​Physicans Know Some Stuff

by David Kilimnick

Thoughts from a Waiting Room #17

The medical staff is valuable. I now understand that. I tried holding a scalpel. I can’t. They grabbed it from me. That's the law. A scalpel in the hands of a civilian is considered a weapon. For doctors, they consider it a medical instrument. And context turns into law.

I Have to Get Out of the Way
It took a while to educate me as to the importance of doctors performing the surgical procedure themselves.
It took a while to educate me as to the importance of doctors and nurses in the healing process. I am the one doing the praying. As I have been taught throughout my years in Jewish day school and Yeshiva, Gd heals people. Never once did we learn about the importance of the doctor in the healing process. I never said that prayer in shul.
The prayer was always to Gd, about the sick getting better. Never did we say the prayer, "Please doctor, heal the sick." With that kind of message, the shul would've lost a number of its members. We definitely would've lost the daily Minyin. Without death and tragedy, and Gd, people are not showing up for services. Our community thrives off Gd's involvement in sickness.
The hospital doesn't need the rabbis preaching on their behalf. From my understanding, the hospital is doing quite well with donations, without Gd.
If my rabbi would've just said to look down the row and "ask that guy who shows up late for services, talks during Davening, and takes calls in shul on Friday night, to heal you," I would probably give doctors more credit as healers. But Gd is the healer, and the doctor is the guy who shows up late and talks during the cantor's repetition of the Amidah. He is going to Gehenim. My understanding is he has a place in hell. 

They Truly Tried Getting Me Out of the Room
First time, they said they needed me out of the room I came at them, "So, you get to make the decisions around here, because you know what blood pressure means?... I see how this is going to work… So the doctor did not say that my sitting in the guest chair is medical protocol?!"
They've come up with weird excuses to get us out of the room. One of the nurses said they had to change the patient. I came back in the room. It was the same gown. They've said everything. They've even said stuff like, "We need to take blood right now." One said something like, "We are working with IVs." I was fine with that, and then they kicked me out. To get me out of the room one of the aides even told me, "A cousin of yours just brought pizza. It's in the waiting room."
Their true goal is to get me out to the waiting room. It's a hard task to keep on convincing families to wait. The guy was in a coma. The nursing staff had them in the waiting room for three months. Every day they had to reconvince them to go to the waiting room.
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I'm Still Praying
I get it, medical staff is important. We're all indebted to them. We're indebted for all the great machinery they've created. But I'm a believer in Gd. I'm a believer that the doctors and nurses are doing Gd’s work. I'm a believer in living for a reason, and we are part of the patient’s strength. I'm a believer that all of our prayers and love from everywhere is part of the healing process. Damn. You do not want me around when you are helping somebody in my family. 
You can't shake out the family members who believe. The ones who are there praying. They know that Gd heals. The doctor does the surgery. Gd heals. 
If I get going, you’ll see a community vigil right outside unit four. That's how you help. The medical staff doesn't see that as medically helpful. And the security staff sees that as breaking and entering.

I Will Get in the Way
I will get in the way with my prayers. And that is what is going to happen. nurses have to be ready for me. They need seminars for how to deal with me.
I really am annoying. I'm not just praying. I'm praying and worried. I'm praying there and telling the nurses to check the vent pressure, again. I'm asking nurses about clots, about oxygen saturation. Telling them to suction again. Asking them why Mom is on "that side now." "Whatever that tube is, do something with it." "A number is higher than it was before. Is oxygen important?"
Questioning why something isn’t being done about the blood pressure. That's not a prayer. Yet, I'm on top of it. I don't know if Gd answers the blood pressure prayer yet. I don’t even know what blood pressure is. I know the number has to be over a hundred, somewhere. I know that some squeezy thing is supposed to make my arm uncomfortable for half a minute. 
Me not praying gets in the way of the nurses even more.
I am going to keep on praying. Maybe I'll head to shul.
 
Conclusions
I tried using the scalpel. Couldn’t even get a straight cut in my apple. There are things physicians can do legally, such as holding scalpels in the ICU. I'm also not allowed to operate on a brain. Things they don't tell you when you don't go to medical school.
I just hope doctors are better at cutting apples than myself.

The doctor does the surgery. Love, prayer and nurses heal. And therapists. And family members who fight. They help the most. I know that, because every person who has ever healed had family fighting with each other. 
Doctors know stuff about health. I accept that, now that security has forced me to spend some time in the waiting room.
Whatever the physicians do, you do need love in that room. I get it, they're helping Mom. The doctors and nurses are there saving lives and helping people heal, and they’re not used to my coaching on how to stick in the IV properly, yet.
 
***Thoughts From a Waiting Room are thoughts revisited from 2019-2020 in 2026 form. LRefuah Sheleyma LKol HaCholim and shared laughter with their family and friends, bZchut Avi HaRav Yeshaya Ben Yechezkel HaLevi ZT"L vImi HaRabbanit Necha Bat Chayim Zeydel A"H LAliyat Nishmatam.