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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about people giving him a beautiful holiday fruit platter and kids enjoying themselves on Simchat Torah, with Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for stealing food from the shuk and bringing up the price on Chamutzim in Israel.
Somebody gave me this for Rosh Hashana. They must think every holiday is Purim. I think I got the same thing for Tu Bshvat too.
Jewish wedding dance, known as the push-up... The fact that a Jew can do a push-up is quite impressive. Almost as impressive as dancing with a bottle on your head. Which is why this is done in front of the Chatan and Kallah. To bring them joy, impressing them with a skilled dance. You can see the crowd looking on in awe of this amazing display of talent.
I think this is forbidden. The huge candy is too heavenly for the children to understand that you don't pray to it, but to Gd. On the holiday the kids at shul prayed to the Dum-Dums and KitKats. The shul usually decorates the Bima with flowers for the holidays. Yet, nothing is as glorious in the Lord's eyes as a 50lb Hershey Bar... I carried the KitKat around, not a Torah, to celebrate sweets on Simchat Torah...
If you don't ask, it's free. They wanted 24nis for a kilo of eggplant. I took it and didn't even have to pay. I've never been so happy shopping at the Shuk. I feel like I got a great deal… With this new shopping technique, I feel like I will save a lot of money.
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The kids were very loud, so their parents had them play Mom’s the Word. You get it? Mum’s the Word. But mom wants silence. So, it’s Mom’s the Word. A game of silence, where Mom’s the only one who can talk. Moms love the game, and it makes Moms happy. 
Ima- a) A person who does everything for you. These people clean, wash your clothes, cook, listen to your complaints. Then, you get married and complain about them visiting. See Shviger for how you offensively refer to people who love you.
b) The lyrics to every Mizrachi song. Full Lyrics to Mizrachi Song: “Ima. Ani Ohev Otach. Ima.” 
Show was amazing... Looking forward to sharing laughs with your community. Shoot an email to [email protected] to bring David out for laughs and song.
People always ask, “Is Mother’s Day Asur?” There is drinking, gambling, and doing something kind for your parents. You should stay away from all of them.
Many rabbis say that every day is Mother’s Day. So, treat the day like every other day and honor your mother by doing nothing for her. As a rabbi, I will say Mother’s Day is forbidden. It feels more religious to say it’s Asur, and to do nothing for your parents. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
11/7/2024
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