|
The Breadcrumbs widget will appear here on the published site.
Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about the extra shwarma-sized toilet paper and people making money on Ben Yehuda in Israel, all while not supporting Chinuch education of children blowing Shofars they’re not buying, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing his thoughts on why he can’t take off weight fast days, while eating.
That guy is still having the going out of business sale. He’s been now going out of business for forty-three years... He even has new going out of business stickers. I’m just happy his business is thriving, and that he can afford the new signage. And more years of going out of business. He should get many years of use out of those signs… That guy has made it a point to sit there till they close the store. He's been waiting there the whole time.
When Chinuch, child education, goes too far. Now there is no way I am buying any of those Shofars… Real cute until I’m spending 300nis on a fourth graders’ spittle. And the mom is fine with it. Because she’s not buying it. And that guy walking by was about to buy the Shofar… Nachis is your child shooting phlegm in a store and you not having to pay.
Somehow, I put on weight last Yom Kippur. I find that I get fatter on fasts... I have to slow down the intake of my whole kitchen before and after the fast. And that was the first course. Then we brought out the leftover shwarma and pargiot, and Kugels. Then doubled up on the croutons. Plane croutons, just in case we starve over the next few hours. And we didn't clean up, as that takes away from pre-fast eating time. The not being able to eat for a day scares me. I’m always worried the rabbis will throw another Yom Kippur on us. Tzom Gedaliah truly has me worried.
The Blog Tags Widget will appear here on the published site.
Tags:
The Recommended Content Widget will appear here on the published site.
Leave a Reply. |
What do say when eating a leafy vegetable that’s been peppered with a little salt and a dash of citrus? Kale Melach Leemon. You get it? Instead of Kel Melech Ne’eman, which is said before Shema- when said alone. Kel is Gd’s name but not. It’s Gd’s name pronounced un-in-vain. In this prayer, you spell Gd’s substituted name more phonetically correct to suit the vegetable. Melach is salt. And Leemon is lemon, for those learning the correct Hebrew word. Or maybe just say the Ha’adama blessing, as it’s from the ground. A lot of thought went into this pun. And heresy. I felt bad executing the bagel. But I did what I had to. There was lox.
Sunday- September 14 at 3:30pm Rochester Fringe Show at the JCC… Click Here for Tickets!
David performs his original songs of love and peace for the gentile. Performing all over the globe, David galvanizes the fans…
And Book David for your community Comedy Kumzits Show- [email protected]
Yad Soledet Bo, temperature at which a hand gets burnt, and retracts, is 113 to 160°F. How do we know this? The rabbis got people to test it. They would have people risk their hands. When the person screamed, they were like, "That's the temperature." Some people didn't scream right away. They tried toughing it out. And when they passed out, the rabbi was like, "That's the temperature..." And the students of the rabbi were in shock, "I can't believe he made it to 160°F." And thanks to Reb Shloimy, who is no longer with us, we were able to figure out the highest degrees of what would be considered cooking on Shabbat. If he didn't risk his life, we wouldn't have known.
Categories
All
Archives
October 2025
|




RSS Feed
9/26/2025
0 Comments