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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about the extra shwarma-sized toilet paper and people making money on Ben Yehuda in Israel, all while not supporting Chinuch education of children blowing Shofars they’re not buying, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing his thoughts on why he can’t take off weight fast days, while eating.
That is a huge toilet paper roll they had by the sink at the restaurant in Israel. Shwarma will do that to you.
That guy is still having the going out of business sale. He’s been now going out of business for forty-three years... He even has new going out of business stickers. I’m just happy his business is thriving, and that he can afford the new signage. And more years of going out of business. He should get many years of use out of those signs… That guy has made it a point to sit there till they close the store. He's been waiting there the whole time.
When Chinuch, child education, goes too far. Now there is no way I am buying any of those Shofars… Real cute until I’m spending 300nis on a fourth graders’ spittle. And the mom is fine with it. Because she’s not buying it. And that guy walking by was about to buy the Shofar… Nachis is your child shooting phlegm in a store and you not having to pay.
Somehow, I put on weight last Yom Kippur. I find that I get fatter on fasts... I have to slow down the intake of my whole kitchen before and after the fast. And that was the first course. Then we brought out the leftover shwarma and pargiot, and Kugels. Then doubled up on the croutons. Plane croutons, just in case we starve over the next few hours. And we didn't clean up, as that takes away from pre-fast eating time. The not being able to eat for a day scares me. I’m always worried the rabbis will throw another Yom Kippur on us. Tzom Gedaliah truly has me worried.
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Israelis excel at jujitsu because they followed the Sensei who said, “Ju-do.” You get it? Jew do. Ju do. That’s how he pronounced judo. I think. You can’t plural ju-do as jus-do. That’d kill the pun. You have to read it. Some things in life only work in writing. Which is why my doctor writes the prescriptions. 
The Mountains- Where Jews go for the summer and the only mountains in the Oylam. The ‘world’ being New York. Where Yiddishkeit is based. A Jewish city, in the summer The Mountains is part of Brooklyn. Affectionately called the Catskills for those purchasing postcards, The Mountains must be capitalized. See Bungalow for how giving up a three-million-dollar home for a shack makes sense. See Goyim for people who still don’t realize The Mountains is part of Brooklyn, and a nation who is trying to figure out how traffic got to Monticello.
Show was amazing... Looking forward to sharing laughs with your community. Shoot an email to [email protected] to bring David out for laughs and song.
With the Maccabiah, questions of Bitul Torah come up. Bitul Torah, wasting time from learning Torah, is something we don’t do as Jews. And there are many reasons given for this. The most convincing one being not getting your allowance.
The Maccabiah needs more Torah involved. Excessive sports is Bitul Torah. I support gymnastics. But you can’t just have gymnastics. One must be learning Gemara when competing on the bars. As part of Color War, we always had a Bracha Bee. The Maccabiah. athletes from the different countries should be competing at Tefilat HaDerech. And it’s practical for their trip home. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
9/26/2025
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