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The Kibbitzer Photo Album XLVI

6/16/2025

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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about the shul trying to raise money, and Shwarma made by Yashki, while waking people who are trying to sleep at Costco with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for expressing his concern about people getting too excited, burning themselves, instead of waiting for sunflower seeds.
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I always wondered why Costco had those chairs out… I couldn’t fit him in the cart. Though, I tried. Didn’t know if he was part of a promotional sale… I do hope I didn’t wake him with my shopping. It’s a Chutzpah that they leave on the lights like that.
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My shul will find a way to put a plaque on it.
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That means somebody did it. I thought I would translate the sign for you. People are willing to burn themselves for a decent hot seed... When eating Garenim, safety comes first at Bingo Supermarket in America… Based on experience, people will risk their hands for Israeli style sunflower seeds. It’s very exciting to see the seeds on a belt, especially in America… In Israel, people see sunflower seeds coming out, they risk appendages. And in Israel, the healthcare system doesn’t worry about limbs that much. They have too much other stuff to worry about… And then to take chances waiting for the seeds to come out of the oven is not a good idea. If you wait till they’re out of the machine, the Pitzuchim may be gone… My next Patent: Sunflower seed shopping glove, for people who don’t like to wait for seeds in the shuk. The gloves will work for almonds as well. I thought it was important to make that clear. Thank you.
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Tel Aviv shawarma is heavenly… If Yashki made the shawarma, it’s got to be good. If he can do that stuff with water, I’m sure he can do miracles with lamb on a skewer. “Our shawarma is heavenly” should be the slogan. I think we can all agree on that, no matter your religion. For those trying to figure out the location, please note, "Frishman" is not a deity. And that’s not Jesus’ motorcycle.
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    How do we know Balak didn’t pay? He had to Bil-am.
    You get it? Bilam. Bill him. If you say Bilam fast it sounds like bill him. That’s how we know there was no prophet. Another pun. Profit. Bilam was a prophet. Prophet. Profit. Brilliant. Do prophets make profit? I guess it depends on if they get paid.

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    Mazel Tov. It’s a dog... I think it’s great when people give birth to dogs. They’re just not good on deciding what to order. I waited on line for a good ten minutes for that dog to make a decision as to what coffee it wanted. At some point, I decided to cut him.
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    David Kilimnick - Israel's "Father of Anglo Comedy" (JPost) is not touring with his Israel solidarity show. Bring David to your community, college campus, shul, home, to share laughs of Jewish unity... 585-738-9233 [email protected]
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    Peninei Halacha (Zemanim 8:6:2-3) says that bathing is allowed during the 3 Weeks. So no excuse for the kids in camp smelling like that.

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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.

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  • Articles
  • Shabbat Printout Year V
    • Shabbat Printout Year IV
    • Shabbat Printout Year III
    • Shabbat Printout Year II
    • Shabbat Printout Year I
  • Health and Healing
  • About Us
    • Partner and Dedicate
    • Subscribe
    • Get In Touch
    • Contributors
    • FAQ
    • Terms of Use