The Kibbitzer Photo Album LIII

​Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about having to say every additional prayer on Rosh Chodesh Chanukah, and TV dinners which good Jews eat when traveling and at Simchas, all while praising Jews for not cleaning their front lawns, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing a picture of him taking down the Ya’aleh vYavo sign, instead of relishing the extra Tefillahs..

Nothing happened. No wind. No war. That’s a Frum front lawn. We don’t have backyards in the bungalows. We don’t use them in Teaneck... The neighbors understand that Jews learn Torah and leave stuff on the front lawn. That's the tradition. The Mesorah. Due to years of oppression our people are always ready for tragedy. Hence, the chairs are all in their right spots. And we keep them there. Front lawn.

Kosher class on a cruise. People next to me were asking why Jews like airplane food so much. We like our food double wrapped. It just tastes better with the plastic. Frum Jews, we take pride in TV dinners. Wedding food at my heretic cousin’s wedding. There is no greater feeling as a religious Jew than being at a wedding and pulling your food out of the casing at the table. All five courses individually wrapped by MealMart… We see that double wrapping as quality assurance. And incarcerated people of all nations would agree.

Those signs are the scariest thing I've seen in a while... I had to repeat the Amidah five times before I got it right. Turns out, when you see signs, shul takes longer too. Next time I see that many signs, I’ll be sure to skip shul.

I did my part for the congregation, taking down the sign. That saved a good fifteen minutes the next morning... One guy said, “I don’t even know why we have the sign. That Gabai whacked the table so hard, I had to bench Gomel.” Gomel is the Bracha you say when you survive a near-death experience. Which according to many can include a Chazin singing Hallel on a weekday.