A coworker just complained that the work is eating at her kishkas. I told her she should see a derma'tologist.
You get it? Derma means intestines and kishka means intestines. Dermatologists don't deal with intestines. Stuffed derma tastes excellent. How do we know a salmon that's on fire is Ashkenaz? Cause it's a lit-fish. You get it? Litvish are Lithuanian Jews. Most are connected to the Ashkenaz Yeshivas. The fish is lit. To appease Esav, Yaakov sent Doron. That's why we never hear about that son. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? Doron means gifts and is a name. Esav hates Yaakov. So, Yaakov splits his family, and sends Esav gifts. Nobody wanted to eat the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner. It was really ofe. (Rabbi Mendel) You get it? 'Off' means it didn't taste right. 'Ofe' means chicken in Hebrew. Turkey is not chicken, even in Israel. We bring you the best bilingual puns. My kids left half-eaten Chanukah gelt, and I was stuck with some Bitcoin. You get it? A lot of times, Chanukah gelt is chocolate coins. People bite those, makin them bit. Bitcoin is... My black hat is not floppy. It’s always in a solid state. You get it? Black hat brims can be flimsy or firm, as in a solid state. Computers used to have floppy disks. Solid state hard drive. I bought a loaf of bread but returned it to the store because it was overbaked. It was a Mekach Toast. You get it? Mekach Taot is a faulty sale. Toast. Add an 's.' Another brilliant and educational bilingual Halachik pun. Tags:
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If somebody at the Seder tells you the salt water is low in sodium, take it with a grain of salt. You get it? Salt has sodium. So, take more salt. Whatever you need to do to make the Seder more meaningful, by making things harder to eat, do it. We bring our puns to add to your Passover experience. If you’re the one who made the salt water, you can share the joy of Mordechai’s pun, while handing someone a grain of salt. When delivering puns, always ask, “What would Mordechai do?” Oh. "Take it with a grain of salt" means don't take it to heart. Now you get the pun. 
I did not clean that shelf last year. The mushrooms might not be fresh. Yet, that can is sealed nice and tight. I am at an impasse… Thank Gd for Pesach. I’m must’ve not got to that cupboard since 2008.
That’s why those cans are good. They remind you how long it’s been since you cleaned. 
Click on the picture for tickets to share laughs with David Kilimnick in Jerusalem on Thursday, February 12th
Due to leaving Mitzrayim in haste, we are commanded to eat Matzah, a “poor man’s bread” (Devarim 16:3). I am fulfilling that Mitzvah. After purchasing Shmura Matzah, I’m out of money.
Let me explain. Though it's a poor man's bread, Shmura Matzah can be very expensive. The boxed machine Matzah, sold at a dollar-fifty a pound, is probably what the Torah was talking about. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
12/30/2021
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