How A Sefer Looks: A Beginners Guide on Jewish Books

by Rabbi David

I was at a friend's house and noticed that they had no books out. The house did not look Jewish. They had a gazebo. It looked a bit like a Sukkah without walls or Schach. Could've been Jewish, but it wasn't. You want your house to be Jewish, you need Sefarim (books). You need books that look Jewish.
They had a computer. They said the Torah is on it. I didn't see it. I saw an apple on it. No matter how much you use Sefaria, a computer does not look like a Sefer. They had some of those modern books about Jewish recipes. Those don't look like a Sefer. So, how should a Jewish book look? That is the question and we shall answer that for my friend.

Dark Blue, Maroon or Brown
All books should be brown. A maroonish brown that looks a bit dark blue in the sun. Grey is not a religious color. Your books should not be green. No fluorescent colors either, unless if you're crossing the street with them at night.

Gold Trimming On The Cover
Very important. Gold trimming looks religious. It encases the book in religion. I don't know how gold trimming became religious. Nonetheless, it's the most Frum thing in our religion next to using tinfoil. Feldheim might be behind this.

Inside Should Look Old
It should look like it was written eight hundred years ago, and been through every war the Jewish people have endured. It should look like it's been carried through battle.
If it's new, you should've spilled coffee on it already.

No English
Just Hebrew books. You should not understand what you're reading. Good Jews have a penchant for reading stuff they don't understand, and that makes them feel good. It brings happiness and connects them with Gd.
Aramaic is allowed, as it's written in Hebrew and you don't understand it. Same with Yiddish. Yiddish written in English, Asur.
You can have English for Kiruv reasons. Kiruv is bringing Jews closer to Yiddishkeit. Now I have to translate Yiddishkeit. Yiddishkeit is Judaism. For Kiruv reasons, you can also have a TV, a computer, and hit the dance clubs.

No Pictures on The Cover
Is this a Tom Clancy novel? No. It's Torah.
If you have a kids' section to your library this is fine. For Kiruv reasons, you can have a book with pictures too. Non-educated Jews need pictures.
If it's a story about a rebbe the book can be in English and you're allowed to have a picture on the cover. This is a Heter (exemption) the rebbes came up with. Nonetheless, all pictures in the book should be in black and white, and everybody should have a beard.

Kippahs on All Pictures
Kids' books should only have pictures of boys with Kippahs. We're educating the next generation here. If the child isn't Jewish, they should have a Kippah. All shopkeepers should have Kippahs as well. Even if you're not used to seeing Frum Jews work on cars, the mechanic has a yarmulke. Flight attendants have Kippahs. Factory staff has yarmulkes, even if it's not a Matzah factory. Your child should not be exposed to non-yarmulke people, even in written form.

Books Numbered by Daily Readings
As you've adopted a Kiruv section into your library, you have found a way to make it permissible to have English Sefarim.
All English books should be written in day order. Frum Jews don't read in chapters or pages. We're not good with decisions. We read in day form. This is the reason for the new industry of day readers. It all started with Daf Yomi.
Books shouldn't have readers trying to figure out how much to read. It gets very complicated trying to figure out how much you should accomplish in a day. Your Sefarim should give that information to you. It's Bitul Zman (wasting time) trying to figure out how much you should learn in an afternoon. You might end up reading a chapter, and then you're stuck having figuring out what to do tomorrow. It's a nightmare. One should never know of such things. It all leads to Bitul Zman.

All Books Need Haskamas
Also known as a letter of approbation. I used English here to make it harder to understand. And that is why this article is OK to read.
Haskamas allow you to read the book. The less pages of authored work the better. You want at least fifty percent of the book to be permission to read the book. If it's a really good Jewish text, the whole work should be Haskamas. This is why I don't learn Torah. There are no Haskamas.
If it's a kids' book, be sure to have it Haskamas with pictures and Kippahs.
The real question is if you should read the part of the book that is not Haskamas. I have told my congregants that is Asur.

If all you have is a computer, make sure it's a maroonish brown color.