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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about the hours at the bank in Israel, the Mangal BBQ waving mechanism at the shuk and the men’s side at the pizza shop, all while haggling for a slice of pizza with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing his thoughts on soda the community has enjoyed at an excellent price, from Price Rite, without haggling.
Women’s and Men’s sides. That’s why I never met anybody hanging out in Meah Shearim... By the way. That pizza place is not religious enough for me. There should be a Mechitzah there. I’m not going to lie... I like the fact that women can’t cut me in line there. I have a hard enough time trying to deal with guys cutting me off and taking my pizza.
Speaking of great Israeli inventions. The Mangal Nifnoofer. Used to wave at the fire. The idea is to keep the BBQ going by waving at it, in hopes the fire will continue by being nice to it... And then the greater invention. The Mivtzah. This is where you wave at the guy working in the Shuk in hopes that you will get a deal.
What you drink when you are part of a community. Fruit punch in carbonated form… Also see stuff that only tastes good in shul. Also see stuff that makes you even fatter than Coke. Also see stuff that you would never drink if Kiddish wasn’t free.
They haven’t changed the hours for years. For some reason, I still show up when they’re closed. Something about changing hours every day. Keeps me on my toes, and missing work. And I still kissed the Mezuzah… They have a picture of a dog leading the guy. The bank understands that there’s more of a chance that the dog will get the hours right.
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If somebody at the Seder tells you the salt water is low in sodium, take it with a grain of salt. You get it? Salt has sodium. So, take more salt. Whatever you need to do to make the Seder more meaningful, by making things harder to eat, do it. We bring our puns to add to your Passover experience. If you’re the one who made the salt water, you can share the joy of Mordechai’s pun, while handing someone a grain of salt. When delivering puns, always ask, “What would Mordechai do?” Oh. "Take it with a grain of salt" means don't take it to heart. Now you get the pun. 
I did not clean that shelf last year. The mushrooms might not be fresh. Yet, that can is sealed nice and tight. I am at an impasse… Thank Gd for Pesach. I’m must’ve not got to that cupboard since 2008.
That’s why those cans are good. They remind you how long it’s been since you cleaned. 
Click on the picture for tickets to share laughs with David Kilimnick in Jerusalem on Thursday, February 12th
Due to leaving Mitzrayim in haste, we are commanded to eat Matzah, a “poor man’s bread” (Devarim 16:3). I am fulfilling that Mitzvah. After purchasing Shmura Matzah, I’m out of money.
Let me explain. Though it's a poor man's bread, Shmura Matzah can be very expensive. The boxed machine Matzah, sold at a dollar-fifty a pound, is probably what the Torah was talking about. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
9/9/2025
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