​No Way Purell Works

by David Kilimnick

Thoughts from a Waiting Room #12

I see these people using sanitizer in the hospitals like they cured hepatitis. Pulling it out in awe, rubbing it like they're running their hands through the Fountain of Youth. It makes me want to hurt them. 
They pull it out like it's going to save lives. These ladies pull it out, rub their hands, and the world is a safer place.
They use a bottle on each hand. Spending five minutes, squishing it. I have to see these people rubbing their hands half the day. And they look at me. It's very uncomfortable. They rub their hands and look at me. "This right here. This is world peace." 
Why the Purell rub look. Why do I have to see that. And then they do the clap. And then rub again for another five minutes. And still looking at me.
Are you trying to get under my skin? You see what I did. "Under my skin." Kind of like a pun. This Purell thing just rubs me the wrong way. Another pun of brilliance for you.

Nursing Staff Is Also Involved in Purell
The hospital staff should not be sanitization dependent. They walk into the room and visit the sick like it's fine to touch the ill with their disgustingness. Now that they've rubbed their disgustingness deep into their hands, the dirt is fully engrained. 
Nurses Purell their hands, come into your hospital room sticking their hand down your tonsils with it. No gloves. "No need for the gloves, my hands are dryer." And now you have a parched throat. To note, Purell will parch your throat.

Hospital Sanitization
The hospital has Purell dispensers everywhere. Dispensers that everybody's touching. It's the sanitizer that's causing the sickness in the hospital. They come to the hospital healthy, then they get sanitizer on them and they catch illness.
And I can't stand the PPEs either. I don't need to see you coming into the hospital room with a chemical grade hazmat suit. Nurses coming in fully masked, looking like they're part of rat control, does not help the family morale. 
Now they're saving the world by sanitizing their hands, then coming into the room with clothes they're going to throw out. 
How are the hand germs getting through the chemical grade hand gloves. 

Dirt Needs Water
There's no way that rubbing the dirt into their skin cleans the dirt. There is no way that not cleaning your hands makes them clean. 
Hand sanitizers don't work. Guy rubs his hands through his hair, picks his ear, shakes the hand of the guy who just put on his shoes, there is no way it works. You might kill the germs. But the grease, wax, mud and whatever else Frank does are still there.
Purell doesn't clean. It dries. And I don't care if I offend people. How about this? Maybe there's no dirt in deserts, because deserts are dry. Think about that. Before you think about it, you should know it's not a pun.

Cooties
Due to this sanitizer dependency, Americans are more afraid of germs than disgustingness. That's why people are afraid to kiss nowadays. Cooties. They're afraid they will get germs, and get sick, because they don’t have mouth Purell yet. The only way to get some action nowadays is to Purell your lips. This is the only time Purell makes sense. Clean your mouth with Colgate and then Purell it.

What Sanitizing Does
I looked it up. Just did the research. It works by killing bacteria, but doesn’t remove it. Exactly. You cleaned it, but it's still there. The bacteria is still there. You have murdered bacteria all over your hands. Science.
Now, all of these people visiting our loved ones in the hospital are rubbing their bacteria on them. Forget about germs. Bacteria. Does anybody care about bacteria anymore?!!! And the nursing staff right now is in the ICU, saving lives with dead bacteria all over their hazmats. The hazmat has hazmat all over it.
It turns out, I don’t care about germs. I care about being clean. I don’t want to infect sick people with dirt. 

And this is why everybody has chapped hands.
And then I have to see them rubbing their hands in lotion, giving me that moisturizer look like they've cured Purell. 
Please rub your hands in private. Don't make me have to look at you rubbing your hands. It makes me very uncomfortable and violent.

Conclusion
I am staying away from anybody with chapped lips. I know who they've been kissing.
I'm going to start wearing gloves to not get touched by sanitized people. Might end up having to shake a sanitized hand. Don't know. It's disgusting.
The classy women pulling hand sanitizer out of their purses all day are disgustingly dirty people. 

You have clean and you have sanitized. You have normal people who use soap, and you have left-wing crazy people.
Use gloves. That's all I'm saying. Stop expressing your hatred of Donald Trump with sanitization.

I am going to use up your natural resources, run water, unroll paper towel, and keep this world clean and not sanitary, so the next generation is immune enough to eat nuts and talk politics. 

COVID killed society.

And I just saw Purell soap. That's just confusing. I'm assuming the soap dries before you wash it off. So now there's a soap that doesn't clean.

***Thoughts From a Waiting Room are thoughts revisited from 2019-2020 in 2026 form. LRefuah Sheleyma LKol HaCholim and shared laughter with their family and friends, bZchut Avi HaRav Yeshaya Ben Yechezkel HaLevi ZT"L vImi HaRabbanit Necha Bat Chayim Zeydel A"H LAliyat Nishmatam.