The Kibbitzer Photo Album XLVII

Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about the Siddur holders at shul and people who love Israel, while supporting the idea of Jews not being happy with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing his new diet technique of using a spoon that is too small to hold food.

The plastic Jewish diet spoon. I got it from the caterer who didn’t have enough cake. The spoon did make the souffle look bigger... Since using it for breakfast, I've taken off a lot of weight. I have noticed it now takes longer to eat cereal. And most of the time, the Golden Grahams fall off the spoon, helping with more weight loss. A quite utilitarian utensil. That other spoon is the old spoon I used to use. It held the cereal and I ate. I'm not going to use that again.

Flying back to Israel now, during these times of war, and our people are celebrating. It’s always been hard to sleep flying with Israelis... I think that steward got fired for loving Israel too much. Loving Israel can keep people up on a long flight... Worst advertisement for Arkia, "Our staff loves Israel." That's going to be a very happy flight. Now I'm sitting next to somebody who wants to dance the Hora.

New shul seat construction and the reason I can’t sit in shul... They made the Shtender just small enough so the guy’s Siddur is smacking me in the back of my head all Davening.

We've got to make it look worse on social media when bombs are raining down on us. Make it look like we're having it hard... Singing “Od Yoter Tov,” “Avinu SheBaShamaim” and “Kol HaOlam Koolo.” People think we’re loving the rockets aimed at us. This is why people think we have it good. We're the only people who go into bomb shelters for a party. Palestinians look like they're starving, eating corned beef sandwiches with Greta Thunberg. Jews look like they're having a ball, sleeping in bomb shelters, missiles raining down on them, having overnight disco parties. They're loving it. Asking, "When are Hamas and Hizbullah attacking next? I’ve got nothing going on tonight. Why is nobody hanging out at the bomb shelter? Why has Iran stopped?" When asked in the future, these kids are going to say, "The best memories of my childhood were getting shot at. We danced. We sang. When Iran was trying to blow us up, that was so much fun." And they're going to mean it... Point is. Enjoy every moment. Just don't let the world know we're a happy people... I am sorry about that guy with his shirt off. I don't believe that he was the guy people were asking to take off his shirt.