How Much Hallmark Can Somebody Watch?

by David Kilimnick

Thoughts from a Waiting Room #126

The Nursing Facility is a Hallmark Convention
The nursing home is playing movies about divorcees finding love, all day. The rooms have it on all day. The lobby has it running all day. The common area has it running all day, until Turner Classic Movies gets thrown on for the 6pm movie of the night. Then, that common area is back on Hallmark.
That’s how life ends. Years of Hallmark and Shasta.

They Don't Even Play the News
I thought the news was what was old people watched all day. They watch the news all day, until they’re in a nursing home. That’s when Hallmark is on. Hallmark on loop.
From the time your family abandons you, you have no choice. You’re stuck with Hallmark. There might be a progressive facility that plays Lifetime. But even if they play Lifetime, you’ll be stuck with a roommate playing Hallmark. If you’re with a ninety-year-old, TCM might make its way in there, to bring up memories of life before the world had color. It was a better world back then. They didn’t have Hallmark.

Christmas Month on the Jewish Floor
No choice. Hallmark was playing it.
All Christmas movies. The same movie. The month of November to January is Christmas month in the Jewish area of the facility. The Hallmark and soft rock station calendar goes September, October, Christmas, February.
That’s what Hallmark plays. Hallmark plays it, the Jews watch it. Your family abandoned you in the facility, now the missionaries can do their work.

Two Hours of Smiling and a 
It’s hard making it through a Hallmark movie. I can’t smile that much.
The only time there's no smiling is at the breakup fifteen minutes before the end. They almost fall in love and then their career gets in the way, along with family. They finally realize they have kids they’ve abandoned at home, for this new romance. Then they end up getting married on Christmas. A very smilie wedding. Smiling the whole time, asides from the breakup over the one not caring about the other one's kids. Half the time she’s leaving her previous husband. That brings a smile. The rest of it, she's trying to figure out if the other guy likes the other woman that he used to date. That also somehow brings smiles.
Hallmark has cornered the market of the second husband love story. Now it looks like another guy is going to leave her, and then, he comes back and it’s Christmas, and there is more smiling.

Hallmark Should Be A Choice
You don't choose to go to the facility. However, you can refuse to eat Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes. 
Just to think my mom was in corona isolation for a year and a half, without us, and the health professional missionaries were playing Hallmark the whole time.
It should be treated as an elective surgery. You have to state clearly that you want it. Hallmark shouldn’t be something that the missionaries put on for you once you’re stuck in a nursing home.
In America, you’re put in a nursing home and then they play Hallmark, give you Shasta on a feeding tube, and get your signature for the general elections.

It’s Hallmark Purgatory or a Marathon - I think it’s the same thing
I just know that life is over if I wake up after five years to see a can of Shasta Cola, and Hallmark still playing.
You wake up from a coma and Hallmark is playing. It’s the site of hell. ‘This is what I came back for!!! I was finally relaxing and now I have to watch people smiling twenty-four hours a day?! Did they get rid of Fox News while I was sleeping?!!! Give me anything… I’ll watch Lifetime if I have to. I just can’t watch that movie again.’

Does Anybody Else Drink Shasta?
No. It's only found in Hallmark purgatory.

Is Purgatory a Jewish Concept?
No. It's a Christian concept, and Jews are experiencing it on Hallmark.

I Wouldn’t Even Play Fox News for Somebody Coming Out of a Coma
Ten years later and ‘They’re still complaining about Trump?! Did anybody advocate for old people while I was asleep???? This facility still smells! I think I’m back in hell. Do I hear Hallmark? That’s the same Christmas movie… Don’t tell me that they break up, and there is a Christmas miracle of love.’
I wouldn't even play cable TV for people who are waking up. It's hard to find a decent show on there. Even worse, the only question they'll have is how much they've been paying for that the whole the time.
I have a feeling that a lot of people don’t wake up from a coma because it's on Hallmark. That’s the only way to enjoy it.

I Personally Love Hallmark
I've broken up with enough women to enjoy these movies.

Conclusion
We’re finally back in the facility. I feel better right now. After two weeks of Hallmark, I feel good. If the cost of seeing my mom is three months of Christmas, I'll be right there with Santa. I’ll be caroling my Chanukah songs next year if I have to. I’ll be singing along with the new lovers on Hallmark.
Right now, I love Hallmark. I’ve connected with it. The sound of non-Jewish people falling in love is Christmas beauty to my ears. 
Shoot. It's playing right now!!! What is wrong with this place?!

For a Refuah Sheleyma for חיה נחה בת ריבה לאה and all who need a speedy recovery, and shared laughter with their family and friends...