The Kibbitzer Photo Album LI

​Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about being asked to help out at shul, and people showing solidarity to Israel, while slaughtering a bagel, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing his cynical thoughts on religious Jews taking the Mitzvah of Lulav and Etrog seriously.

The Yom Kippur appeal. This is what my shul gives me. A pledge to volunteer. We just did Kol Nidrei. I annulled all future vows. And the first thing they do is ask me to lie… I will not help. There is no chance I will help. I believe the community already knows that. They also know they’re not getting any money from me. I take back Mishebeyrachs when they say, “They shall all be healthy, in order that David gives Tzedakah.” If any appeal tab ever gets flipped, you know somebody stole my card… If you’re asking. There is nothing about older people or visiting the sick. We don’t care about them. No shul ever says “we need to draw more elderly.”

The Annual Etrog Check Competition in Meah Shearim. A matter of who can check for Etrog Bletlach faster. You find the nick, you’re winning. The guy on the left lost. Asides for point deductions for not wearing a hat, his eye distance to Etrog is a Shonda... With that kind of intensity, I don’t believe any of them had time to build a Sukkah. Other competitions include the Etrog Grab for biggest Etrog. And the Etrog Pay, where you feel good overpaying for your Etrog, while explaining its Kedusha and why that guy who sold it to you is smiling while taking all of your money.

Solidarity. The support people show the Holy Land. And they know they’re doing their part.

I felt bad executing the bagel. But I did what I had to. There was lox.