A coworker just complained that the work is eating at her kishkas. I told her she should see a derma'tologist.
You get it? Derma means intestines and kishka means intestines. Dermatologists don't deal with intestines. Stuffed derma tastes excellent. How do we know a salmon that's on fire is Ashkenaz? Cause it's a lit-fish. You get it? Litvish are Lithuanian Jews. Most are connected to the Ashkenaz Yeshivas. The fish is lit. To appease Esav, Yaakov sent Doron. That's why we never hear about that son. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Doron means gifts and is a name. Esav hates Yaakov. So, Yaakov splits his family, and sends Esav gifts. Nobody wanted to eat the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner. It was really ofe. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? 'Off' means it didn't taste right. 'Ofe' means chicken in Hebrew. Turkey is not chicken, even in Israel. We bring you the best bilingual puns. My kids left half-eaten Chanukah gelt, and I was stuck with some Bitcoin. You get it? A lot of times, Chanukah gelt is chocolate coins. People bite those, makin them bit. Bitcoin is... My black hat is not floppy. It’s always in a solid state. You get it? Black hat brims can be flimsy or firm, as in a solid state. Computers used to have floppy disks. Solid state hard drive. I bought a loaf of bread but returned it to the store because it was overbaked. It was a Mekach Toast. You get it? Mekach Taot is a faulty sale. Toast. Add an 's.' Another brilliant and educational bilingual Halachik pun. Tags:
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Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY For Tickets Click Here 
My friend’s pig wanted to wish you all a Hog Sameach. You get it? Chag Sameach. Americans can’t say the “Chet.” They say “Hag Sameach.” But this is a hog. So, Hog Sameach. A pig would say that. Most American say “Happy Holiday.” Americans aren’t pigs. Eating too much on Sukkot does not make you a pig. It makes you a person with an upset stomach, who put on twelve pounds. I hope that clears up any misconceptions about why the pig is saying “Hog Sameach,” and people from the US do not. Though, Americans can be quite friendly. 
Sukkah- A hut that is poorly built. Not a mitzvah. H’ knew that is the best a Jew can do. No Jew can build anything that lasts longer than seven days. And that is without rain. My Brother-in-law Teaching his Son to Build: ‘What you gotta do is take the soft side. Then you take the hard side of the Velcro. Tap as such… take the metal. Slip it through canvas. That’s how we build…’
Hakafot on Simchat Torah isn’t a Mitzvah. It’s tradition. Please don’t pull me into the dancing circle. It’s very uncomfortable. I don’t know when the tradition of pulling self-conscious people who don’t know how to dance, into a circle of people who don’t know how to dance, started.
I love the Torah. Let me celebrate the Torah as I do, by throwing candies at kids. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
12/30/2021
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