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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about being asked to help out at shul, and people showing solidarity to Israel, while slaughtering a bagel, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing his cynical thoughts on religious Jews taking the Mitzvah of Lulav and Etrog seriously.
The Yom Kippur appeal. This is what my shul gives me. A pledge to volunteer. We just did Kol Nidrei. I annulled all future vows. And the first thing they do is ask me to lie… I will not help. There is no chance I will help. I believe the community already knows that. They also know they’re not getting any money from me. I take back Mishebeyrachs when they say, “They shall all be healthy, in order that David gives Tzedakah.” If any appeal tab ever gets flipped, you know somebody stole my card… If you’re asking. There is nothing about older people or visiting the sick. We don’t care about them. No shul ever says “we need to draw more elderly.”
The Annual Etrog Check Competition in Meah Shearim. A matter of who can check for Etrog Bletlach faster. You find the nick, you’re winning. The guy on the left lost. Asides for point deductions for not wearing a hat, his eye distance to Etrog is a Shonda... With that kind of intensity, I don’t believe any of them had time to build a Sukkah. Other competitions include the Etrog Grab for biggest Etrog. And the Etrog Pay, where you feel good overpaying for your Etrog, while explaining its Kedusha and why that guy who sold it to you is smiling while taking all of your money.
Solidarity. The support people show the Holy Land. And they know they’re doing their part.
I felt bad executing the bagel. But I did what I had to. There was lox.
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Comedy in Crisis… Yes! A stand-up show about sickness! Three years in the waiting room and David shares the reality of love, hardship and joy with you in laughs.
Wednesday - Sept. 23 @ 8pm Club SOTA @ School of The Arts- 46 Prince St.- Rochester, NY For Tickets Click Here 
My friend’s pig wanted to wish you all a Hog Sameach. You get it? Chag Sameach. Americans can’t say the “Chet.” They say “Hag Sameach.” But this is a hog. So, Hog Sameach. A pig would say that. Most American say “Happy Holiday.” Americans aren’t pigs. Eating too much on Sukkot does not make you a pig. It makes you a person with an upset stomach, who put on twelve pounds. I hope that clears up any misconceptions about why the pig is saying “Hog Sameach,” and people from the US do not. Though, Americans can be quite friendly. 
Sukkah- A hut that is poorly built. Not a mitzvah. H’ knew that is the best a Jew can do. No Jew can build anything that lasts longer than seven days. And that is without rain. My Brother-in-law Teaching his Son to Build: ‘What you gotta do is take the soft side. Then you take the hard side of the Velcro. Tap as such… take the metal. Slip it through canvas. That’s how we build…’
Hakafot on Simchat Torah isn’t a Mitzvah. It’s tradition. Please don’t pull me into the dancing circle. It’s very uncomfortable. I don’t know when the tradition of pulling self-conscious people who don’t know how to dance, into a circle of people who don’t know how to dance, started.
I love the Torah. Let me celebrate the Torah as I do, by throwing candies at kids. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
11/6/2025
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