Narrow Bridge: Getting Ready For Shabbos

Getting Ready for Shabbos
Journal Entry by Rabbi Shaya Kilimnick — January 3, 2016

My daughter took this picture. Before I put on my Tzitzis
I'm posting it so people shouldn't think that I enter Shabbos with a miserable face.

His Child's Commentary & Lessons He Learned from Abba
Abba was Frum. I didn't realize how religious Abba was until I saw how he wrote Shabbos. You can tell how religious somebody is by how they spell Shabbis. Shabbos is very Frum. Shabbis is relatively Frum. Shabbat, and you are breaking every law of Shabbos. Probably making fires anywhere you have a chance to light a match.

My father had on a shirt. It's the more comfortable way to wear Tzitzis. You out the Tzitzis over an undershirt or a Tshirt, and then you can serve Gd in comfort. It was a picture of Abba smiling.
Sometimes you want to let people know you're OK. They're worried and a picture is a way of letting them know you're good. A picture with a smile. It wasn't a picture taken of me at a Simcha. A picture of me at a wedding does not exude happiness. It exudes a feeling of time being wasted on behalf of young happy people. My father at a Simcha, he had a smile.
The smile says everything. I have to smile more. I always got in trouble around the time of family pictures. I probably didn't smile because Abba was ripping out my hair, trying to get my cowlick to stay down.

There are pictures people post on social media on a yacht. Smiling on a yacht. Those pictures are there to get you mad. They're not letting you know they're OK. They're letting you know they're better than you.
Abba's picture says, "Have a Good Shabbos. I'm good. You should be good too. Even though you haven't visited, or cared to make a phone call. Just know I'm good. I'm here with cancer and I'm good. So go on with your selfish life and be happy. I'll cook my own food- Since you stopped sending food three weeks into cancer."

When family was around Abba didn't need visitors. He was happy with his family being around. Taking in the Nachis of his children. Unless if that was me. Then visitors were appreciated. And I would be able to bring out the chips, Diet Coke and ice, and ice cream for everybody. I learned as a kid that getting Diet Coke and ice was a Mitzvah. Getting Diet Coke and ice is called Kibud Av vEim. Honoring your parents when they're relaxing on a couch. I had good Chinuch growing up.

Abba had to put in the Tzitzis comment because people would've talked. "Our rabbi doesn't wear Tzitzit?!" And they would've said "Tzitzit." My father is Frummer than them. He says "Tzitzis."

And that is how you enter Shabbos. Smiling and good. You don't expect Shabbos to make things good. You expect Shabbat to make things good. Shabbos, you come in with energy to that. An energy that you developed learning in Yeshiva and living a Torah life for seventy years.
What you give to a day is what you will get out of it. I believe it's the Beatles who said, "The day you make is equal to the day you take." Or it might have been, "The Shabbos you make is equal to the Shabbos you take." I don't remember which one the Beatles said. But Abba took that lesson to heart and shared it. Sharing his smile and gratitude is what he had to do.

Postscript
I decided that we'll post the comments and my comments to the comments, and the stats, after all of Abba's Caring Bridge posts are finished. Otherwise, we'll get too caught up in people saying how much they care and how much they don't want to visit or send food. I'm still trying to figure out where all the food went from the beginning of cancer. When do they stop bringing the food?!
As rabbi, Abba should've made a rabbinic decree to bring food even when people are in remission, as they still have families in remission. And there is still Shabbos in remission.
People who keep Shabbat, you don't want them cooking Shabbos food for you. They have no idea how to make a decent Lukshen Kugel.

The smile was Abba's way of giving to his community. He was going into Shabbos with a smile and he wanted you to go into Shabbat with a smile too. Abba didn't judge you, even if you celebrated Shabbat every week.
It is all gratitude, as the smile in the picture that you can't see shows.

***For an Aliyas Neshama for רב ישעיה בן יחזקאל זצ"ל and all the Tzadikim who made and continue to make this Olam a great life.