2022 Jewish Year in Review

COVID is not a pandemic anymore and people still don't show up to shul. It turns out they just didn't want to go to shul. After much research over the past three years, it was reported that the COVID pandemic would've been over in three months if people wanted to go to shul.

The war in Ukraine is happening and they're blaming Jews for it.

Kanye West said he doesn't like his manager again. Which means that he hates all Jews, and he feels it's important to let people know that he hates all Jews until he makes more money.

Dave Chappelle cracks jokes about Hollywood being Jewish and says it's not antisemitism. Jews in Hollywood say it's antisemitism. It has been decided that as long as you don't fully agree with Kanye West, you're not an anti-Semite.

The community hosted Seniors Day. It was a beautiful day of recognizing these people didn't die. We'll hopefully see them again next August. Until then, nobody has to see old people.

I only heard Yapchik once this year. Finally, other people feel like they have to upchuck when they hear Yapchik. Yapchik is not the most popular Jewish food anymore. The amazing potato kugel with meat in it has been overtaken by the Jewish food known as beef jerky.
In many households of nonFrum Jews, shepherd's pie is still popular.

Shuls were attacked and bombed.

Antisemitism. There is antisemitism. That's the yearly antisemitism note on antisemitism.

Tent was at Shul for High Holidays for the overflow, even though the shul wasn't full. Being that COVID wasn't the reason for the tent, people just hung out there to not have to pray.

Elon Musk allows for people to post what they are thinking on Twitter. After over fifteen years of social media, it turns out that people are pro-Israel.

People are blaming Elon Musk for everything bad in their lives. He's not Jewish and they're blaming the Jews for him.
It turns out his name is Elon, because he wants to meet an Israeli girl for his next wife.

Mark Schwartz was honored for knowing people. The shul needed money and he is popular, so he was honored. This was the fifth time in six years that we honored somebody for 'knowing people.' We pray that somebody in the congregation will save a life at some point, so we can honor somebody for that too.

The Jewish Federation still needs your money.

The Jewish Federation started another legacy project. The funds from the previous legacy projects that failed are not there.

Israel had elections again. Guess what, Bibi is trying to put together a Unity Government. This announcement will be in next year's Year in Review.

The Yom Hashoah program was a great event. Friends getting together and sharing laughter. Lots of memorable pictures, as seen on Rachel's social media.

Jewish is finally an acceptable gender pronoun.

Three quarters of American Jews moved down to Florida, and they haven't even retired yet. Now Jews have a reputation as a very lazy people, who don't work even in their thirties. Kanye West agrees that all Jews are lazy.

More annual dinners took place for the Jewish day school, the Jewish Family Services, the other Jewish day school, the other Jewish day school, the nursery, the other Jewish nurseries, the Jewish high school, Michal's GoFundMe page, Sima's orthodontist work, the new ping pong table in the youth lounge, the Jewish Community Center, the Christian Foundation for Sports, the food pantry, The Acts of Loving Kindness Foundation, the other shul dinner, the dinner for the other shul, the other dinner for the other shul, the other shuls' dinners, Chabad, the other Chabad, the other Chabad run by the same person, and the Jewish Federation that funds them all. Anybody who didn't give to all the organizations is a miser. The community doesn't love them. We're sorry that none of the people that use the food pantry were able to afford the annual dinner.

The Shabbat Project was unsuccessful. Not enough money was raised for it, so there was no Shabbat this year.

The economy has taken a big hit, and they're blaming Jews for it.

Antisemitism happened.

Jewish parents have been working tirelessly to figure out a solution for the Jewish crisis. And still, no solution has been found for Jewish day school tuition.
This year, again, none of the families paid full tuition, except for two families who are not very happy. They found out they're the only ones paying. It turns out, they're the only ones who went to Jewish day school and never learned how to finagle. That's what Kanye West said.

A new popular Jewish catch phrase has taken hold. ‘That’s what Kanye said.’ One of the most well-known ones is ‘Russia is run by Jews… That’s what Kanye said.’