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Let's take a stroll down memory lane to David complaining about being asked to help out at shul, and people showing solidarity to Israel, while slaughtering a bagel, with the Kibbitzer's pictures of laughter from last month. We want to thank David Kilimnick for sharing his cynical thoughts on religious Jews taking the Mitzvah of Lulav and Etrog seriously.
The Yom Kippur appeal. This is what my shul gives me. A pledge to volunteer. We just did Kol Nidrei. I annulled all future vows. And the first thing they do is ask me to lie… I will not help. There is no chance I will help. I believe the community already knows that. They also know they’re not getting any money from me. I take back Mishebeyrachs when they say, “They shall all be healthy, in order that David gives Tzedakah.” If any appeal tab ever gets flipped, you know somebody stole my card… If you’re asking. There is nothing about older people or visiting the sick. We don’t care about them. No shul ever says “we need to draw more elderly.”
The Annual Etrog Check Competition in Meah Shearim. A matter of who can check for Etrog Bletlach faster. You find the nick, you’re winning. The guy on the left lost. Asides for point deductions for not wearing a hat, his eye distance to Etrog is a Shonda... With that kind of intensity, I don’t believe any of them had time to build a Sukkah. Other competitions include the Etrog Grab for biggest Etrog. And the Etrog Pay, where you feel good overpaying for your Etrog, while explaining its Kedusha and why that guy who sold it to you is smiling while taking all of your money.
Solidarity. The support people show the Holy Land. And they know they’re doing their part.
I felt bad executing the bagel. But I did what I had to. There was lox.
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How do we know Rachel paid her maidservant? She’d Bilhah. You get it? Bilhah. Bill her. Rachel’s maid was Bilhah. Zilpah didn’t charge Leah. How do we know that? Because she didn’t Bilhah. Thank you. See how I brought that pun back around for you. 
My kitchen. I keep them. Never use them. But I keep them. Must have at least three hundred paper bags. One for each time I go shopping without a plastic bag. And that’s how I help the world, saving the environment. Tikun Olam. The question
International stand-up comedian, David Kilimnick, brings The Humor Hour of laughs to the resident seniors at your facility…
Also book David (Israel's "father of Agnlo comedy") for your shul Stand-up night and community Comedy Kumzits Singalong Show- To Book David to bring the joy and laughs contact [email protected]
(Pirkei Avot 5:10) “One who says ‘what’s mine is mine and yours is yours’ is a regular person.” That sounds right. Regular people say stupid stuff. And we’re not talking about somebody who doesn’t share their Milk of Magnesia.
“And some say it’s the Sodom character trait.” Your not sharing Sunkist fruit gems destroys. Like Sodom, you’re selfish. You don’t invite people to your house. You don’t give to the poor. And you take all the choolante meat at Kiddish. Sorry. I was just at a Bar Mitzvah. It’s the “all about me” attitude. And that’s how regular people are. Regular people never share their gummies. And that’s why Sodom got destroyed. And that dad was right for armbaring the kid who didn’t share the Bar Mitzvah fruit gem bags. Lesson of Love: By sharing your Paskesz, you can save the world. Categories
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The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
The Kibbitzer, where we take Jewish comedy seriously!!! If you are offended, it's satire written by David Kilimnick and poorly edited by David Kilimnick.
So, blame his pseudonyms.
A friend of the Off The Wall Comedy Theater, JHF and The Kibbitzer are here to bring unity and Jewish connection for you, in honor of Rabbi Kilimnick ZT"L.
The Kibbitzer is Funded by the JHF (The Jewish Humor Foundation) and you.
Contact us to share ideas, make a donation and to sponsor Harbatzas Tzchok, the spreading of tradition through laughter, with articles or series in honor and memory of your loved ones.
11/6/2025
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