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We were not working, because of the holidays. We don't work on the holidays. It's our custom. We will not be funny for you during Sukkot at any point in time, as it is the holiday season and that is forbidden.
Somehow, not working on holidays gets everybody mad at you, even in our all Jewish office.
All staff at the Kibbitzer is angry at the other staff members right now. They're saying the other staff members are lazy, and that's why they're not working on the holidays that they are all keeping. Taking off for the holidays as a whole staff has caused a lot of anti-Semitism amongst the Jews. To minimize co-hatred of Jews in our office, all Kibbitzer staff has agreed to work Sundays.
One staff member said we should write in the Sukkah. She was called a heretic, and the Jews hated her even more.
Due to nobody getting along, everybody is thinking of starting breakaway magazines, so that they can say that the other magazines are the ones they don't write for.
It was noted to us by our staff that we shouldn’t be writing this piece, as it is a holiday.
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He said he was only giving ten percent to charity. They called him a Mayser.
You get it? Miser. Mayser. Mayser is a tithe. They sound alike. If a Mayser was a type of person, it would work. He'd be a Mayser who gives Mayser. The Mayser would be a Miser.
Respect for our members of Hatzalah. What these guys are willing to do to drive a car on Shabbis... That guy on the right looks too comfortable to save anybody. The guy on the left is the one I would want showing up. He’s got more keys, and that’s the sign of a Hatzalah man that knows what’s going on... I respect them stopping and posing for the picture. It’s a great photo. I just hope the guy they were on their way to made it. (photo: hatzalah.org)