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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about Chabad spreading Mitzvahs like Tefillin, community give food to the needy, all while not being sure if all the graves on the highway in Tiveria are of Tzadikim, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing a picture of him wishing he had his nephew's toy car.
Chabad has gotten lazy. Now they have unmanned Tefillin booths. The self-run Shluchim are confusing to some, especially when placed next to the gumball machine. The guy in front of me thought it was another machine. He put a quarter in the Tefillin and started walking out with them… Some guys walked right by like they already put on Tefillin. They came in and dined without any regard for Davening Shacharit while waiting on table service. Heretics. It turns out people aren’t as threatened by Tefillin when not being attacked by a person. I noticed many people I would’ve questioned for not being religious, wearing shorts and a Kippah Sruga. I personally enjoyed the restaurant experience much more. It very much distracts my eating when a random guy starts wrapping Tefillin on me while I’m trying to dunk my sushi in wasabi.
The shul food donation bin. And one of our congregants takes all the food himself, loading up his trunk. I would’ve taken it, but I’m not at Crispy Rice yet. If I ever have to go for Crispy Rice or Oh’s or Colorful Loops, I’m selling my car. B”H, I can still afford cereal… And that’s Tzedakah. Why our congregation felt the need to donate stuff that nobody would enjoy… They went out of their way to make sure it was Crispy Rice. Rice Krispies were right there. They saw both and thought, “Poor people like the Crispy one. They don’t like Kellogg’s.”
Grave of Chana and her sons. I love visiting graves of Tzadikim in Israel... The greatest miracle that I believe my tour guide discovered is that every person who was buried a long time ago was famous. The dentists didn’t get buried, unless if they were a dentist who wrote the Mishna. We saw an unmarked grave. Our tour guide was on it. He figured out what Tana it was, and we tipped him… He made the experience much more enjoyable, knowing they didn’t bury any regular people two thousand years ago. He said, “I don’t know whose grave that is.” Then, he caught himself and said, “That’s a grave of a righteous person.” We all prayed, and he made a lot of money off that grave. I was especially connected to that one, now known as the Nameless Tana, who people pilgrimage to.
And we want to thank David for his extremely long captions. To quote David, "A picture is only a thousand words if you write them."
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Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY For Tickets Click Here My friend’s pig wanted to wish you all a Hog Sameach. You get it? Chag Sameach. Americans can’t say the “Chet.” They say “Hag Sameach.” But this is a hog. So, Hog Sameach. A pig would say that. Most American say “Happy Holiday.” Americans aren’t pigs. Eating too much on Sukkot does not make you a pig. It makes you a person with an upset stomach, who put on twelve pounds. I hope that clears up any misconceptions about why the pig is saying “Hog Sameach,” and people from the US do not. Though, Americans can be quite friendly. Sukkah- A hut that is poorly built. Not a mitzvah. H’ knew that is the best a Jew can do. No Jew can build anything that lasts longer than seven days. And that is without rain. My Brother-in-law Teaching his Son to Build: ‘What you gotta do is take the soft side. Then you take the hard side of the Velcro. Tap as such… take the metal. Slip it through canvas. That’s how we build…’
Hakafot on Simchat Torah isn’t a Mitzvah. It’s tradition. Please don’t pull me into the dancing circle. It’s very uncomfortable. I don’t know when the tradition of pulling self-conscious people who don’t know how to dance, into a circle of people who don’t know how to dance, started.
I love the Torah. Let me celebrate the Torah as I do, by throwing candies at kids. Categories
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2/4/2026
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