2021

0 Comments

 

by Mordechai Stein

Picture
A coworker just complained that the work is eating at her kishkas. I told her she should see a derma'tologist.
You get it? Derma means intestines and kishka means intestines. Dermatologists don't deal with intestines. Stuffed derma tastes excellent.

How do we know a salmon that's on fire is Ashkenaz? Cause it's a lit-fish.
You get it? Litvish are Lithuanian Jews. Most are connected to the Ashkenaz Yeshivas. The fish is lit.
 
To appease Esav, Yaakov sent Doron. That's why we never hear about that son. (Rabbi Mendel)
You get it? Doron means gifts and is a name. Esav hates Yaakov. So, Yaakov splits his family, and sends Esav gifts.
 
Nobody wanted to eat the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner. It was really ofe.  (Rabbi Mendel) 
You get it? 'Off' means it didn't taste right. 'Ofe' means chicken in Hebrew. Turkey is not chicken, even in Israel. We bring you the best bilingual puns.

My kids left half-eaten Chanukah gelt, and I was stuck with some Bitcoin.
You get it? A lot of times, Chanukah gelt is chocolate coins. People bite those, makin them bit. Bitcoin is...

My black hat is not floppy. It’s always in a solid state.
You get it? Black hat brims can be flimsy or firm, as in a solid state. Computers used to have floppy disks. Solid state hard drive.

I bought a loaf of bread but returned it to the store because it was overbaked. It was a Mekach Toast.
You get it? Mekach Taot is a faulty sale. Toast. Add an 's.' Another brilliant and educational bilingual Halachik pun. 
The Blog Tags Widget will appear here on the published site.
Tags:
0 Comments
The Recommended Content Widget will appear here on the published site.

You Might Also Like

First Last



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Why are there different kinds of sacrifices? Because they needed to be brought to an altar.
    You get it? Altar. Alter. Change. Different word. Alterations if the offering had clothes. They might have needed to hem the pants.
    Picture
    That is how the punchline of a Jewish joke should look. Like you're questioning something, dealing with serious stomach issues, or giving a sermon.

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021

    Categories

    All
    Aliyah
    Antisemitism
    Anti Semitism
    Bar/Bat Mitzvah
    Cartoon
    Chanukah
    Community
    COVID
    David Kilimnick
    Education
    Entertainment
    Europe
    Excercise
    Family
    Food
    Frum
    Halachot
    History
    Holiday
    Holidays
    Inspiration
    Interviews
    Israel
    Israelis
    Jerusalem
    Jewish
    Jewish Jokes
    Kosher
    Lag BOmer
    Marriage
    Mikakel Kaleekaku
    Mitzvot
    Moishe Unklovitch
    Mordechai Stein
    Netanel Kraus
    News
    Nonprofits
    Organziations
    Parsha
    Passover
    Pesach
    Pictures
    Politics
    Puns
    Purim
    Rabbi David
    Rebbes
    Religion
    Rivka Schwartz
    Rosh Hashana
    Scenes
    School
    Sermons Of Rebuke
    Shabbat
    Shavuot
    Shmulik
    Shul
    Simchas
    Singles
    Sports
    Stories Of Inspiration
    Style
    Sukkot
    Summer
    Tisha BAv
    Torah
    USA
    Wedding
    Wise Men Of Chelm
    Yeshiva
    Yom HaAtzmaut
    Yom Kippur
    Youth

    RSS Feed

DONATE to the Kibbitzer Adar Fundraiser
CLICK HERE to partner with the JHF
spreading Jewish laughter and joy
Picture
Contact Us
FAQ
Terms of Use
Sponsor
​Dedicate Article
About Us
Contributors
Home Page
Subscribe to The Kibbitzer
© 2021 Kibbitzer Magazine and JHF. All rights reserved.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.

​The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
  • Articles
  • Shabbat Printout
    • Shabbat Printout Year I
  • Health and Healing
    • Torah Humor
  • About Us
    • Partner and Dedicate
    • Subscribe
    • Get In Touch
    • Contributors
    • FAQ
    • Terms of Use