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The Kibbitzer Photo Album XLI

1/11/2025

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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about AI being anti-Semitic, praying to Gd and thanking Him too much for Chanukah and being alive, and educating us about proper modest gymwear that clashes, with Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for expressing how Sufganiot don’t have enough jelly, while he still put on weight and ate them.
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How AI sees two Jews on a date. The two were perfect because of the size of their noses. If AI was setting you up with a Jew, they'd make sure the person had a huge nose. Because big noses is how you know they’re Jewish.
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I found the jelly. People thought the Sufganiah was a bulkie. We thought we accidentally bought a roll with sugar powder on it. Nope. It was a Sufganiah. You can see we were almost finished with it, and then jelly. We found it... It was a like a Chanukah miracle. Eight holes and no jelly in any of them.
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The Chanukah Rosh Chodesh Added Tefillah Board. Scariest thing I’ve seen in a while... The next morning nobody showed up for Minyin. The six extra prayers scared away every Jew. I say, leave out six of the panels. Then, once they get there, slide them in one at a time over the course of Davening. You might lose a member with every panel addition. But you have more of a chance of getting a Minyin that way.
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Modesty at the gym is very important. These shoes and this look will ensure no girls will want to talk to you. Keeping you a Ben Torah.
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    Picture
    What’s an ant that wants family to be at their wedding? A cantaloupe!
    You get it? An antelope would be an ant that can elope. Science. This one can't. Hence, cantaloupe. It's a religious ant. C-ant-aloupe. Not the fruit. A type of ant. Ant is in there, in the middle. The ant can't elope. It's a religious ant. Wants her family to be there. And she likes fruit.
    That ant that shows up at the wedding is your mother’s sister that doesn’t hate you.
    Picture
    Chason/Chatan- A man whose family members tell him, after the wedding, that his life will change. Sentence: ‘Now your decisions aren’t yours.’ Said by his uncle, to remind him that his uncle made a bad decision and he regrets it. Another Sentence: ‘Just remember these words: “I am sorry.”’ Response: A required laugh, from everybody who already heard Uncle Tivi say this at every Sheva Brachot. Response from the Chatan: ‘Why did nobody mention this until now?! Would you not think this is something you would have brought up before the wedding?!
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    Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
    Thursday - Sept. 17 @ 7pm
    Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm

    Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY 
    For Tickets Click Here 
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    (Nidda 30b) Before birth you learn all of Torah. And then an angel comes hits you on your mouth, and you forget it. We learn much from this comforting teaching, knowing how easily we forget stuff. And this is why I did bad in Gemara class. We also learn that angels have a very violent temper.

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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.

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  • Articles
  • Shabbat Printout VI
    • Shabbat Printout Year V
    • Shabbat Printout Year IV
    • Shabbat Printout Year III
    • Shabbat Printout Year II
    • Shabbat Printout Year I
  • Health and Healing
  • About Us
    • Partner and Dedicate
    • Subscribe
    • Get In Touch
    • Contributors
    • FAQ
    • Terms of Use