Shul Announcements: Behalotcha

by Rivka Schwartz

Baby naming this week by the Greenbaum family has everybody mad. It appears that everybody in the shul thought the Greenbaum’s new daughter should’ve been named after them. They chose to name their child after one of their family members, and for that, they want to apologize.
 
The rabbi encourages all to go to the breakaway Minyin. To quote the rabbi, “I can’t stand you. Please go to the Mitzkin Minyin.”
 
Chesed Opportunities: Visit Merwin. The guy is sick. He can’t move. He can’t talk. He’s probably the only one that won’t complain having to listen to you, Bernie.
 
Halacha Classes: How To Get Everybody Mad by Naming Your Child After Somebody. Breakaway Minyins- A History of How They Started and How Much Your Rabbis Can’t Stand Having to See Congregants. Why Visiting People Who Are Sick is More Useful Than Playing Bridge. Why Visiting the Sick Is Appreciated by the Rabbi and Other Things the Rabbi Wants You to Do So He Doesn't Have to See You and Why the Rabbi Wants You to Start Another Congregation.
 
Rivka’s Community Rundown
Everybody in our community thought the Greenbaum girl should be named after them. They’re not even family. But they all feel they're important in the Greenbaum's life, as they have been there to eat at every Kiddish the Greenbaums have sponsored. 
Turns out the extended family was also mad about the baby naming. They said they named the girl after their great grandmother. The name made its way into the baby’s third name. That’s not even the middle name.
Some families do the family member's name as the middle name, so they never have to call the kid by the ancestor’s name. And they are also able to say that Rivka was named after Grandma Basya. How? I do not know.
Basya made her name into Bat Chen. Somehow, Rivka Chaya Bat Chen is named after Basya. No idea. Somebody is pulling the wool over the grandparent's eyes.
Is Bat part of Basya? Is that how their selling it? "We named our daughter after grandma by calling her the daughter of my wife." And that's why you disown family.
Who's Rivka? "A name we really liked." So, you're saying that you hate everybody's names in the family. All the people named after Grandma Basya have a horrendous very ugly name.
 
The rabbi loves the breakaway Minyin. He signed for five more years, and he doesn’t want the congregants to show. Any question he gets now, he says, “Go to the Mitzkin home for services.”
The rabbi is fine if there's no Minyin now. As long as the membership of the shul is not showing up to shul, he's happy.

It's amazing how people only visit people who are feeling good. They only visit people who are relaxing, watching TV. They only visit people who they can interrupt. People that don't want to see them. They think they're doing a favor, interrupting their friend's enjoyment.
They don't visit anybody sick. Sick people, who can't move, who can use a visitor. Somebody popping by to scratch them. A visitor to do Bikur Cholim, talk a little and scratch their back. 
Merwin needs visitors. He can't move right now, so bridge is out of the question. But somebody can scratch for him.
Since COVID, people don't visit the sick. Since COVID, the Mitzvah is to be selfish.
You would think Bernie would at least visit Merwin. To have an audience that can't complain about him talking too much. That's a dream for the older members of our shul. They talk, I don't listen, I show frustration. Merwin can't even move his mouth to show that he wants them to shut up and scratch the back of his arm.
I've started scratching people in nursing homes. They truly appreciate it. They come to Bingo, you can see they can barely move their chips onto the "o" row. There is no way they can reach their back. Sometimes, I scratch their knee. I have a feeling most elderly falls happen because people get a toe itch. They try to reach and there's the fall.
The Chesed Opportunity next week should be to go around scratching old people in nursing homes. We can get our junior congregation on that too. They're always scratching each other. 

"​Why Visiting the Sick Is Appreciated by the Rabbi and Other Things the Rabbi Wants You to Do So He Doesn't Have to See You and Why the Rabbi Wants You to Start Another Congregation." I think that class was more of a statement by the rabbi. Support of the rabbi to visit the sick and for the rabbi to not have to see you, because you're annoying.