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My shul is looking for a seasoned Chazzan this Rosh Hashana. Applicants must reveal how much salt and pepper they're wearing.
You get it? Seasoned means experienced and spices. Brilliance. I couldn't read my notes at the memorial service and thought it was emotions, till I was told 'It's Yahrzeit.' (Rabbi Mendel's) You get it? The Yahrzeit is the yearly day of commemoration of one’s passing. Said fast, it’s pronounced ‘your site.' A dark pun for Shabbat Nachamu. We wanted to play something that wasn't too exciting, so we played a board game. (Rabbi Mendel’s) You get it? Board. Bored. Like any good pun, it has to be phonetic. Close your eyes and say it now. You see?! And it's Jewish tradition to play board games on Shabbat. The shul's Torah wasn't kosher, so some congregants went on Sefaria for a Torah scroll. (Rabbi Mendel’s) You get it? The shul needed a new Torah scroll. The congregants went to Sefaria, a computer program with Torah, that people learn from. You scroll down a website! The young man in shul was pursuing the girl, so he took her to the Beit Din, to court her. (Rabbi Mendel’s) You get it? Beit Din is a court. You court for romance. This week's Parsha talks about court and righteous judgment. I would like to thank my student, Bella, for her help on this brilliance. We did a show for soldiers who laughed at everything. They were a captive audience. (Rabbi Mendel’s) You get it? Captive audience is people who have to be there. People taken captive are prisoners. The soldiers were laughing cause they had to. The Parsha talks of a woman taken captive. The Shofar guy at our shul last year. I don't know what others are thinking. He really blew it. You get it? You blow the shofar. 'He blew it' means he did a bad job. Didn't blow well. Double meaning.
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How these work, I don’t know. I appreciate all the healthy cookies and chips... I put on a few pounds eating a lot of healthy. It seems that too many healthy peanut butter cups will also get you fat. False advertisement.
![]() David Kilimnick - Israel's "Father of Anglo Comedy" (JPost) is not touring with his Israel solidarity show. Bring David to your community, college campus, shul, home, to share laughs of Jewish unity... 585-738-9233 [email protected]
It’s tradition to eat more fruit on Tu BShvat, to praise Gd for his creation and to walk around with an upset stomach.
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9/1/2021
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