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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about the shul trying to raise money, and Shwarma made by Yashki, while waking people who are trying to sleep at Costco with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for expressing his concern about people getting too excited, burning themselves, instead of waiting for sunflower seeds.
That means somebody did it. I thought I would translate the sign for you. People are willing to burn themselves for a decent hot seed... When eating Garenim, safety comes first at Bingo Supermarket in America… Based on experience, people will risk their hands for Israeli style sunflower seeds. It’s very exciting to see the seeds on a belt, especially in America… In Israel, people see sunflower seeds coming out, they risk appendages. And in Israel, the healthcare system doesn’t worry about limbs that much. They have too much other stuff to worry about… And then to take chances waiting for the seeds to come out of the oven is not a good idea. If you wait till they’re out of the machine, the Pitzuchim may be gone… My next Patent: Sunflower seed shopping glove, for people who don’t like to wait for seeds in the shuk. The gloves will work for almonds as well. I thought it was important to make that clear. Thank you.
Tel Aviv shawarma is heavenly… If Yashki made the shawarma, it’s got to be good. If he can do that stuff with water, I’m sure he can do miracles with lamb on a skewer. “Our shawarma is heavenly” should be the slogan. I think we can all agree on that, no matter your religion. For those trying to figure out the location, please note, "Frishman" is not a deity. And that’s not Jesus’ motorcycle.
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What do say when eating a leafy vegetable that’s been peppered with a little salt and a dash of citrus? Kale Melach Leemon. You get it? Instead of Kel Melech Ne’eman, which is said before Shema- when said alone. Kel is Gd’s name but not. It’s Gd’s name pronounced un-in-vain. In this prayer, you spell Gd’s substituted name more phonetically correct to suit the vegetable. Melach is salt. And Leemon is lemon, for those learning the correct Hebrew word. Or maybe just say the Ha’adama blessing, as it’s from the ground. A lot of thought went into this pun. And heresy. I felt bad executing the bagel. But I did what I had to. There was lox.
Sunday- September 14 at 3:30pm Rochester Fringe Show at the JCC… Click Here for Tickets!
David performs his original songs of love and peace for the gentile. Performing all over the globe, David galvanizes the fans…
And Book David for your community Comedy Kumzits Show- [email protected]
Yad Soledet Bo, temperature at which a hand gets burnt, and retracts, is 113 to 160°F. How do we know this? The rabbis got people to test it. They would have people risk their hands. When the person screamed, they were like, "That's the temperature." Some people didn't scream right away. They tried toughing it out. And when they passed out, the rabbi was like, "That's the temperature..." And the students of the rabbi were in shock, "I can't believe he made it to 160°F." And thanks to Reb Shloimy, who is no longer with us, we were able to figure out the highest degrees of what would be considered cooking on Shabbat. If he didn't risk his life, we wouldn't have known.
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