My shul is looking for a seasoned Chazzan this Rosh Hashana. Applicants must reveal how much salt and pepper they're wearing.
You get it? Seasoned means experienced and spices. Brilliance. I couldn't read my notes at the memorial service and thought it was emotions, till I was told 'It's Yahrzeit.' (Rabbi Mendel's) You get it? The Yahrzeit is the yearly day of commemoration of one’s passing. Said fast, it’s pronounced ‘your site.' A dark pun for Shabbat Nachamu. We wanted to play something that wasn't too exciting, so we played a board game. (Rabbi Mendel’s) You get it? Board. Bored. Like any good pun, it has to be phonetic. Close your eyes and say it now. You see?! And it's Jewish tradition to play board games on Shabbat. The shul's Torah wasn't kosher, so some congregants went on Sefaria for a Torah scroll. (Rabbi Mendel’s) You get it? The shul needed a new Torah scroll. The congregants went to Sefaria, a computer program with Torah, that people learn from. You scroll down a website! The young man in shul was pursuing the girl, so he took her to the Beit Din, to court her. (Rabbi Mendel’s) You get it? Beit Din is a court. You court for romance. This week's Parsha talks about court and righteous judgment. I would like to thank my student, Bella, for her help on this brilliance. We did a show for soldiers who laughed at everything. They were a captive audience. (Rabbi Mendel’s) You get it? Captive audience is people who have to be there. People taken captive are prisoners. The soldiers were laughing cause they had to. The Parsha talks of a woman taken captive. The Shofar guy at our shul last year. I don't know what others are thinking. He really blew it. You get it? You blow the shofar. 'He blew it' means he did a bad job. Didn't blow well. Double meaning.
Click to set custom HTML
Tags:
The Recommended Content Widget will appear here on the published site.
Leave a Reply. |
He said he was only giving ten percent to charity. They called him a Mayser.
You get it? Miser. Mayser. Mayser is a tithe. They sound alike. If a Mayser was a type of person, it would work. He'd be a Mayser who gives Mayser. The Mayser would be a Miser. 
Respect for our members of Hatzalah. What these guys are willing to do to drive a car on Shabbis... That guy on the right looks too comfortable to save anybody. The guy on the left is the one I would want showing up. He’s got more keys, and that’s the sign of a Hatzalah man that knows what’s going on... I respect them stopping and posing for the picture. It’s a great photo. I just hope the guy they were on their way to made it. (photo: hatzalah.org)
Archives
May 2022
Categories
All
|
Your Weekly Jewish Humor Magazine for a Gazunta Laugh about Life
We found
results for you
We've got nothin'!
RSS Feed
© 2021 Kibbitzer Magazine and JHF. All rights reserved.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
9/1/2021
0 Comments