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The Kibbitzer Photo Album XLIX

9/9/2025

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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about the hours at the bank in Israel, the Mangal BBQ waving mechanism at the shuk and the men’s side at the pizza shop, all while haggling for a slice of pizza with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing his thoughts on soda the community has enjoyed at an excellent price, from Price Rite, without haggling.
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Women’s and Men’s sides. That’s why I never met anybody hanging out in Meah Shearim... By the way. That pizza place is not religious enough for me. There should be a Mechitzah there. I’m not going to lie... I like the fact that women can’t cut me in line there. I have a hard enough time trying to deal with guys cutting me off and taking my pizza.
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Speaking of great Israeli inventions. The Mangal Nifnoofer. Used to wave at the fire. The idea is to keep the BBQ going by waving at it, in hopes the fire will continue by being nice to it... And then the greater invention. The Mivtzah. This is where you wave at the guy working in the Shuk in hopes that you will get a deal.
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What you drink when you are part of a community. Fruit punch in carbonated form… Also see stuff that only tastes good in shul. Also see stuff that makes you even fatter than Coke. Also see stuff that you would never drink if Kiddish wasn’t free.
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They haven’t changed the hours for years. For some reason, I still show up when they’re closed. Something about changing hours every day. Keeps me on my toes, and missing work. And I still kissed the Mezuzah… They have a picture of a dog leading the guy. The bank understands that there’s more of a chance that the dog will get the hours right.
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    Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
    Sunday - October 18 @ 8pm
    Shir Hadash - Jacob Rubin St. #1 Jerusalem, Israel 
    For Tickets Click Here 
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    My friend’s pig wanted to wish you all a Hog Sameach.
    You get it? Chag Sameach. Americans can’t say the “Chet.” They say “Hag Sameach.” But this is a hog. So, Hog Sameach. A pig would say that. Most American say “Happy Holiday.” Americans aren’t pigs. Eating too much on Sukkot does not make you a pig. It makes you a person with an upset stomach, who put on twelve pounds. I hope that clears up any misconceptions about why the pig is saying “Hog Sameach,” and people from the US do not. Though, Americans can be quite friendly. 
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    Sukkah- A hut that is poorly built. Not a mitzvah. H’ knew that is the best a Jew can do. No Jew can build anything that lasts longer than seven days. And that is without rain. My Brother-in-law Teaching his Son to Build: ‘What you gotta do is take the soft side. Then you take the hard side of the Velcro. Tap as such… take the metal. Slip it through canvas. That’s how we build…’
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    Hakafot on Simchat Torah isn’t a Mitzvah. It’s tradition. Please don’t pull me into the dancing circle. It’s very uncomfortable. I don’t know when the tradition of pulling self-conscious people who don’t know how to dance, into a circle of people who don’t know how to dance, started.
    I love the Torah. Let me celebrate the Torah as I do, by throwing candies at kids.

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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.

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  • Articles
  • Shabbat Printout VII
    • Shabbat Printout Vault >
      • Shabbat Printout VI
      • Shabbat Printout Year V
      • Shabbat Printout Year IV
      • Shabbat Printout Year III
      • Shabbat Printout Year II
      • Shabbat Printout Year I
  • Health and Healing
  • About Us
    • Partner and Dedicate
    • Subscribe
    • Get In Touch
    • Contributors
    • FAQ
    • Terms of Use